Authors Forward
Like most people I often ponder about my life and wonder where I would be and what I would be doing if I had taken different career tracks. I realize now that “Retirement” does not apply to me; it is just a word that I use to communicate to people that I no longer work. After leaving my last job I decided not to work again, so that is my retirement. Actually, when I think about it, I basically did not work much the last couple years; I guess I “retired on the job” mentally long ago. After I turned sixty with so many jobs under my belt, the work thing just seemed to run all-together. I am now left wondering just how much control I actually had over the job paths I followed. Certainly I was responsible for inquiring about the jobs, submitting resumes, and preparing for and attending interviews. Beyond those basic job-hunting steps though, the actual job offer decision was that of the employer. I of course, could turn down the job offer, but for some reason I just could never do that. I always figured it was a good thing to be wanted; particularly when I knew down deep that the only real skill I possessed was my uncanny ability to get job offers. So, by landing a job I felt I had succeeded even before the actual employment experience began. Unfortunately, I did not realize this until about my 45th job or so! This would have been valuable information to have around job number ten or eleven. I guess this is a convenient way of explaining away an otherwise chaotic mess of a work life, but it’s my story and I am sticking to it. The fact that I really did nothing to prevent myself from having so many jobs in life would suggest that I am to blame for my wanderings.
Lastly, I must say that the real upside to having so many different jobs was meeting and working with so many wonderful people. With over fifty jobs and sixty titles to my credit, I have learned many lessons that I humbly share with you here. I hope you laugh and learn a little.
I first met Smitty at a car show in a Dairy Queen parking lot in Columbus Ohio. He was sitting in an old aluminum lawn chair between a 1967 Mustang GT 2+2 Fastback and a 1957 Chevy Impala. Both were in pristine condition. The Mustang was a special kind of white, which matched the old mans mustache. The Chevy was heavily customized and had a metal-flake blue paint job that shown the same color and sparkle as the mans eyes. In fact, the man fit the picture perfectly; and I think that is what mostly caught my attention. He was wearing a well-worn NAPA Auto Parts hat, blue jeans, a Pittsburgh Steelers tee shirt and a pair of penny loafers with no socks. The white mustache was large and consumed most of his face. I said hello and complimented him on the cars, asking if he had restored them. That was when he stood and smiled. It was a smile I will never forget; his mustache seem to raise like a garage door and pearly white teeth stretched from ear to ear. With a reminiscent look he said, “believe it or not, I bought the Mustang brand new when I was in high school. My Dad restored and customized the Chevy. “Wow” I replied, “your parents must have been wonderful to get you a beautiful Mustang like that” while you were in high school. He looked at the car for moment as if remembering something then responded saying “Yes, my parents were terrific, but I bought this baby all by myself; paid cash for it and drove it right off the showroom floor! I was surprised at this statement and could not help but ask how in the world as a high school student he did that? He said he started working at a very early age and by the time he was sixteen he had saved quite a bit of money; more than enough in fact to purchase this beautiful car. At that moment he introduced himself, producing that charismatic smile again and shooting out his hand with a gunslinger quick-draw. He offered me the extra lawn chair next to him and said “sit down if you have the time and I’ll tell you about it.
Smitty grew up in a small town in Eastern Ohio. During his childhood he was surrounded by hard working people. He was raised by a working Mother, Father and Grandmother. His immediate family and all the Aunts, Uncles, neighbors and friends seem to work in the steel and paper mills, coke plants and coal mines. From an early age Smitty watched and listened as those around him left for work, returned from work and sat around kitchen and dining room tables talking about work. By the time Smitty reached age ten he began to feel as though life was passing him by. Based on what he was observing on a daily basis he felt compelled to find a job. He was tired of hanging around in the old barn behind his house pretending he was a successful businessman, creating scenarios in his mind where he would buy low and sell high to make his fortune. It was becoming down right embarrassing; everybody sitting around talking about their jobs, and he had nothing. So finally, after an exhaustive search and weeks of parent badgering, a close cousin offered Smitty his first job. He was offered $1.50 per week to help deliver newspapers seven days a week to homes within his neighborhood. Smitty was elated; finally he had joined the ranks of the working class. Now he had something to say at the dinner table. He may have even sat up a little straighter at the table each day. With head held high he could now join the conversation commenting on the weight of his pack of papers, how quickly he got his deliveries made, and describing some of his best porch throws. He felt like he was part of the group now; complaining about long hours, heavy workload and low pay. At a $1.50 a week he wasn’t sure how he could make it, but he lived at home and had few bills; well actually none. After about a year, he caught a big break because his cousin started letting him also help with Saturday night collections. This meant that he would get a few tips in addition to his regular pay. He knew this would put him in a higher income bracket, but so far he was exempt from income tax. By his reckoning, he felt like now was the time to build a strong financial base; he just needed to make a little more money. After a few months of handling money on Saturdays, Smitty had an epiphany: there was no accounting for the money! Absolutely none. He just collected the fees, took out his tips and gave the money bag to his cousin when finished. He began to wonder if he might be able to take an extra dollar each week without issue. He tried this for three weeks straight and sure enough, nobody seemed to notice or care. So each week during the course of collecting he would slip an extra dollar down the front of his pants. He wasn’t sure why he did it this way but the act of filching this extra buck felt pretty illegal; so based on what he had seen on TV he figured there was always the outside chance he might be caught and frisked; or even strip searched! Surprisingly, months passed without any issues arising from this supplemental income plan. In total, he was now up to about $5.00 a week. What Smitty didn’t know and hadn’t even considered, was that his cousin was short a dollar every week and had to make it up out of his tips when he reconciled with the newspaper provider. It wasn’t long before his cousin gave up the paper route and asked Smitty if he wanted to take it over. After deciding to accept sole ownership of the route, Smitty realized two things: One; he had screwed his cousin over for money; and two; he would not be hiring a helper! Later in life he concluded that this experience had provided him with three valuable business lessons: “Never trust the help”, “never partner with friends or family” and “always handle the money yourself”.
Smitty was enjoying being sole proprietor of his newspaper business, but he couldn’t help thinking there had to be a way to make more than the twenty bucks a week the effort was producing. He decided to put on a helper. He of course would do the collections himself! Based on his own experience he knew that end-to-end it took about two hours to prepare and deliver the papers. A helper would cut this time in half. Currently, with tips, he was pulling down an average of $20 a week so why not pay a helper to deliver all the papers? He felt like he could pay somebody $5 a week easily and this would free him up to focus on collections and develop another revenue stream. After considerable effort, mostly on his parents and siblings part, Smitty got a job for two hours a day after school washing donut pans at a bakery. He figured he could work the job right after school and still get back to his neighborhood in time to make sure that his paper business was running smoothly. Smitty was proud of his efforts. Saturday night collections were going much more smoothly and his delivery help seemed content. He was now adding twenty more dollars a week to his income. It might actually be time to open a bank account, he thought. He felt like this Washer job really put him in the heart of the working class. He was really sitting up straight at the dining room table now as he asked his Mom if he could open a bank account. His older siblings seemed to find his request funny and his Dad immediately began a lecture on the seriousness of opening a bank account. Ignoring his Brothers chuckles and Dads lecture, Smitty responded by saying he was thinking of a checking and savings account because he wanted to save for the future and felt like he should be paying his newspaper delivery helper by check so he would have a record. Dubiously, his Dad asked “well just how much money do you have to open these accounts Mr. Rockefeller? Smitty paused for a few seconds, did some quick calculations then said: “Well, I’m getting a real paycheck now from the bakery and I have two of them for 21.75 each; so let’s see; with what I have in my drawer upstairs and those checks about $243.50!
So Smitty got his savings and checking accounts and his life was never the same after that. His Mom, Dad and siblings developed some respect for him after that day, and continued to be amazed at Smitty’s ability to work and make money. In later years Smitty looked back and remembered how good it felt to work and earn money.
Smitty worked at that job for a whole year five days a week and did his newspaper collections on Saturday night, all the while building his bank account and thinking what else he might do to earn more money. In addition to his pay from the bakery Smitty was also allowed to take home either a loaf of bread or six rolls each night. He liked handing this to his Mom or Grandmother when he arrived home each night, but he wished he could find a way to make some extra money with these items. He even thought he might be able to snag an extra bag of rolls or loaf of bread each day. He knew there were potential earnings selling these items if he could just find a convenient outlet. After some thought he realized that the bus stop was an ideal place to hawk this merchandise. Since he had to sit and wait for the bus everyday anyhow why not take advantage of the time and see if anyone was interested in his bread or rolls. So he took a couple extra plastic bags each day and packaged the bread and rolls writing “fresh for sale 50 cents” on them with a magic marker. He then just sat on the wall near the bus stop and sure enough somebody would come along and buy them everyday; it was another easy $5.00 a week. It didn’t take any time before it dawned on Smitty that selling stuff was a lot easier than scrubbing donut pans so he began to look for work that did not contain as much manual labor.
After a few weeks of “bus stop marketing” Smitty had developed regular customers and added cookies to his offering; which he purchased on the way to his stop for fifteen cents and sold for half a buck each day. This helped defray the cost of his daily bus fare, candy bar and soda. He didn’t like spending his hard earned money and had come to realize that reducing expenses was a great way to earn more.
Despite Smitty’s recent aversion to manual labor, he felt like sitting at the bus stop for almost an hour each day was a terrible waste of time even with the bakery goods sales. One day while sitting in his usual spot he noticed that the ladies apparel shop across the street had showroom windows that he never saw anyone cleaning. He thought to himself; I could clean those windows in the time that I am sitting here waiting on the bus. So the next day he walked over to the shop and asked one of the people inside if they would like their windows washed every day. Without hesitation the Manager of the store looked up from the counter and said “now what would you charge for that young man?” Smitty responded that he would do the job everyday for $2.00. Apparently it was a job nobody wanted because Smitty was hired on the spot. So each day after he sold his baked goods he trekked across the street and cleaned those windows with a giant squeegee provided to him by the store manager. After a couple days of doing this it occurred to him that he could sell his baked goods there also because so many people were coming and going. He just sat them in the window while he was washing and they were gone in minutes. Most of the same customers actually walked across the street and continued buying from him. With the addition of the window washing Smitty was now earning over fifty dollars a week; $53.25 to be exact, and Smitty liked to be exact, particularly when he made his monthly deposit at the bank. He loved going to the bank; they called him by name now and he felt important when he walked up to the counter with the money bag that they were kind enough to give him. When Smitty composed job resumes later in life he thought about his two jobs washing donut pans and windows and was reminded to be careful with the use of job titles that can stereotype you.
Smitty was now holding down three jobs. Each day after school he would wash the donut pans for a couple hours, then do the window washing while selling his baked goods. Then he would catch the bus and be home by 6PM for supper. Fortunately his paper route was running smoothly; he had even added an additional block of customers recently. He was very happy with the money he was earning but he wished he did not have to run around so much to accomplish it. Although he really liked being home for dinner each night he was considering taking a more permanent job that paid more. He had just turned fourteen which meant he could get a work permit and go for a higher paying permanent job somewhere. He didn’t know it at the time but this was the beginning of a pattern he would follow the rest of his life. He felt like it was time to start making some real money, so he starting looking for something that would fit in with his schedule and other endeavors. The most convenient place he immediately thought of was a new restaurant about a half a mile from his neighborhood and just one bus stop beyond his regular daily ride. He figured he could easily make it to the place after school by five o’clock each day. After talking to his parents that evening and getting their blessing, Smitty put in an application at the restaurant the very next day. He was hired a week later. Smitty was elated; not only had he landed a real job, but because he was accustomed to handling money with his newspaper business, the Manager put him in training waiting on customers and running a cash register. He even had a title “Window Man”; much better than “Washer” he thought. To Smitty the job was kind of like selling his bakery goods only on a larger scale. Of course he knew he was going to have to give up at least one of his other jobs now, but he felt like he could make enough money with his new job to counter the loss of income. It didn’t take him long to figure out that he should drop the most labor intensive job so he turned in his resignation at the bakery. Unfortunately, this also cut the baked goods sales revenue, but he figured he could buy bread and rolls when he bought his cookies and still turn a reasonable profit. So, his daily routine continued netting him a few dollars while he washed the apparel shop windows and hawked his baked goods. He then jumped on the bus and headed to his new job each day. Smitty felt like he was on a good solid path to riches. He could easily knock down four hours four nights a week and seven hours on Friday at the restaurant. At $2.25 an hour that was 51.75 a week plus the paper route at $20 and the windows at $10. Smitty was now making a whopping $81.75 a week! With his bank account growing he began day-dreaming about buying a car in a couple years. He already had $1,936 in savings and $753 in checking so he was well on his way. Smitty worked hard and saved money for the next two years. He learned the food service business in its entirety. He stayed late most nights and worked with the store manager. He worked every station and supervised others. He was promoted to shift supervisor and earned two raises in pay. By the time he was sixteen years old he was practically running the operation. He had also accumulated a considerable amount of money during that time. The day had finally come when he could make the dream of owning his own car a reality. He had his eye on a nice car at a dealership just down the street from where he worked and was set to get his drivers license in a few days. His plan was finally going to come together; he had known for some time that the only way he could make more money was to work more hours, and a car of his own was instrumental to that effort. The final hurdle would be getting his parents to agree to his proposed work schedule, which would have him closing the restaurant on three school nights. Also, he planned to give or sell the newspaper business to his helper or whoever might be interested. He would also give up the daily window washing since he would be driving to school and his full time job. “Full time job” He like the sound of that. He immediately figured the addition of transportation would net him at least twenty more hours a week and this would more than make up for the loss of income from his other jobs. Smitty had reached the point where the restaurant manager completely trusted him and knew he was very ambitious. He also knew that Smitty had saved quite a bit of money and encouraged him to consider saving enough money to buy into the business in a few years. He explained to Smitty that the restaurant was selling franchises to people who wanted to open up their own operation. He asked Smitty to consider going into a partnership with him in a couple years when Smitty turned eighteen and had half the money saved up, which would require a twenty five thousand dollar investment on his part. Smitty thought about this quite a bit. He had almost thirteen thousand dollars saved. He was pretty sure that if he saved every penny he could have his half of the investment money in three years; but that would require him to buy a lot less car than he had been dreaming of. He began to think about other ways he might make additional money in order to have the amount his manager had expressed. He liked the idea of owning or at least partially owning a real business; and apparently this company was doing quite well because they had a big sign out front that claimed they had sold over a million hamburgers!
Chapter 5. Portrait Studio Salesman
Smitty was successful convincing his parents that he could maintain his grades while working almost full-time. It was a hard sell for him and he knew that one slip would forever put serious doubts in their minds about the idea. He also had to break the buying a car plan to them. His Dad put up a major protest until Smitty told him he had the money to pay for the car and his share of the required insurance. Once again, his parents were shocked by the amount of money Smitty had saved.
Excitedly, Smitty went off to get his car. This was a moment that he had dreamed about for two years. He had been by the car dealership so many times the staff knew him by now. He had his eye on a new Ford Mustang GT. It was a beautiful white car with fastback louvers, mag wheels, and green tinted windows with pin striping to match. It was a showroom vehicle the owner of the dealership had special ordered. It had every option available including a big high performance engine Smitty could not stop thinking about. The sticker price was $3,229 but Smitty felt sure he could talk them down a little. He stopped by after school on Monday and told the salesman that he was interested in buying the car and wanted to take a test drive. The salesman just grinned at his request and said he would have to get a parent to come in. Smitty did not understand why his Mom or Dad had to be there. When he asked, the salesman explained that because he was a minor a parent had to be present. Smitty did not like being called a minor. After all, he was a full-time worker now. He worked like an adult and felt like he should be treated as such. Right then, he did something that he would repeat many times for the rest of his life; he negotiated. He told the salesman he understood but asked him if he could make an exception. He said he did not want to bother his parents with this and since he was “paying cash” with his own earned money he would appreciate a quick test drive. Smitty learned a valuable business lesson that day; money talks! The salesman went and talked to his Sales Manager who immediately took over the conversation with Smitty. The Sales Manager had his doubts regarding Smitty’s statement that he would be paying cash, but his interest in this bold young man continued. He told Smitty that he would take him for a ride in the car but he could not let him drive. Smitty reluctantly agreed to this and the Manager took him for a quick spin. At the end of the ride, and much to the surprise of the sales manager, Smitty said “I’ll take it” and whipped out his checkbook saying “will you take a check or should I go get the cash!” At this point the Sales Manager excused himself and went to find the owner of the dealership, who after a short briefing became very much involved. He was astonished by what the Sales Manager had told him and ask Smitty where he planned on getting the money to buy the Mustang; which happen to be one of the most expensive cars on the lot; in fact he had personally ordered the custom vehicle himself and drove it to and from work for a couple weeks before putting it in the showroom. Smitty simply told him that he was getting the money from his savings account. Despite the clarity of Smitty’s statement, the dealership owner just could not come to terms with this kid having that much money. He would have been even more shocked if he knew that Smitty had almost four times that amount banked! At this point the Owner told Smitty that it would be best if he brought a parent in to close the deal. Smitty was again facing this “you are a minor” thing and it frustrated him to no end. So much so that he experienced something right then that had never happened to him before; he got angry. He told the Owner of that dealership that he could keep his car and that he would go elsewhere and buy his car. Furthermore, he told the man that he had four times as much money in the bank as that car cost and he would find a better car. Now, in true form, the car dealer went back to his basics of selling without regard for Smitty’s age. He said “alright kid, calm down; you come back tomorrow with the cash and you got the car, but can I at least call your Mom and Dad to make sure they are not going to get mad at me for selling you the thing?” Smitty felt like that was a fair request, let go of his anger, and shook the dealership owners hand. He gave him his parents names and home phone number so he could confirm the sale with Smitty’s parents. He even invited Smitty to his plush office on the second floor of the dealership and made the call with Smitty present. While waiting Smitty thought about the day he would have a nice office. After a brief conversation with Smitty’s Dad, the dealership Owner turned to Smitty and said “you are an extraordinary young man”. Once again Smitty offered to write a check or get a cashiers check to close the deal. He told the Owner he was only willing to pay the sticker price for the vehicle on one condition: he would be the one to drive it off the showroom floor. The Owner informed him that would not be possible, which caused Smitty to get stubborn again. Seeing the look on Smitty’s face, and having gained a great deal of respect for this young man the Owner agreed to let him sit behind the wheel while they pushed the vehicle out of the showroom the next day. Smitty drove off in his dream car that day.
Now that he had good transportation and fulltime employment Smitty went back to thinking about how he could make some extra money to make up for the revenue he had lost when he gave up his other jobs. He also wanted to get busy replenishing his savings account for what he had spent on the car. He was a little disappointed he could not sell his newspaper business which he ended up giving to his delivery guy. He wondered if he should share his early business lesson with the kid about handling the money yourself, but could not think of a way to make his point without incriminating himself.
During this time, Smitty had taken to reading the daily newspaper want ads thinking this might be a way to find another source of income. He was thinking he might do something on Saturday and Sunday afternoons since he only worked Saturday nights and was off on Sunday. One day he saw an advertisement for a sales job that sounded interesting. “Must have own car and be willing to work evenings and weekends” Well, he didn’t have any evenings but he did have a car and most of the weekend. He decided to call the number listed and inquire. He talked to a nice young woman and told her he had transportation and could work on Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday; all the while assuming his parents would go along with this plan as well; after all, it was work wasn’t it? The young woman told him to come in for an interview Saturday morning which was the next day. Smitty arrived at nine o’clock on the dot.
This was the first of many selling experiences for Smitty. Sales seemed like the perfect fit for him. He liked people, enjoyed talking, dressed well; and had a really cool car! Based on everything he had been told this sounded like the right job for him. His routine was to drive from door to door following up on leads the company gave him and trying to solicit folks to buy coupons that could be redeemed at a portrait studio located inside a local department store. The whole thing seemed simple enough, but he quickly found out that although he liked people and enjoyed talking to them, they on the whole did not reciprocate. He also soon realized how expensive it was to drive around all day. After a couple weeks he began to think he might not make much money doing this job. His car, which was awesome and the envy of every kid in school, was equipped with a high performance engine and a carburetor that sucked gasoline like a Hoover picking up lint. It didn’t take a mathematician to figure out that gas was costing him more than his take, but admittedly, he was way too slow realizing this. He went through quite a bit of fuel before giving up the job. Also, selling, which seemed like the logical choice based on his business experience to date, turned out to be much harder than it looked or sounded. He tucked a new business lesson under his belt: “Make sure you understand the details of a job before you say yes to an offer”.
With photography sales in his review mirror, Smitty vowed to be more careful selecting jobs that involved an investment on his part. After thinking about it some he even began to wonder if he was actually tricked into doing it. Did they know that he was going to use more gas delivering those coupons than he could make…? Hell, he had made more money delivering newspapers. Come to think of it, he kind of tricked his newspaper helper into doing the work while he collected the money! Is that what the photo folks had done to him? Very possible he thought. This got him thinking about the easy and hard way of making cash. The easiest so far was slipping that extra dollar in his pants as a delivery boy helper. So he pondered if you can take money that won’t be missed it’s the perfect crime….hmm. He would have to keep a look out for these opportunities as they presented themselves.
Smitty continued to work hard at the hamburger joint five nights a week, all the while hoping to find some other source of income that did not involve a lot of work. He kind of wished he would have kept his newspaper business and expanded it to include other routes. He was thinking how the photography people used others to do the work; why couldn’t he get something going like that? As chance would have it an opportunity smacked him right in the face while downtown Saturday afternoon looking for new shoes. He was lucky enough to get a parking space right in front of the department store and while fishing in his pocket for change to feed the parking meter he had a revelation; parking meters, vending machines, pool tables, juke boxes! They all contained money but nobody knew how much until they were opened and counted! If you could get into these and slip an extra dollar or two in your pocket nobody would ever know; and if you did it in a big enough way you could pull down a lot of cash….
By this time in life Smitty felt like he had pretty much learned that working had its’ downsides, and with his experience and brains he could do better. He knew from watching countless number of TV programs and first hand experience that stealing successfully was all in the planning. He began spending his time planning how he was going to get into all those money holding machines; starting with parking meters. Basically everything had a key; so if you had the key, you had it made. He laid awake at night thinking how great life would be if he could just come up with a magic key that would open all those little vaults filled with money. He began his quest by walking uptown from school during his lunch hour and looking at every unit he could get near without being too obvious. Once again he was drawn to the parking meters, but he quickly realized he was going to have to get much closer to the things to see how they opened. He needed some kind of excuse for being on the street so much and it came to him when he saw a guy in a sweat suit jogging. He went and bought some convincing looking jogging clothes, suited up and starting running with occasional stops to tighten his laces and stretch; always near a parking meter of course. After a while he got lucky and spotted a lady emptying one of the meters. He stopped within eyeshot and pretended to work out a leg strain. He saw the magic key! Short and round; more like some of the bicycle locks he had seen. He wished he could take a picture or get closer. That night lying in bed he thought about that key and wondered how he could make one. If he just had one unit he could take apart in his garage and study it. He wondered if all the meters were the same and where defective units went when they were replaced. A week went by without any new thoughts about this until he passed by the metal shop at school on the way to his auto shop class. It occurred to him that if there was anyplace you could learn how to make keys this would be it. He would take that class next semester which was only two weeks away. Meantime, he needed to get a sample parking meter; but how?
Smitty had a friend that attended auto shop with him that he felt he could trust. The guy had an old car that was pretty beat up and Smitty figured that he would have no problem letting him borrow it for an evening. It was the perfect vehicle to carry out his plan. He always ribbed the guy about the car because it had a huge front bumper that was curved up in front where he had ran into a telephone pole while racing a guy. Smitty was thinking that this was the ideal car to knock a parking meter down on some remote street somewhere. He began talking to his friend about swapping cars for an evening because he wanted to go out to a local woods and run through a route of creeks he loved. His friend bought the cover story and was more than willing to enjoy Smitty’s Mustang for the evening. Now all Smitty needed was to locate a parking meter away from the town’s main streets and try to mow it down. So, before work that evening Smitty swapped cars as planned and set out after work cruising the less traveled streets looking for a no witnesses meter to crash into. After an hour Smitty found the target. He had seen this one before but there were way too many houses around with lights on. Now, all was dark and quiet. The pole was already leaning some and it looked like nobody had used the meter in a long time. There was a store across the street but it was boarded up now. Nobody around; time to crash! Smitty went back down the street, turned around and came back at about thirty five miles an hour. He figured if his friend could hit a telephone pole at twice that speed he should be able to do this. He jumped the curb and hit the meter pole square in the middle of the front end of that old Packard and flatted it like a pancake. Smitty jumped out of the car, grabbed the meter end and began to pull. It was very heavy. He hadn’t counted on the fact that the things were cemented into the ground. He was not just tugging on the meter and pole but a huge chunk of cement which was attached and still in the ground. Smitty wasn’t sure what to do at this point but he knew somebody was bound to have heard the crash and would show up soon. He ran to the trunk of the old car and opened it hoping something might be in there that could help, and halleluiah, there lay an old tow rope from heaven. He quickly grabbed the rope, looped it through the front bumper of the car and around the meter and backed out of there dragging the meter down the street. He was making a horrendous noise but he kept moving until he got to the first alley which he quickly turned into, stopped, hoisted the now cement free meter into the trunk and sped off. Smitty knew the street was a mess between where he was parked and the scene of the crime. This sure hadn’t gone as smooth as he had imagined; he got out of there fast and headed home to the safety of the barn sanctuary behind his house. He would not sleep well tonight he thought. Would the cops show up or would he get away with it? It was going to be a long night.
Fortunately, morning came and went and the police had not come knocking. Perhaps he had gotten away with the previous nights botched caper. Maybe he had pulled it off, but he would stash the meter for a week or so until he was sure. He would use the time to research locks in general at the downtown library. He was amazed at how many books were available on the subject. He soon had a good working knowledge of different types of locks and locking mechanisms. After a week passed Smitty felt pretty sure the meter was forgotten by whoever discovered the crime scene and wrote it up. Now it was time for him to take the thing apart and determine how it locked. He was surprised at how simple the actual lock was. All it really had was a single tumbler nodule on each side of the lock casing. The key pushed both in and the face of the meter was released from the body. He began to craft in his mind the kind of key that would open the thing. He experimented with paper clips and hair pins without success. He had to create something in the metal shop at school without drawing too much attention. The following week he began the effort using the cover story he was building a viewer to see the next eclipse of the sun. After several failed attempts, Smitty finally perfected a cylindrical key that would pick the meter lock mechanism with a little jiggling. Now to try it on a fully assembled functional meter.
Smitty decided that the best way to approach a live parking meter and try his key was to be straight forward about it. He would park in a busy downtown street, feed the meter normally and try the key; if it worked he would simply close it up quickly and go about his business. He was so nervous on his first try that he dropped the key and his meter change on the ground. To make matters worse, a damned good-Samaritan passing by stopped to help him. As he thanked the person he could feel himself physically shaking and wondered what the helpful lady was thinking about his condition. She probably thought he was handicapped or something because he kept stuttering and fumbling his change while hiding his meter pick from view. At this point he was thinking of abandoning the whole effort but as Mrs. Helpful walked away his courage returned. He quickly put a dime in the meter, slipped his key in the lock and jiggled slightly. The front plate came loose and he caught it before it opened all the way. He replaced it quickly, turned his key back and walked casually away. He had done it; he now had pocket change for life.
Smitty’s parking meter key was the first of many keys he would go on to develop and collect over the next few years. He went on to learn how to open various locks. He developed various sets of picks in metal shop to use with different locks. He collected keys and locks every chance he got. Fortunately his packrat father’s garage and workshop at the main house provided a good start. Soon, Smitty’s barn became more of his workshop than just his garage and hangout. He was thankful to have a place like this to carry on his activities.
Smitty learned a lot about parking meters after successfully creating his magic key. First it became quickly apparent that in order to take the money out of an active meter before the meter collection person showed up and drained it, was not that easy. Secondly, the meters he did open did not contain that much money; particularly if he only took half of the contents which he believed was prudent. It began to dawn on him why the locking mechanism was so simple; there was just not much profit in robbing parking meters! He was pleased with the idea that he would never have to pay for parking again, but nickels and dimes just were not going to net him the windfall he originally dreamed of.
Tossing and turning in bed one night Smitty concluded that in order to make real money he was going to have to escalate his efforts. He believed he could open any basic lock without a trace of tampering. To this end, he proceeded to map out a strategy for robbing every place within a five mile radius of his home that he believed should have cash on hand and in machines. He also began running almost everyday so that he could do five miles at a good pace if necessary. To be successful he had to develop the ability to move quickly and quietly. He systematically laid out routes and backup routes in and out of targeted establishments. He worked out “what if” scenarios establishing hiding places, alibis and emergency meeting areas. He took on a motivated partner experienced in thievery. In no time they were rolling in cash, clothes, liquor, cigarettes and food; and because he had the cash to bet a little more at the local pool hall his win percentage was going up. Life was good for six months, until he and his partner were caught, incarcerated and forced to join the military in order to clear their records. He would never forget the night that they were caught. It was close to 3:30 in the morning and they had made their way outside the five mile radius. This was a big mistake. Smitty didn’t like violating his five mile rule but he and his partner had robbed every place within the radius, so the only choice was to extend the distance by a couple miles. They were downtown sticking to the shadows and casing a small car dealership. They were on the roof trying to figure out how to drop through a skylight when they heard what sounded like a taxi approaching. They laid down flat, watched and waited. Surprisingly, the cab stopped and a uniformed policeman stepped out. “Why those sneaky little devils” Smitty commented. They froze in place and waited patiently until the officer searched the area and was picked up by his partner in a black and white. They then climbed down from the roof and made their way for home, thankful they were not caught. They had only to make one quick stop to pick up the money they had taken earlier from a previous break-in and hidden on the trail home. Smitty knew that once they made the woods north of town nobody would be able to find them. He also knew that all they had to do was navigate across one dark street and into a gangway between buildings and they would be home free. Laying down flat in a darkened train yard Smitty made a bad decision to cross a lighted parking area to get safely to the to the other side of the street instead of crossing a couple blocks south in a more remote place. He did not want to delay getting out of the downtown area because there could be a search going on for them. He also knew if he acted quickly he had the advantage of being on foot when the cops would no doubt be looking for someone in or near a vehicle. Smitty made a split second decision to run across the lighted parking lot to a dark gangway. It was not more than fifty yards. Everything was clear for a couple blocks either way so on the count of three they went full speed across the lot. At the halfway mark police cruisers seem to come from every direction. They were surrounded by six cars, handcuffed, and taken in separate units to city jail. This was a rather bleak day in Smitty’s life but he learned a valuable lesson about the criminal profession: “Crime pays, but it’s risky and you better be damn good at it”.
Chapter 8. Aircraft Mechanic and Projectionist
Thanks to a lenient judge, good parents and a motivated Air Force Recruiter Smitty had a new job and title. With his second story days behind him he was off to the military. Fortunately he managed to get into the Air Force, which compared to the Army or Marines looked much more attractive at the time. The Vietnam war was still going on and he wasn’t exactly fond of the idea of getting his ass shot off, so the blue bus driver uniform looked like the way to go. His partner in crime was not so lucky; he went to the Army and was sent to Vietnam. Smitty resisted the whole concept of military life for the first two years of his enlistment. It didn’t take him anytime at all to figure out that nobody knew what the hell was going on and that the military was the biggest pretend game going on the planet. Because of the duty he pulled he had no concept of what the real military was like. To him, it appeared that the military just spent money creating make-believe jobs. He didn’t grasp the overall effort of supporting the war machine and he really didn’t understand what was going on in Vietnam. The whole thing was just surreal to him. After attending basic training he was sent to Aircraft Maintenance School. Since he had finished second in his class, he was afforded the opportunity to request specific bases that he would like to be assigned to. He picked two that were closest to his hometown and ended up getting sent to one 120 miles from home. He was assigned to a research and development facility working for civilians for the next three and a half years. The civilian bosses didn’t seem to care what he did so he mostly just showed up in the morning for roll call, then disappeared an hour or two later. Thankful to get rid of him, his boss readily signed a standing weekend pass so he had Fridays off. After a while this became so routine that he started cutting out and heading for home after lunch on Thursdays.
Smitty began thinking about how often he was going to drive back and forth from the base to home and the wear and tear on his Mustang. He decided that during his next extended trip home he was going to put the Mustang in storage and buy another vehicle to travel to and from the base. So, Smitty purchased this little German car that got thirty miles to a gallon saving him a lot of gas money and preserving the Mustang for future use. He then began the routine of going home every weekend. For the better part of his first two years in the military Smitty got home on Thursdays around three PM and spent the weekend. It was almost as though he had never left home. A lot of his schoolmates joined the Air Force because of him; he was the best recruiter in town! Most of them that hadn’t gone to college or the service had gotten jobs in the steel mill or coal mines and were working damn hard five or six days a week. When they saw Smitty arriving home on Thursdays and having the whole weekend off, they began thinking the military looked pretty good even with Viet Nam raging at the time. Unfortunately, none of them ended up with the same kind of deal Smitty had. He caught flak for years about this at high school reunions.
Surprisingly, the people Smitty worked for at the Air Base didn’t even seem to care if he wore uniforms to work. In fact, they didn’t seem to give a damn what he did. Most days he left the work area after the ten o’clock coffee break and went to the gym or one of the many activities the base offered. The base had just about every form of recreation; there was a terrific gym, athletic fields, fishing lakes, golf courses, horseback riding, movies, a bowling alley and several eating and drinking clubs with entertainment. Everyday was basically just one big party for Smitty. He was having the time of his life. When he wasn’t skipping out of work he was screwing off at work. The civilian bosses would rather have him disappear than hang around work because he was disruptive to their routine. Smitty thought it was all very funny at the time but at about the end of his second year he had an experience that changed him. One night after a particularly big day of needling everyone in his group he stayed late playing ping pong in the hanger area. On the way to his car one of the civilians stepped out of the shadows, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against the hanger wall. The man then told Smitty “if you don’t lay off everybody around here and straighten up I’m going to hurt you real bad and nobody will ever know what happen to you”. He then disappeared into the night leaving Smitty shaking like a leaf. Smitty spent the next several days reliving this experience and keeping his distance from all the civilian workers and supervisors. Gradually, Smitty started treating people with a little more respect. Later in life Smitty thought back on this and realized that guy had put the fear of God into him that night. He made Smitty realize that there were consequences for actions. He even began to realize that there was work to do and things to learn and maybe it was time he joined the effort. After two years of screwing around he finally woke up one morning and thought; I need to work. He flashed back into his childhood, his working parents and relatives, and remembered how important it was to work. So the next day he went to his boss and asked “do you have anything for me to do?” Smitty’s boss looked at him like he was his father and said “I thought you would never ask”. That was the beginning of a job that Smitty came to love. During that third year of military duty he got to be a pretty good aircraft mechanic. He applied himself like he did back at the restaurant while in high school. He studied for and received promotions, and became close to the civilian supervisors and workers that he had previously mocked and played tricks on. Apparently they had all been waiting for Smitty to grow up. He even apologized to the two supervisors, Herb and Bill, who he relentlessly picked on the most. He got a charge out of needling them by rigging their offices for mayhem. He would tape their drawer’s shut, phones down, re-adjust their chairs and whatever else he could do to get a good laugh on them. No wonder they didn’t care if he was gone most of the time. Years later Smitty thought about how good-natured they had always been about his shenanigans, and it occurred to him that he had missed the biggest opportunity to heckle them. Right on the front of each of their desks were nameplates; Herb’s and Bill’s last names Otto and Carr! Smitty thought; “I guess all that time they were wondering when a smart guy like me was going to figure that out; guess Herb and Bill got the last laugh after all.”
Despite Smitty’s lost two years, he finally got around to turning the high energy level he had for mischief into a talent for influencing people in a positive way. He began to sing and dance at work to the amusement of those around him. He did impressions and made people around him laugh and enjoy their work more. He became a very positive influence to all those around him, including the new troops that came after him.
Although Smitty had always heard that you should never volunteer for anything in the military, he put his hand up one day when his boss asked if anyone wanted some extra duty. The assignment was to run a spotlight for the Miss Air Force contest. He joined a small group of other volunteers and traveled around to other bases performing a show that would lead up to the crowning of Miss Air Force. Amazingly, he was learning another trade. He was a little unsure if running a carbon burning projector was something that was going to be in high demand in the future, but he loved the idea of doing something different. It also was not bad duty spending time shining a spotlight on ten of the prettiest girls he had ever seen.
Upon returning to his regular duty aircraft maintenance activities Smitty began to think seriously about making a career in the military. Everything was going well and he felt like this might be the place for him. Then suddenly something happen that threw him a curve he would not have thought possible in his wildest dreams or nightmares. His squadron was conducting research and development requiring extensive testing all around the globe. In addition to the officer flight crew, several non-commissioned officers were selected to accompany each mission, which basically took them around the world. His group referred to these missions as “around the world trips” and he was on the list for the next trip and pretty excited about it. Unfortunately, due to some previous trouble he got into he had been temporarily reduced in grade while the rest of his squad had already been promoted to Staff Sergeant. This meant that anybody with a higher rank than his had the right to bump him down the list. His roommate, who was the nicest guy in the world, came to Smitty and asked him politely if he wouldn’t mind skipping the next mission and let him take it. He had been on the trip before but wanted to go again to buy some things overseas for his parents and girlfriend. If it had been anybody else asking Smitty would have put up a fuss, but Ken was such a good guy he said “no problem, I’ll catch the next one”. His roommate really didn’t have to ask anyway, but he was not the kind of guy to pull rank. He was one those guys that when not working, stayed in his room and built models, saved his money, and went home on the weekends to visit his high school sweetheart. Smitty wished him well and no hard feelings. This turned out to be another life changing experience for Smitty; one that he would carry with him until he died. During a mission near Hawaii over the Pacific Ocean the flight his roommate took in his place went down with all hands lost. Instead of Smitty’s name listed as one of those killed in action, his roommate’s name appeared. Smitty was part of the honor guard at his roommate’s funeral back in his hometown. He met his entire family. Years later Smitty found the memorial website with the details of his roommates ill-fated trip. Over thirty civilian and military personnel went down in the Pacific Ocean. The biggest pieces of the plane that were recovered were sections of the wings. The longer Smitty lived the more he thought about this experience and it influenced the way he looked at life everyday.
The military turned out to be one of the best experiences in Smitty’s life. By the time his four-year enlistment ended he had become a model troop. The military offered him a substantial re-enlistment bonus, a promotion to Staff Sergeant and additional training as a Flight Engineer on the latest model Aircraft in service. He planned on taking advantage of this great opportunity and told his supervisor he was ready to re-enlist. He awoke early three days prior to his swearing in ceremony and suddenly realized that if he signed up for another four years he would most likely stay for a full twenty or more. He felt like he needed to do some other things in life so he called it off and was released from duty a few weeks later. He had grown up so much and learned a great deal during his military experience. He discovered that generally people treat you as well as you treat them. But what was now embedded in his heart and mind was that every minute of every day of life is a gift that should never be wasted.
Despite the wonderful opportunity Smitty was offered by the Air Force, he mustered out and headed home; a home that had changed geographically but was still the home of his parents. While he was serving, his Dad had been offered a good job at General Motors in central Ohio so he headed home to a whole new environment. Surprisingly, his parents had purchased a property not unlike their old place in Eastern Ohio. There was even an old barn behind the new house that was twice as big as the previous one Smitty had spent so much time in. His cherished Mustang and his Dads old Chevy were neatly parked and covered just as he had seen them last at the old place. In no time at all Smitty had settled back into his parents home, fixed up the old barn like before and set out to find employment. He had saved just about every dime he made over the last four years so he wasn’t worried about money. He was however anxious to get to work. After a few long weeks of searching for some kind of job it occurred to him that finding a job might not be as easy as first thought. He spoke to his Father about it and was surprised when his dad informed him that there was a recession going on and jobs would be hard to find. His Dad seemed surprised that Smitty did not know this. Smitty now wished he had consulted with his parents before making the decision to exit the military. He learned a lesson that day about the importance of keeping up with what is going on in the world; particularly the economy. It was a lesson he never forgot the rest of his life. Everyday after that he watched the news on TV or listened to the radio, and he always read two newspapers. In fact, newspapers turned out to be the best thing that Smitty ever discovered. He thought it ironic that the newspaper business was his first job but he had never once opened one up and looked at it. Now, the financial pages had become part of his daily life. He particularly liked the Wall Street Journal and went downtown everyday to buy one. As he perused the journal he thought how great it must be to own or be invested in a business that was written about or listed in there. He looked at the stock market pages and picked companies so he could watch their ups and downs. He didn’t understand much about Wall Street at the time but the whole idea fascinated him.
Weeks passed and Smitty could not find a job. He had applied everywhere. He was really bummed that he could not even get a job at an airport considering he had spent the last four years around planes. He was collecting unemployment compensation but didn’t like doing that. It felt like charity to him. He needed to work. He finally admitted to himself that the situation had become dire; Smitty decided it was time to go to the bottom of the barrel for work, so with head hung low he drove to the retail shopping mall. He went from store to store filling out applications for any work at any hours. He was sure something would come if he took the “I’ll do anything” approach. Sure enough, after a few days he got a call from a shoe store and was asked to come in for an interview. He showed up the next day in his best clothes and was offered a job on the spot. He was to start the next day. Even though shoe sales was the farthest thing from Smitty’s career aspirations, he remembered the words of his Mother years before. “A job’s a job” He showed up at the shoe store the next morning a half hour before the ten AM opening time. The Manager showed up right at ten. Smitty wished there would have been someplace to sit down as he watched the Manager raise the security gate and open the doors.
This job turned out to be the shortest employment term Smitty ever had. He clocked in at 10am and quit at noon. When the Manager gave him a break at 11:55 Smitty went in the office to clock out and noticed the work schedule posted on the bulletin board. He was scheduled for 80 hours for the week! He knew that had to be a mistake because he didn’t think the mall was even open that many hours. He brought it to the Managers attention on his way out and to his surprise he said “Oh, that’s correct, we are going to do an inventory this week after hours. Most weeks we normally have something extra like that to do” Now, Smitty liked working and was glad to have a job, but eighty hours? He quickly calculated that based on his salary which was coincidentally $80 a week he was going to have to sell a hell of a lot of shoes at the 3% commission they were offering to make any money at this. He flashed back to his first sales experience with photography and realized once again that he may not make enough at this job to cover the cost of doing it. A dollar an hour! That had to be illegal? He resigned at five minutes after twelve and asked not to be paid so his unemployment compensation wouldn’t get messed up. His was still learning; this time it was “Always ask questions during an interview”.
Chapter 10. Amway and Shaklee Salesman
Despite his disillusionment with sales at this point Smitty could not find anything else to do so he answered a newspaper advertisement that simply stated “success can be yours; call Mary: 282- 9212”. Assuming the job had to be sales of some kind, he decided to call about but proceed with caution. Mary answered his call on the first ring. Smitty introduced himself and asked what kind of job was being offered? She said she would like to tell him all about it but insisted that he visit with her in person before doing so. Smitty was a little suspicious about this but agreed to what he thought was going to be a personal interview. She gave him directions to her location and asked if he could come Tuesday evening at 7PM. He was really getting apprehensive about this now; an evening interview? This seemed a bit strange to him but he had to find a damn job.
Smitty followed Mary’s directions Tuesday evening arriving slightly in advance of interview time. He was surprised to find himself in a regular neighborhood of houses. At first he thought he was lost, but the number she had given him was the fifth house on the short block he was cruising. This did not feel right; he considered turning around and heading back home but he figured he had come this far, why not find out what this was all about. “So much mystery” he thought as he walked up to the door and rang the bell. Mary opened the door almost immediately and introduced herself. She was a tall red headed girl that could not have been much older than Smitty. She had a happy face and a sing-song way of speaking to match. Smitty liked her right off, which was something new for him as he tended to reserve his feelings for people until he knew them well. She invited him into her living room where there were a number of folding chairs and a flip chart set up. She asked him if he would like coffee or water? He was still perplexed by the room set up when she asked him a second time. In a rather confused way he replied “uh, no thanks, excuse me for asking but what are all these chairs for?” Mary smiled and sang out a quick tune saying “you’ll see, I’m waiting for a few others and then will start; please have a seat.” Smitty was so taken back by her politeness and personality that he responded by just saying he would take that cup of coffee after all. She invited him to the dining room where there were coffee, water and a plate of cookies set up. “Help yourself” she said and disappeared into what appeared to be the kitchen. “This is getting stranger and stranger” he thought.
Only a few minutes had passed when the doorbell rang and Mary appeared, greeted people at the door, and ushered them in as she had done Smitty. Shortly after, several more people showed up. Mary was doing introductions as the group had now grown to six including Smitty. The coffee and cookies were being consumed and people were chatting about their lives and search for work; all wondering what this was all about, and waiting patiently for Mary to spill the beans. Finally, she called the group to order and ask everyone to take a seat. She thanked everyone for coming and apologized for all the mystery. She said that she appreciated everyone’s curiosity on the phone but stated that she could not give the opportunity she was about to show us due justice except in person. At this point the guy sitting next to Smitty raised his hand and asked “is this Amway?” Mary replied “yes it is, and in a moment I am going to show you how you can make a lot of money.” She quickly moved to the flip chart and picked up a magic marker. Before she could speak the guy next to Smitty got up, mumbled a short apology and left; he was followed by a lady in the row behind who said nothing. Smitty seemed to be frozen to his chair now, apparently out of apathy for either Mary or the fleeing man and woman who had now closed the door behind them. The other three must have felt the same as Smitty regarding the scene because they stayed in their chairs as well. Mary attempted to gain her composure, apologizing for the interruption and trying to get her marker under control; which had begun shaking uncontrollably. When she tried to speak the sing song voice that Smitty noticed earlier had turned a little squeaky; like she had one of those things that come in dog toys stuck in her throat. Her face color now matched her red hair as she again apologized for the two deserters. She then broke into tears and left the room. The remaining attendees sat in silence for a few minutes wondering whether the show, whatever the hell it was, was still going on? After a while they assumed Mary was not coming back so they all went to the dining room, finished the cookies, and left.
About a week later Mary called Smitty and ask if he was still interested in seeing the presentation and learning more about Amway. His curiosity, lack of a job, and attraction to Mary made him say yes. The following week he went back to Mary’s house again and watched and listened as she did a bang up job of presenting the Amway road to riches.
Smitty became an Amway distributor after her pitch and continued on that road for several years. He even added a second product to his sales repertoire by also becoming a Shaklee vitamin distributor. He never found the destination “riches” on the sales road referred to in Mary’s fine presentation, but he did sell a hell of a lot of soap, shoe polish, and breath freshener. He also got hooked on taking a whole handful of vitamins everyday which he later attributed his longevity. The experience was good though; he learned that there is only one way to be successful selling Amway, Shaklee, or any product is to get a whole lot of people working for you that don’t mind helping you get rich. When he first thought about this he felt like it went counter to reasonable thinking. Why would other people work to make other people rich? Later in life he learned that this is exactly how wealth is achieved. Although he wasn’t very successful at building his Amway or Shaklee network, the experience taught him that a good flip chart presentation can sell anything. He also learned that you can find happiness in the strangest places; he started dating Mary Kay Lenox three months later and married her the following year. Besides his eternal love, Mary turned out to be the most influential person in Smitty’s life. As it turned out, in addition to her Amway ambitions she had already developed her own business that was beginning to perform quite well. It worked very similar to Amway, which is what got her interested. She started selling cosmetics to her friends and family in the early sixties and had finally expanded her business to others via a pyramid structure like Amway. She named the business after herself and continues to do well to this day. Later in life with the help of Mary Smitty became a flip chart master.
In addition to his not so successful Amway and Shaklee business Smitty took on another job that ended up much bigger than he ever intended. His Father, who was a bit of a go-getter himself, had a painting business on the side that he wanted Smitty to get into. Smitty did truly believe that painting was a very honorable trade, but he could not see himself doing it nearly as much or as long as it turned out. He set out to help his Dad with a few projects in order to make a little extra money. The next thing you know he was deep in the throws of the business. He met a couple painters that worked for his Dad that were very good at the trade and he quickly learned how to paint. These two guys worked as a team and it was just amazing how fast and neatly they could paint. They used very little tools other than their brushes and rollers. They trimmed without the aid of tape or trim boards, and used minimal drop cloths and coverings; they just didn’t put the paint anywhere it was not suppose to be. It was fun watching them work and Smitty picked up a lot of tricks of the trade from them. What was even more astounding about the pair besides the speed and accuracy of their work, is they stayed up late every night playing poker and drinking and never seemed to have a hangover or be in bad spirits. Smitty was not sure how they did it, but they always seemed to be in good humor and he never saw them out of control in anyway. They just merrily painted, played cards and drank.
To his nature, after a while Smitty pretty much took the painting business over. At first he just helped his Dad paint a few houses and apartments. Then he started helping his Dad bid on jobs. Then it was bigger jobs like entire apartment complexes and office buildings. He began supervising several other professional painters and making sure the business was meeting union demands. After a while he didn’t even paint anymore; he just quoted jobs and went from site to site making sure everything was running smoothly. Smitty was in the painting business for many years. He learned the business on the fly by working with and listening to experienced painters that he employed. He learned that these painters were professionals and took pride in their work. He found out that there is a quiet solitude to painting and a satisfying sense of “cleaning things up” that he really liked. He often thought back on his and his Fathers painting business and wondered if he should have stayed with it. He remembered fondly of a three month period when he had personally painted both sides of 320 doors. That was quite a summer. He met everybody in the apartment complex he was working, made a few good friends and received many free meals and drinks. This was when it was fun; before it became a business. Smitty continued this business in addition to his Amway and Shaklee for several years; all the time being schooled by his wife in the art of presentation and determination.
Chapter 12. The Maintenance Business
After about a year running the painting business Smitty decided to branch out into general maintenance. It seemed to him, everybody needed their leaky faucet fixed so this is where he started. He figured replacing a few washers or putting in a new faucet was about as easy as it could get, so every time he ran into this he would take the work himself and make some extra cash. Over time he started taking more of these type of jobs, and found himself running new plumbing and installing new sinks and water heaters. The more work like this he took on the more he liked it. Plumbing was fun! He even thought of joining the union and making a career out of it. He knew that qualified Plumbers made good money and he liked the idea of having a specific trade. When he ran this idea by Mary Kay her immediate reply was “are you crazy? We’re making close to a hundred thousand dollars a year with the maintenance and Mary Kay businesses Smitty!” Smitty never paid any attention to the financial side of the business; that was Mary’s department; so he was very surprised by her reaction. Furthermore, she added “if you want to do something else Smitty that’s OK but we need to sell the maintenance business. The last time I estimated it was worth close to $300K.”
After that conversation with Mary, Smitty thought about the time he did a job where he ran new plumbing in a 5-story apartment building to the 5th floor and accidentally cut off all the other floors water! After some reflection he decided that maybe a plumbing career was not the way to go.
At this juncture it seemed to Smitty that everywhere he went there was work. People were approaching him almost on a daily basis asking if he knew anyone that did remodeling or small jobs. He knew he could do most of the things requested, but was reluctant to get into it after the sudden growth he had experienced with the painting business. He felt like he could do a few of the things himself but just like the painting he would have to sub-contract most of it. That meant getting a whole new network going that he didn’t know much about. His Father had done some of this type of work before he got into painting full-time, so he quizzed his Dad about the idea. To his surprise his Dad knew a lot of people in the business and gave him a handful of business cards for people that did different things; remodeling, plumbing, electrical, drywall, cabinetry, roofing etc. He wasn’t sure how many of them were still in business but he assured Smitty that they were the best at what they did, and that he had used them over the years when he was in the maintenance business himself. This got Smitty thinking about a different approach to engaging in this business; why not develop an organized network of these folks, he thought? He got out the cards, spread them on his desk and started making calls. Many were unanswered dead ends, but the vast majority of them were still working or looking for work. Smitty asked each one if he could meet with them to discuss the business that was coming his way. It took him a month to visit with everyone personally. He came away with a total of twelve individuals that were interested in what Smitty had going. After this, with the help of Mary Kay, he set up a meeting and invited them all to his house to go over the details of what he thought would make them all steady money. Mary set up the flip chart, chairs, coffee, water and cookies just like the first day he met her. Smitty’s idea was to present the group with a plan to develop a maintenance organization, establish initial scope, and set rates for different types of work. Smitty explained that what he had been seeing for the last couple years in the painting business was a great amount of work that was not getting done. He went into detail with them how he planned to get at this work and level out the workload so that each team member could stay busy as much as they wanted to. His plan was to fill peak and valley times with a pool of ongoing work. He told the group that all he needed from them was flexibility; and during the interview process that was the strength that each of them had. “Each of you have specialties, but you also have a history of doing different things” he stated. He appealed to this spirit and pointed out that this was their strength as a group and the reason working together they could be very successful. He also threw in the caveat that he always had painting projects as a backup to insure a smooth flow of work. To Smitty’s elation everyone unanimously approved the idea and signed on. D&H maintenance was formed that day. Smitty named the business after his Father (Don) and Mother (Helen) who were in the maintenance business years earlier. Smitty knew that he would never have thought of the idea had his Dad not handed him those business cards.
Although he didn’t understand it until much later in life, this was Smitty’s first experience with multi-project management. Both the painting and maintenance business kept Smitty way too busy, but he loved it. It wasn’t really like work to him. He just quoted jobs, made phone calls, and drove around all day. He learned to problem solve, plan for contingencies, motivate people and schedule, schedule, re-schedule. He was steadily adding talented people to the growing company and soon realized that he could make the organization as big as he wanted to. In fact this scared him a bit. He had never planned or desired to be in this type of business; now here he was with over 30 people depending on him. Mary Kay’s cosmetic business was also taking off. She was doing all the bookkeeping and payroll for D&H in addition to her own business. The two of them began to wonder if they were going to have to cut out sleeping. They began to talk about the future; a subject they both knew was dangerous with their kind of ambition. Smitty stated that he really always wanted to go to college and he still hadn’t used any of his GI Bill. With Mary Kay doing so well it might be time to look for a buyer to take over the painting and maintenance business freeing Smitty to pursue his education. This was a huge step for him but with Mary’s support he decided to go for it.
Chapter 13. Student, Stockman, Bookkeeper
It didn’t take long for Smitty to find a buyer for D&H Maintenance; one of his strongest sub-contractors was ready and excited about taking it over. He paid Smitty an agreed upon fair price and it was done in less than a month. For the first time in many years Smitty actually got some real sleep. He and Mary even decided to take a vacation, which they hadn’t done since their short honeymoon. So they packed up the car and headed for Pensacola Beach Florida for two weeks relaxation and to take in the Blue Angels annual air show. The two weeks seemed like an eternity to Smitty. The last time he could remember not working or looking for work for this long a period was the summer before he went in the Air Force.
When Smitty returned from vacation he got busy again getting enrolled in college. He was very excited about it. He signed up for four freshman classes during the daytime. The schedule he worked out would afford him late afternoons and evenings to help Mary as needed and keep up with homework. Within a few weeks he was humming along nicely and found the schoolwork quite easy. He was never a great student, but for some reason everything he read made perfect sense and it just stuck in his mind. He was acing most of the tests with little effort. In fact he had so much extra time on his hands that when the holiday season rolled around he took a part-time job a few hours a day at a local toy store. He passed it each day on the drive to and from campus and stopped in one day and presto he had a fun part-time job. At first, he was just unloading trucks and putting up stock. He figured the exercise would do him good and the job was basically paying for his daily workout. Plus, he really liked the work; when he wasn’t busy wheeling a cart full of stock to put up he would spend a little time in the office. One day he passed the open door to the general office and overheard a rather heated discussion regarding the loss of some money. He tried not to ease drop, but could not help overhearing the store manager say they needed a good bookkeeping and lay-away system. More as a joke than anything Smitty stuck his head in the door, apologized for ease-dropping, and told them he could fix everything for them if they wanted. They all just stopped talking and stared at him for a minute. Since they were apparently giving him their attention he went on to tell them that he was studying bookkeeping in college and that a simple set of books is probably all they needed. To his surprise, they called him in the office the next day and asked him to explain what he meant by “a simple bookkeeping system”. He took advantage of the white board they had in the office and did an impromptu outline of the steps he would take and the records he would keep to track income, expenses and layaways. The group seemed impressed with his presentation (thanks once again to Mary for the flip chart training). Actually all he did was mimic what his college accounting teacher had opened his Accounting I class with. He explained that he had to keep a set of books for school so creating a set for them would be good for both of them. They hired him as their bookkeeper on the spot. The next day Smitty reported in nicer clothes and basically just took the practice sets from college and applied them to the operation. It was a great bookkeeping experience for him and in no time he had everything running smoothly. It was also a great chance to double his salary because after all, he was an accountant now not a stockman. He had things going so well after just one week, he took over their Lay Away department and whipped it into shape. The Manager actually put Smitty in charge of the department, which was located near where he had previously assembled bikes and wagons. In fact, after a couple weeks he had things in such perfect order, he used his spare time to continue putting a few of them together each day. Smitty was having a great time at his new found job. It seemed like the more he did the more time he had to do other things. He almost volunteered to continue putting up stock because he had the bookkeeping, layaway management and toy assembly down to a science with time to spare. Sometimes he would go up to the sales floor and help customers find things. He even filled in for a couple of the cashiers a few times. He rarely saw the store manager who was at other stores most of the time. The staff began to come to Smitty for guidance and help when the store got busy. He began to think he might actually be managing the operation. Everyday he picked up more duties or figured out a better way to do something. He was particularly fond of playing with the children. He liked the idea of working with toys and kids but not so much with the parents. One of his favorite things to do was get all the kids running up and down the aisles shooting toy guns. None of the other adults seemed to enjoy this as much as he did, but the parents seemed somewhat grateful for the diversion. When the Manager came in he was always happy with Smitty’s improvements. He even asked Smitty if he had ever considered the toy business as a career. He gave some serious thought to this but dismissed the idea. He was laid off after the holidays but given a nice letter of recommendation by the store owner and manager. It was an experience he soon forgot. It was much later in life when he realized how misused and abused the term “laid off” was.
Chapter 14. Jewelry Store Sales Clerk
After being let go from the toy store, Smitty went next door to the Jewelry store and got hired immediately. The manager already new about Smitty before he even showed up. The manager of the toy store had already told him about how Smitty had straightened out his business and the jewelry store was already looking for part-time help. Remembering his past lessons, Smitty made sure the work was not seasonal and clarified the number of hours he would be working. He started right away working close to the same hours as the toy store and arriving each weekday after his afternoon economics class. The manager wanted him to learn everything about the business which suited Smitty perfectly. He did the bookkeeping again and helped with sales. He got very interested in repairing jewelry and learned a lot about diamonds from the store owner, who came by about once a month. He and the owner of the store hit it off right away and became quite close over time. He would always spend a great deal of time with Smitty on each of his visits. He told Smitty that he didn’t have any children so he was adopting Smitty. The guy was obviously quite rich so Smitty figured a close relationship with the guy was definitely in his best interest. Also, he really liked the jewelry business; the combination of sales, repairs and business management kept his interest. He was amazed at the difference between cost and mark-up in this business. He had learned about it in school but seeing it in a real business cemented the concept in his mind. Buy low, sell high; what a simple road to riches, he thought. It really demonstrated to him how gullible people are when it comes to certain commodities. He surmised that in general, people are always impressed with shiny things; especially jewelry and cars. He got very interested in the Gemology part of the business and spent time looking through the microscope. With help from the Owner he learned where various stones originated, what made them more or less valuable, and how he was able to purchase them. The owner traveled all over the world to find deals on stones. He had several stores. Smitty was impressed with the guy to the point of wanting to work his way into a position like his someday. He wondered if the guy might ultimately offer him a path to this end. After a while Smitty began to understand the overall business and learned that all Jewelry stores were not alike. In fact, the one he was working at was considered a cut rate operation because they sold on credit and resold non –jewelry items like stereos, TVs, radios and razors. The Store Manager had to do collections and re-possessions from customers. Smitty accompanied him on a few of these trips; usually to pretty rough neighborhoods. Smitty had wondered from the beginning why the store manager was employed because he didn’t seem to know much about running the business. After a couple trips with him he now knew; the guy was relentless and fearless where it came to collections and repos. Smitty was amazed at how most people faced with these actions were quite passive and understanding as the defaulted merchandise was carried out their door. The absolute worst situation was when they had to get wedding rings back. Smitty didn’t want anything to do with this, but the owner and manager both insisted that Smitty get exposed to this part of the business. Smitty had to give the Store Manager credit for always waiting till after the wedding and honeymoon to go after the rings. Smitty even begin to think that the store manager knew the people would not be able to pay for the rings when he sold them. He began to suspect that he was really lending the rings to the people because he had to know they were never going to make the payments. Over time Smitty got the feeling that the manager really cared about these people, which Smitty felt was commendable but not a good business practice.
After a few months at the store Smitty took over keeping the books. He already had experience with this at the toy store but it was a bit more complicated in the jewelry business. There was a lot more to keep track of and the value of the inventory was quite high. As before, Smitty was diligent at learning the current accounting system and tried to do a good job. This time however his diligence backfired; he began to discover inconsistencies with the cost and sales price on some items. He had learned that the displayed price for items was not necessarily what they would sell for. There was a coding system in place where all the jewelry items were marked with a letter and number on a small tag either on the box or actually fixed to the underside of the piece. Once you understood the system you could easily read the code and know what it cost and what the tier 1, 2, & 3 price levels were. So if a customer did not go for the displayed price, which was full retail, you could simply glance at the tag and know how much the discount levels were; usually something like 10%, 20%, 30% for most items. Diamond sales were trickier though and required more training to sell. Smitty was learning this but only the manager, assistant manager and owner were permitted to negotiate diamond prices. Over time Smitty noticed that the diamond sales made by the store manager were consistently at level 2 and 3 pricing as opposed to those made by the assistant manager and owner. At first he just chocked up the difference to the fact that the store manager sold more, but then one day Smitty happen to be coming out of the back office and overheard a conversation and handshake that did not sound or look right. He didn’t exactly hear or see anything wrong; it was more of a feeling he had that something wrong was going on. He wasn’t sure if the manager picked up on his suspicions but a couple days later he steered Smitty toward a great deal on a ring. It was a rather expensive Linde Star with an 18 carat gold setting inset with diamond chips. It retailed for $800 but the manager said Smitty could have it for $200. Smitty thought this was a little unusual but it was a hell of a deal, and the manager seemed to know what he was talking about all the time so he let it pass and took the ring. Too much later Smitty realized that the manager was trying to ingratiate himself to Smitty and he most likely had picked up on Smitty’s perception that something was amiss. It wasn’t till a few months later that Smitty figured out and witnessed exactly what was going on. During a few collection trips Smitty noticed that the manager had a pretty close relationship with several of the customers; almost like they were friends. After a few of these trips Smitty looked at the open accounts more closely and discovered that the same people he seemed to be friendly with had purchased a number of items at the store with cash and credit. It didn’t take him long to figure out that the manager was giving great deals to people in return for favors or maybe even cash kickbacks. He wasn’t sure how elaborate the whole thing was, but he was sure now this was going on. Before he found out more about these activities the store manager and assistant manager were both let go by the owner. Smitty suspected that both were involved in padding and skimming profits and taking kickbacks from colluding customers. The owner came in to run the store and offered Smitty the Store Manager’s job. Smitty refused the job due to his school schedule but agreed to stay on until a suitable replacement could be found for the ex-manager. Smitty ended up taking the assistant managers job, training a new manager and working there for a good part of his second year of college. Throughout his life Smitty remembers this experience because it taught him a valuable lesson; he really liked the jewelry store manager and assistant manager and almost followed them out the door the day they got fired. He even went down to the bar around the corner with them and sat for a while as they trashed the owner and the operation and attempted to justify their crooked dealings with platitudes about their low pay and the ridiculous money that the owner was making at their expense. Fortunately, Smitty saw this for what it was and went back to the store and his job. Once again Smitty learned a valuable lesson; “Don’t follow the crowd when it comes to your job/career, it is every man/woman for themselves.’
Chapter 15. Desk Clerk and Night Auditor
Partially through his sophomore year of college Smitty decided he could take more classes and finish his degree faster by working nights. He was very good at bookkeeping by now so he applied for a job at a big hotel with restaurant and banquet facilities. He got a job as the night desk clerk and after a brief training period took over the night auditing. The job fit perfectly with his college studies because he worked at night and could easily do his homework while on the job. The hotel had a well stocked magazine and paper rack that provided Smitty with all the source material he needed to write papers and keep up with the stock market and current events. There was a good adding machine and typewriter there and his supervisor was a long time accountant. She knew the business inside and out and was a very good accountant. He learned a tremendous amount about running a business from her. She was his first mentor. Her name was Ellie. She had a precise way about her. She was a very attractive lady in her mid forties with a good sense of humor and a nurturing manner. She was always impeccably dressed and wore her long thick gray hair up on her head in a perfect bun. She taught Smitty the real side of accounting rather than the practice sets he had experienced at school. Later in life Smitty used those manual books of Ellie’s to explain bookkeeping to new computer users who had no real clue what keeping books was about. In addition to Ellie’s business tutoring, the owner of the business also took an interest in Smitty’s development. His training was very opposite of Ellie’s; while she was the consummate organizer and detail person, he was the chaotic wheeler dealer rogue. His name; Norm, was far from “the norm”. He had a presence that tended to take over the space around him and everybody in it. He was about 6 ½ feet tall and 280 pounds. When he was in his office he was always on the phone talking very loud. He had an un-intentional way of undermining everything Ellie worked so hard to keep under control. She seemed to tolerate and like him for reasons Smitty would not understand until later in life. He spent money and wouldn’t tell her about until way beyond when he should have. He booked big time expensive entertainment like Phyllis Diller, Fabian and Buddy Rich to name a few. He liked to have his picture taken with the many celebrities he brought in to entertain. The walls of the entranceway to the restaurant were covered with autographed pictures of him posing with famous entertainers that he booked over the years. He drove an enormous yellow Cadillac convertible and wore three-piece suits in outlandish colors like yellow and purple. Smitty learned the big game from him. He observed as Norm hold back payment for some things while he purchased others; and not small things either. One time he passed on his hotel mortgage for almost a year and used the money to build an office building across the street from the hotel. When the hotel went into receivership due to the unpaid debt Norm used the equity from the new office building to get the money to buy back the hotel at auction for half the valued market price. After that he used the new found equity in the hotel to finance the purchase of a luxury apartment complex. Somehow, he also managed to finagle the cost of two new engines for his yacht out of that deal; a maneuver Smitty was absolutely amazed at.
Between Ellie, Norm and his college studies, Smitty was really getting a business education. Mary Kay wasn’t too happy about the hours, but she knew this was a terrific opportunity to fast forward Smitty’s education. What she didn’t know or could not even imagine at the time is that Smitty would end up loving the hotel business so much. Smitty worked at the hotel in various positions until he graduated from college. He was young and there were girls everywhere and in no time he was deep in the throws of a sort of underworld that consumed him. After a while, he came to know everyone in town that was in the restaurant hotel/motel and bar business. He drove the hotel owners Cadillac around like it was his and began dressing in nicer clothes. The owner had fixed him up with a luxury poolside apartment as part of his salary and he began golfing and hanging out with a fast crowd.
He liked the hotel business so much he even took a hotel management correspondence course. He intended to stay in the hotel business for life. This was the career he had always dreamed of. He planned and looked forward to moving into management some day; maybe even run a large resort hotel. Unfortunately, Mary had other ideas. The hotel business just did not fit in with family life the way Mary Kay defined it. Smitty also realized this but was enjoying the job so much he tried to ignore Mary’s pleas to go forward as they had planned after Smitty’s graduation. After long and painful discussions Smitty finally promised he would find another career path. This turned Smitty in directions he couldn’t possibly imagine at the time but he loved Mary Kay with all his heart and even though he was having the best time in his life she was more important than the job.
Chapter 16. Auto Parts Salesman
As promised Smitty began an extensive search for employment again. He had his Associates degree now so he hoped this would help him land something professional that would offer him a bigger salary and benefits. He really wanted to please Mary and show her that he could take on a more responsible job that fit in with being a "family man". He applied for positions all over town but jobs were pretty scarce. After a couple months of searching he got two offers that seemed promising: Financial Analyst for a Savings and Loan company and Auto Parts Salesman for a five county area in Ohio. The Analyst position turned out to be long hours for a very small salary but the sales job (despite his previous encounters with sales) seemed very promising. It offered a nice salary and benefits and a nice commission incentive. It was also packaged in such a way that it was like running your own business which made it very attractive to Smitty. There was no investment on his part except for establishing an office at home and they provided six months paid training. He took the job. He and Mary moved into a new apartment with an extra room for an office. They finally had a formal wedding ceremony, and after a brief honeymoon, Smitty went to work selling auto parts. He was following two experienced people that had been working the five county sales route he was assuming. The older of the two had retired from the business after 32 years. The younger guy had only been working the older man’s sales route for 2 years but seem to know the job well. He was leaving the business, but had nothing bad to say about it. In fact, he thought it was a great opportunity, but said he had to move to California for personal reasons. He even gave Smitty his desk, filing cabinet, promotional items and other office equipment that Smitty would have had to purchase himself. The job required quite a bit of driving each week so Smitty decided that an economic vehicle was needed. He bought a new Honda Civic with a hatch back that would hold sample parts and other sales gear. The job mostly had him calling on auto dealerships and replenishing fastener inventory, but he also had to present new products to Parts and Service Managers. He lugged a couple really large heavy books with him everywhere he went and struggled a little at first trying to find things that people would ask about. The books were cross referenced to ease searching by multiple descriptions but there were thousands of items, so getting fast at finding items and their alternates was difficult to learn. Smitty quickly found out that Service Managers didn’t have a lot of patience with this. Most of them had been working with the old salesman of thirty years who knew all the product by heart and could give immediate answers to questions, and provide alternates quickly. Smitty had to check with the home office a great deal of the time and the Managers would not wait for him. Instead, they would call their local parts store and get their parts delivered a few hours later or within a day or two. In most cases Smitty could have taken care of their needs for less money and delivered just as quickly, but perception was reality for the Service Managers. Because of this, Smitty put a lot of thought into how he might compete better with the local parts stores. One of which was to quickly memorize over five thousand line items and the tiered pricing for them. Ironically, later in life Smitty became part of the "local jobber" business with their little blue and yellow trucks running all over town.
After a month or so Smitty had his new job down to a comfortable routine. He visited different cities in the five counties on different days and for the most part wrote a steady stream of orders not unlike his predecessors. Driving around and dragging the heavy books was a bit grueling but he enjoyed working with the people he encountered. He was working a five-day week which was running about 12 hours a day. This seemed quite reasonable after the hotel/restaurant or maintenance business which seemed to consume every waking hour. After a couple months though, Smitty began to tire of the job. It wasn’t the long hours, heavy books or driving that got to him, it was the income ups and downs. He began to realize that the business he had inherited was considered “up for grabs” by his competition. As one Parts Manager put it; “when Mr. Steen retired a lot of his devotees changed teams” This was the first time Smitty heard this but not the last. Soon, he knew he was going to have to work very hard at maintaining his customer base. He had big regular customers that had extensive bins and racks that his company had provided and that he kept stocked on a weekly basis. These were painted with his company color which was blue. Until now this equipment was considered a permanent part of the service departments it had resided in for many years. Smitty was astonished when he visited his first big customer and the cabinets had been replaced by his biggest competitors green ones. In addition to this blow he was finding more of his customers buying items locally for higher prices just because it was convenient, delivery was quick, and they did not have to keep as much stock on hand. Smitty knew he was going to have to counter these business losses by simultaneously finding new customers and schmoozing the old ones; both efforts requiring him to invest more time and money. After six months of trying to maintain positive cash flow Smitty accepted a more lucrative and stable sales position with another company.
next post
Chapter 17. Public Relations Account Representative
Smitty’s mother came surprisingly to his rescue when he complained at dinner one evening that his sales job was just not working out. His Mom was a formable businesswoman in her own right and had a very good understanding of most businesses. Before retiring she had had three complete careers, traveled in sales and started several businesses. She told Smitty that she was acquainted with a man and woman who were very successful selling public relations packages; and if Smitty was interested she would contact them. Mom to the rescue Smitty thought as he said “yes please”. So a few weeks later Smitty met Mr. Farnsworth for the first time; ironically at the hotel/ where he used to work. He checked in at the front desk and was told Mr. Farnsworth was running late and asked if he would secure a table for them in the restaurant lounge. The table Smitty picked was normally a quiet one toward the back of the lounge but because Mr. Farnsworth was now an hour late the cocktail hour had arrived and the place had filled up. When he arrived at the other side of the lounge Smitty immediately knew it was him by the description his Mom had given him. He was of average height and build but his bearing was that of a much bigger man. He had a well-tailored business suit on that seemed to sparkle a little. Despite the huge cigar in his mouth he was smiling from ear to ear. He seemed to know everybody in the room; stopping at several tables and chatting as he made his way to me. As Smitty rose to his feet his first thought was that he was meeting with a celebrity or public figure like a senator or congressman. “Jack Farnsworth” he stated as his hand shot out. You must be Joe; I’ve heard a lot about you; the cigar and smile never leaving his face. He had a sophisticated southern accent that due to the cigar made his voice sound like a cross between Foghorn Leghorn and Thurston Howell III; it matched his bearing and looks perfectly. He was so charismatic that Smitty took an immediate liking to him. Obviously this was the case with everyone who met Jack because Smitty found out later that he didn’t know a soul in that room. He was in fact “polished”; a term Smitty would come to know quite well in the future.
Smitty learned that Mr. Farnsworth had a sales force of about thirty individuals that had come to him over the years from sales management positions in fortune 500 companies mostly on the eastern seaboard. In fact, his company was called Public Relations Institute North Atlantic. Jack wanted Smitty to meet some of them as soon as possible so he arranged for several of his top people to come to the hotel the following week. Jack rented a suite and conducted a sales meeting with them while also introducing Smitty as a potential candidate for what he kept referring to as the “great experiment”. The following week Smitty met with Mr. Farnsworth’s number one; an ex-Vice President of sales with Proctor and Gamble that had been with him for over ten years. Smitty felt like a little kid working newspaper collections in the presence of the guy. When he introduced himself he went right into an unexpected sales pitch that lasted about 8-10 minutes; at the end of which Smitty began fishing in his suit pocket for the business card that the man was requesting. It took him a minute to realize that this was a sample pitch; but it was so compelling that for a moment he totally became the sales prospect. After that, Smitty met two other of Jack’s sales people who were as equally sharp as Tom. He then met briefly with Jack who simply bid him farewell and asked him if he thought he could be a salesman like those he had just met. Before Smitty could answer Jack removed the cigar from his mouth and in a George Burns manner said “think about it”
A week after this unusual interview experience, Smitty was contacted by Mr. Farnsworth’s wife. She asked Smitty if he could come to a training seminar she was conducting at a resort not far away. Smitty was so impressed by his experience so far he jumped at the chance to see and understand more.
Smitty took the day off and showed up at the resort a week later. He was greeted by Mrs. Farnsworth in the lobby. She escorted him to a large conference room with about 10- 12 people present. All had folders in front of them. There was coffee, water and donuts on a back table, which reminded Smitty of Mary Kay and her first Amway presentation. He hoped whatever this was would turn out better. Most of the people in the room were 10-20 years older than Smitty except one who looked even younger than he. Mrs. Farnsworth called the group to order and everyone went about the room introducing themselves. Smitty had taken a seat next to the young man, who looked as overwhelmed by all this as Smitty felt. Mrs. Farnsworth introduced herself as Nina and asked everybody to call her that. She was a beautiful woman. She looked Brazilian; dark hair, penetrating green eyes, sharp features, perfect petite build. She had the same friendly confident manner and southern charm as her husband; maybe even more so. She began by giving the exact same sales pitch he had heard from Salesman Tom at the hotel. When she finished, everyone in the room including Smitty was reaching in their pockets for the requested business card. After the presentation she explained that five people in the room would be offered a position with the company the next day. At that point Jack magically appeared and began a speech Smitty will never forget. The first thing he did was climb up on the conference room table which definitely got the groups attention. Then he began to talk about how he had started in the business selling bibles, telephone book covers, and many other things as a young man. By the time he was finished Smitty’s only ambition in life was to be one of the chosen few of the day and move ahead with what Jack referred to as this magical day in your life. Nina took over after this and put us all through exercises in walking, speaking, drawing, dressing, use of our hands, facial expressions and things as simple as where to park your car on a sales visit and how to approach different types of people like receptionists, managers and VIPs. Everyone was required to give a ten-minute presentation at the end of the day that was video-taped.
The next day Nina called Smitty and informed him that he was the lucky recipient of the best job on the planet. Smitty accepted immediately and promised to start in two weeks as requested by her.
Two weeks later Smitty received a check in the mail for $300. He had not worked yet so this was a big surprise. A couple days later one of the business managers from PR North Atlantic called to confirm he had received the check. Smitty asked the man if he knew when he was supposed to report for work. The manager simply told him to be patient; Jack will call eventually. Eventually turned out to be three weeks and two three-hundred dollar checks later. Smitty reported to Jack at a hotel in a small town in eastern Ohio and began training with him and Nina. He was very surprised that they were taking such a personal interest in him. The other young man Don from the sales interview meeting was also there. Smitty soon found out what the “great experiment” was. The company had never tried young college graduates for sales positions before but Jack believed we would have some appeal to his clients. Don and Smitty were young guinea pigs! He quickly found out that Mr. and Mrs. Farnsworth had every intention of molding both of them into selling machines. This really offered Smitty the polish he needed to make what he now had come to know as the big time business game. He came to find out that Jack’s sales people were all making over $100K a year. The Farnsworth’s put Smitty in beautiful clothes and grilled him on how to walk and talk. He learned how to present himself as rich and successful. They honed his presentation skills to a razors edge with practice, practice, and practice. They taught him how to set up in a city, do the research required, seek out the leading business people and wrap up the sales process in less than two weeks. After five weeks of paid employment Jack proclaimed him ready. He and Don were assigned a small town to work. After the first week they had made five sales. Jack met them in the lobby of the hotel late Friday evening and paid them their commissions and expenses in cash. He liked motivating his people this way when he was close to the target cities. This was without a doubt the greatest experience and education Smitty had ever had or even imagined. The public relations package Smitty had been highly trained to sell was what Jack referred to as a “soft sell PR program”. It was designed to target only the most prominent businesses in communities. Smitty was pitching Bank Presidents, Owners of Insurance Real Estate and Real Estate firms, Department Store Owners and other executives. When Jack was around he would pay Smitty in cash; hundreds and fifties all counted right out in his hand. Some weeks this was to the tune of $1500; plus every week he would get that nice check for $300 whether he did anything or not. The whole experience was surreal to Smitty. In fact, it made him very nervous when he would not make any sales and Jack had to send in a more experienced person. “Tough towns” he called them. There was also a physical thing going on that Smitty was hoping would end at some point but so far it hadn’t; he was vomiting every morning due to nerves. He would get so nervous before starting the sales day that he would be physically shaking. He talked to the other young man Don about this and found out that he too was having some difficulty with his nerves and attributed this to not being taken seriously by the high level sales prospects they were engaging with. Smitty went and talked to Jack about this and even though Jack reassured him he would get better after a while Smitty saw a glimmer in his eyes that indicated it might not. A month later at a hotel in Cincinnati, Ohio Smitty informed Mr. Farnsworth that he did not think he was cut out for the job. The disappointment in Jack and Nina’s eyes that day will be with him the rest of his life. Jack and Nina had become like parents to him. They were right up there with the great positive people Smitty had read about like Carnegie and Nightingale and he had them as personal trainers. If only he had not been so young and impatient he thought. What an opportunity. He learned his biggest business lesson to date; there is a price to be paid when you play in the “big game”. Time to return home to Mary and decide what to do next.
Chapter 18. Insurance Salesman to Gas Station Attendant
Back home and in a state of shock Smitty was losing confidence in himself. By the same token he did realize that he had experienced, the best sales training anyone could ask for. He knew he could run a business because he had done so successfully before. He wasn’t lazy; in fact he liked to work. It just seemed like things were not going his way so naturally he began doubting his abilities. He felt like he needed a confidence boost. He was combing the papers for a job when an advertisement jumped out at him: “Increase your income, learn to speak effectively, prepare for leadership”. Dale Carnegie Institute. He had Public Relations Institute under his belt, why not Dale Carnegie as well. He called the number and signed up for a fourteen week course. He attended the first night class the following week. There were about thirty people there with him, all eager to improve their life. Smitty thought it odd that so many successful looking people were there. Perhaps others had the same issue as he; maybe they needed a jump start to get back on track in their business or career. Whatever the case Smitty was intent on adding all thirty attendees to his personal network no matter how the seminar worked out. He had heard about Carnegie before and read one of his early books but he was not prepared for what unfolded before him over the next couple months of sessions. He witnessed people who could barely speak or look you in the eye turn into eloquent speakers. He watched with amazement while people with no self esteem or confidence come out of their shell. Many of the people that were unemployed at the beginning of the course had landed good jobs with great companies by the last session. After the course was over Smitty was a changed man. He thought he was pretty polished after his last position but what he now knew he lacked was a truly positive attitude and confidence. He liked Dale Carnegie so much and believed in the program so completely that he stayed with it as a Graduate Assistant for two more courses. During this time Smitty also found a new career; he decided to combine his entrepreneurial skills with his sales training and open his own insurance office serving his local community. With his new found confidence he was sure he could build a successful business now. He researched several insurance companies that worked his area and got an interview with a leading organization that was looking for someone local to take over the territory. By now, Smitty knew the right questions to ask about a businesses potential, so after an extensive review by him and the potential employer, he signed on. Once again he worked from his own home office and operated in an independent manner. He only had to visit the home office once a month for sales meetings and to turn in his numbers. It was a terrific opportunity to become part of the community and the work was simple to him. He had to collect premiums from some of the insured that were not yet mailing in, so it was a great way to get leads on potential sales prospects. He spent his days driving around and chatting with folks that were more than happy to help him find new customers. In the evening after dinner he would go out for a couple hours and follow-up on his leads, or conduct presentations to a confirmed appointments he had made earlier in the day. It was a very easy job that fit Smittys personality and his previous experience perfectly. He worked happily in the position for about a year, then the bottom dropped out of everything. The country had moved into a recession; two of the biggest local manufacturers laid off hundreds of workers. One factory closed. The town seemed to be drying up before Smitty’s eyes. He made less money every week until he was making almost nothing. Customers on the collection route he was working were not paying their premiums. He was paying several of them himself for a while hoping they would be able to catch up rather than lose their insurance. Even his mail-in customers were lapsing their policies. Within six months he threw in the towel himself. He took a job as a gas station attendant while he figured out what to do next. With all his experience to date Smitty was the best Gas Station Attendant in the world. He went straight from the Insurance Agency to the gas station, got a job on the spot and started the next day. He had just stopped for gas but over the last year he had bought all his gas and maintenance done there and knew ,the Owners son quite well. He was one of the few patrons they would even cash a check for which was why he started getting his gas there in the first place. They paid him a $100 a week in cash. Not bad for an interim job he thought. He had a lot of fun pumping gas and cleaning windshields Most people were just amazed at the service they were getting and he pulled in a bit of new business. He kept the place immaculate too because he was a natural worker bee type. The Owner and his son both liked him and wanted him to get involved more in the business but Smitty made sure they knew he was only there temporarily. Smitty did realize that it was the kind of job that a person could do forever because the customer was right there in front of you. It was a satisfying feeling he thought, but he knew he had to do something more. He wanted to go back to something he truly loved and that was the hotel and restaurant business. Mary was not happy about this. Smitty was stubborn about it and so was she. They had this argument many times before but this time was final. Mary said she would not continue in the relationship if he went back to the business and he insisted that this was and always had been the right path for him. Smitty thought Mary Kay would come around eventually but she did not. They were divorced a year later.
Chapter 19. Maitre D’ Restaurant
Fortunately Smitty was able to get back to work at the hotel he loved because he still had a good relationship with the owner. Unfortunately, front office work was not available but Norm felt like Smitty would do well in the restaurant. He and the chef were thinking of introducing a more upscale menu and bringing on a Maitre D’ and Wine Steward in an attempt to bring a more classy atmosphere to the place. They were already bringing in better entertainment and even had a house band now. They were attempting to emulate the big city hotel venues. Smitty figured in order to move on to bigger and better resort hotels he should learn the food and beverage business. He had completed the hotel management course and learned the administrative side of the business, but he knew very little about the restaurant and banquet business. He knew that when the opportunity came for him to move on this experience would play well on his resume. The hotel did have a great restaurant, lounge, and party/ banquet facilities so it was a perfect way for him to get the experience he needed without starting at the bottom. The Restaurant Manager, Chef and Owner gave him the opportunity to learn the restaurant business. He was lucky enough to start out well above the average worker. The owner and manager decided that he was going to be their first Maitre D’ Restaurant. Smitty had no idea what that meant at the time but he liked and respected the General Manager so he followed his and the Chef’s lead and began learning the business. He was into his third week of training when the Restaurant Manager Mr. Cunningham disappeared. Smitty always thought that Mr. Cunningham spent an awful lot of time upstairs in one of the suites playing poker or talking with the local bookie who hung out in the lounge. Apparently he either suddenly got a better offer or he was made to go away by one of his associates. Whatever the reason he was missing and the owner asked Smitty to take over managing the operation until he could find a replacement. This was baptism by fire for Smitty who up until three weeks ago had never been in a restaurant for any reason other than to eat. Once again it was time for quick learning. Smitty worked closely with Issac the Chef and learned quite a bit about food purchasing and preparation. Issac was a retired Navy cook that had continued his culinary career working at big hotels and restaurant in New York City. He had come to town because his aging Mother was ailing. He ended up staying for several years to take care of her. The hotel was fortunate to get him as their head chef and Smitty was even more fortunate to be in the right place at the right time and learn from him. Smitty and Issac developed a sort of pack; Smitty provided however much Brandy Issac need without question, and Issac helped him with what he didn’t know about the restaurant business, which was basically everything. He taught him food purchasing, preparation, and presentation. Issac’s mantra was “smells good, looks good, tastes good”; he claimed that if you got any two right you had a winner every time. Smitty came to believe this as the owner continually cut food costs presenting Issac with the challenge of providing a superior cuisine with inferior quality ingredients. In addition to teaching Smitty the food side of the business, Issac also ran interference with the rest of the restaurant staff who basically thought Smitty should be kicked out of the place immediately due to his lack of experience. Thanks to Issac and his general tenacity Smitty not only stayed on, he eventually learned every task from bussing and waiting on tables, breaking down the coffee machine, running the dishwasher etc. He was not afraid to do every job and he soon gained the respect of the staff. He went on to manage the restaurant for six months before a professional manager was hired to take over. By that time he could cook, bus tables, wait on tables, bartend and put on a show flaming dishes tableside. He had talked the Owner into allowing him to run a tab so he could buy drinks for the prominent and regular customers and take care of incidentals; like picking up somebody’s check when everything went wrong. Something he learned was inevitable in the daily course of running a restaurant. He also became the Wine Steward during this time. He read a book on wines and kept a handy pocket guide so he could come across quickly at tablesides with things like growing seasons, geography, and grape names. Most gentlemen followed his lead to impress their ladies and he got big tips from them. He was making a lot of money by then. There was also a card game going in house almost every night and he made good tips arranging food and drinks for them. He learned to rely on the busmen and waiters and tipped them himself so that they would work to support his efforts. Thanks to the efforts of the owner there was also a steady stream of live entertainment going on. There was a house band three nights a week that he had to cater to. On weekends Smitty would see to the requirements of the big name entertainment and supervise the staff working the five party rooms. There were big names coming in every month or so that consumed Smitty’s time but he loved it. There were well known entertainers like Frank Sinatra Jr., Phyllis Diller, Count Basey, Fabian, Stan Kenton, Buddy Rich, Maynard Ferguson, The Four Lads, Jerry Van Dyke, and many more that pulled in huge crowds. Some of the bigger bands required elaborate sets and rearrangement of room layouts. Smitty had to work with their roadies to get everything taken care of for what was most always a one-night stand. Then he had to get the place back in order for regular business after the weekend. He was constantly working with hotel and restaurant staff and outside contractors to get things done. It was a lot of work but Smitty enjoyed meeting the celebrities and catering to their needs. Once he sat at a table in the lounge on a Saturday afternoon, had a drink, and chatted with the famous Frank Gorshen. Another time he rode around with The Four Lads in their party bus and played his guitar to their endless antics in their hotel suite. Another time, he went out at 3AM to get a burnt black chicken for Phyliss Diller. On one occasion, he personally took room service to George Burns and Mr. Burns wanted to buy the suit he was wearing. He even made a second offer for it later in the night so Smitty believed he really wanted his suit. There were many instances like this over the years that Smitty came to love. He was truly enamored with the hotel, restaurant and entertainment business. Despite the amount ofwork involved’ he couldn’t wait till the next big engagement. He was lost in the business and dreamed of the day he could move up to a big city hotel or resort facility.
Thanks to the owners contacts at the largest bank in town Smitty was able to get a good stockbroker, secure a nice credit line and move forward with his life without Mary Kay. Life’s lessons continued for Smitty, this being his toughest one to date; “nothing is for ever” and “you have to follow your passions”
Chapter 20. Front Office Manager
The hiring of the new restaurant manager brought on many changes that did not fit with Smitty’s ambitions. Even though he was thoroughly familiar with all aspects of the business, at this point he was viewed by the new manager and the owner of the business as a young man without experience. Smitty knew that his only hope was to get his resume in front of a bigger chain outfit so he could move up. He went and talked to the owner about this. To his surprise, Norm gave him high praise for what he had accomplished and gave him a raise and new job on the spot. Later Smitty realized that this was typical Norm methodology, but at the time he was so stunned he just said "thank you". He was now the Front Office Manager; new title, better pay. In this position he was able to move all over the hotel and restaurant freely and take care of whatever needed to be done. He worked more with the owner on banquet planning and big entertainment needs. He partnered with the new restaurant manager and became quite close to him. Even though he at first thought his career was flailing, he now realized that he was pretty much working in a General Manager role. He wished he could have this title now because he had learned early on that your title was key. He could only hope his efforts would lead to this soon and he would get the opportunity to move on to the big hotel dream he coveted. Unfortunately, this was not to be; within three months of getting his promotion the owner brought in a hotel manager to run the overall operation. Smitty was devastated by this but continued to try to do his job. He was asked by the owner to show the new manager the ropes and he reluctantly cooperated. In six months Norm drove the new hotel manager nuts and he quit leaving Smitty holding the reins once again. This situation repeated itself during the following six months with another new manager and another desertion. Still, Smitty could not convince the owner that he was capable of running the operation as General Manager. On top of the hotel manager turnovers, the overall business was falling off because a new hotel had been built downtown that was pulling a great deal of the regular hotel guests. Apparently, Norm was up to his old tricks again but Ellie and Smitty figured he would turn things around like he always did. At least they felt this way until the federal marshals showed up and padlocked Norm’s office door. A few weeks later Norm filed bankruptcy. Everyone continued working like nothing had changed, but the entire place was on pins and needles for two months until the word was passed down that the place was being saved by purchase. A large chain outfit bought the entire operation and prohibited it from going completely under. Smitty personally took the news as his opportunity to move up with a large hotel/restaurant chain and did everything he could to help the new organization succeed, including breaking in what was now the third hotel manager. The new company also sent in a General Manager and replaced the existing restaurant manager. Smitty realized that had he been promoted to any of these positions he would now be out of work and his career ambitions over. After a few months of “sucking up” to the new management Smitty presented a detailed resume to the new General Manager and asked if he could be considered by the chain for a management position at one of their many facilities. He didn’t care where they sent him, he just wanted an opportunity to move up in the business. After this conversation and a few weeks later, the manager assured Smitty that he was being considered for the next available position at one of their premier location in Cincinnati Ohio. Every month Smitty inquired about how long it might take for him to get into the management program and each month the GM would tell him to be patient. This went on for nine months before Smitty realized that it was probably not going to happen. Even though he had close to four years experience and had his hotel management certificate he was not in their eyes a real candidate. Later in life Smitty realized that this was a case of perception equaling reality and the reality in the eyes of the chain outfit saw him as a desk clerk at a small town hotel that went bankrupt! When the GM told him he had not heard anything for what had to be the ninth or tenth time Smitty did something that he had never done before. He walked out the door without a word, thought about Mary Kay for a moment, and headed for the closest bar.
The day Smitty walked off from his Hotel Front Office Manager job he went directly to his favorite bar thinking he might get a job there while he thought about what to do next. As he ordered an early morning shot and beer and asked the bartender when the owner would be in, he thought to himself how he was back in transition again; similar he mused to pumping gas after being a somewhat prominent business person in the community. He chuckled to himself about the look on some of his previous insurance clients who pulled in the station for gas and found him as their attendant! The words of his Mother came to mind again “a job is a job”. It was about 9AM and Smitty was sitting at the bar alone pondering all this when a guy about his age came in and sat down a couple stools from him. After a few minutes the man struck up a conversation with the bartender that eventually revealed that the man had been working in Oklahoma on oil rigs and planned to go back there after he took care of some personal things locally. Smitty became quite interested in what the man was saying and joined in the conversation with questions about the guy’s experience. Smitty spent the rest of the morning drinking and chatting with the fellow. He learned all about how the guy had gotten the job and what working on an oil rig was like. The man was full of information about how he got along with people there and offered tips on do’s and don’ts when Smitty expressed an interest in trying it himself. Smitty became so fascinated by the whole story that he kept asking more and more about it until he really had a good picture of the work and atmosphere. This was Wednesday morning. The following Saturday Smitty left Ohio bound for Elk City, Oklahoma to seek his next job working in the Oil Fields. When he arrived there he was confronted by a busy town with a housing shortage. He found a not so nice motel room after a long first day search and settled in. Because of his previous sales training in Public Relations he knew he had the advantage of knowing how to “work a town:” The next day he found the Chamber of Commerce, got a map of the city and chatted with as many people as he could about the job market and housing situation. He was referred to the local employment office and registered there next. He then asked the motel if he could buy some of their business cards. They happily gave him a big handful for free and told him if he needed more he could have all he wanted. Apparently they had plenty with little use for them because they seemed elated that Smitty wanted them. Smitty took the cards to his room, sat at the desk and wrote his name and room extension number on about twenty of them. He then set off on a mission of getting to know people. He spent the rest of his first day canvassing all the businesses on Main Street which was actually US Route 66 which ran right through the town. As he walked he thought about an old TV show "Route 66". He remembered some of the lyrics from the theme song “get your kicks on route 66……” or something like that. Was he getting any kicks at the moment he mused? He had done enough today he thought; time to find a local bar he could call his own. There definitely was no shortage of bars in this town. There seemed to be one about every half a block or less. Some were right next to each other with a diner on either side. Apparently, working, eating and drinking were the main activities he thought. By the time Smitty got back to his motel room that night he already had two important messages. His business cards and first day activities were already paying off. He had a lead on a job and one of the merchants he had visited; a nice old lady who’s son worked at the local newspaper said she might be able to help him find an apartment. He was really exited about the apartment prospect because so far he had learned that it was next to impossible to find one. From what he had been told, there were workers that had been living in motel rooms for a year because housing was practically non-existent. He returned both calls first thing in the morning. The employment office asked him to come in to talk about a possible job with a Casing company. Smitty did not know exactly what that meant but he intended to find out. He went to the office immediately to meet with the counselor he had spoken with. The employment guy filled him in on all the details of a possible job working for what he touted as a one of the better companies to work for. He explained that most of the jobs in the oil fields were average paying, but the one he was sending Smitty to provided above average pay, good benefits and a better working environment. He also stated that they were very selective about who they hired so Smitty should not get his hopes up to high on getting the job; it was just an interview he said; but it could lead to something. If it was one thing Smitty knew and had been trained to do was sell himself. He was offered the job on the spot. He was to report the following day to meet his team and go out on his first job. He was given a list of the work clothes he would need most of which he had brought with him thanks to the conversation he had with his bar buddy back home. He showed up at 6AM the following morning as instructed. The parking lot outside the company’s garage and offices was busy with guys unloading plastic milk crates, coolers and duffels filled with food, drink and extra clothes. Smitty had his rubber boots, insulated coveralls, gloves and watch cap in a duffel bag and a small black lunch pail; (the kind with the thermos in the lid) His lunch consisted of two baloney sandwiches, an apple a pack of hostess cupcakes and the thermos which had hot coffee in it. When his new team members saw the small duffle and lunch pail the leader of the group ask him to get the rest of his stuff loaded up. When Smitty replied “that’s it” the team leader and other three guys started laughing. Smitty understood the joke better fifteen hours later when he was wet and out of food and drink with at least fifteen more hours to go on the job. At the end of this first job Smitty began to think he would not be able to do this work. When he and his team were rigging their equipment down from the derrick to their trucks he was so battered and sore he did not think he could even help; but something stubborn inside of him made him go on despite his aching fingers and limp legs. He was sure the guys knew he was beaten but he did his best to make it through the down-rigging and truck loading. When it was all done and they were about to leave the team leader snapped his fingers and said “shit, we left the balance chain up there” as he pointed at the derrick. Smitty, run up there and get it". Smitty didn’t even know what a balance chain was but he couldn’t say no to the team leader or he knew he’d be out. So he asked him where it was and was told that the driller would show him when he got up there. Smitty went back up the many steps to the drilling platform, found the driller and asked him where the balance chain was. The driller pointed up at the first cross girder and said “that’s it wrapped around the girder up there. Smitty realized at that moment that he had been set up. In order to get that chain he was going to have to go up the ladder to the first girt and untangle that chain and bring it back down the ladder. Hell, it probably weighed twenty pounds! First he was reminded that he had a fear of heights due to a sixty foot fall as a child which his team mates of course had no knowledge of. Secondly, even if he did make it up there successfully he would never be able to untangle that long heavy chain. He looked down from the drilling platform at his co-workers who were all standing by the trucks looking up at him. He was going to have to go down there and tell them that he was not capable of going up there and getting that chain. Then he got mad those bastards had set him up to fail. He buckled on his safety belt, got on the ladder and climbed up to the tangled chain. He froze at the top realizing he would have to take the belt off in order to lean out far enough to untangle the thing. The wind was blowing. He looked at his team members and thought he could see the smirks on their faces although this may have been his imagination. He got madder; pulled off the safety belt, untangled the chain, put his belt back on, doubled the chain over and threw it over his shoulder. He started down the ladder without thinking about the extra weight of the chain which was driving him down the ladder faster then he wanted to go. The weight was catching up with him until halfway down he was hitting the rungs of the ladder way to fast. In his worn out condition he didn’t have the strength to slow his decent, so each step came faster until he was practically falling by the time he got to the last five rungs. He landed hard on the derrick floor with the chain on top of him. The driller and a few others ran over to check him for injuries and help him up. By now he was steaming mad, yelling obscenities and telling those around him to leave him alone. He managed to get up, throw the chain back over his shoulder and make his way down the derrick steps to the trucks below. By this time his team were all inside the trucks. He tossed the chain into the back of the truck with all the might and noise he could muster. He got into the back of the truck and slammed the door as hard as he could. There was complete silence and it stayed that way until they were away from the job site and out onto the main road. Finally, the team leader says “Any trouble with that chain Smitty?” Smitty replied “no problem”. The team then broke out in laughter and the team leader said “welcome aboard Yankee”. Smitty was officially a Caser. He logged his first job at 32 hours on site and 2 hours travel time. He had made $159.88; the most money he had ever made in the shortest amount of time. It was also the most tired and hungry he had ever been. When it was over he felt like someone had beaten the hell out of him. He was bruised in several places, had sprained an ankle and he was so stiff by the time he got back to his motel room he couldn’t even take his clothes off. He felt like he had played tackle football in gravel with no pads. He so wanted to take a shower because his skin and clothes were basically encrusted with the special metal infused mud that he was told they used to keep down the “underground explosive gases”. He knew that even if he could somehow manage to get his clothes off he would never be able to get in the tub/shower anyway, so he just fell onto the bed as is and passed out. He woke up eight hours later to a phone call from his new company telling him he had a new job to go out on the next morning at 6AM. He was advised that this job was going to be a little longer so be prepared for thirty six hours minimum. He needed to go to the store, buy a large duffel bag, double gloves, thicker socks, a big plastic orange crate and cooler and a shit-load of food and drink. Smitty’s other message that he had not yet responded to was from the old lady he had left his card with and spoken to during his initial canvassing activities. She had talked to her son at the newspaper and said she or he would give Smitty a heads up for any apartments that were going to be advertised in the paper before it came out. Since the paper was weekly she said this would give him an edge. Once again the power of talking to people face to face paid off for Smitty. He landed a one bedroom apartment a week later and stayed friends with the old lady and her son until the day he left the area.
Smitty discovered that running casing was nothing short of a miracle job. He did things he never dreamed he could do including flying through thin air once. He learned the meaning of the oil fields saying “there is no such thing as can’t” He got strong. He got tough. He learned how to depend totally on himself; which was part of his new-found culture. He went out on job after job working as much as 30 to 36 hours at a stretch. One time he worked two jobs of 36 hours each back to back earning $1400 in one pay period. The work was dangerous, but after a while he started liking the danger. He realized that not everybody could or would do what he was doing. When he completed a job he felt special, almost super-human. It was the greatest experience of his life to date and it taught him the greatest lesson so far: there really is no such thing as “can’t”.
Smitty stayed in the oil fields until Christmas time that year and then went home to visit family and friends. He felt like a different person when he went home. He planned on returning after the holidays but as what seemed to be his normal life now things suddenly changed. He met a girl. He liked her so much he delayed going back west. He was having a good time and he had some cash so he decided to hang around until summer and have some fun.
Chapter 22. Photography Salesman
Smitty was spending the majority of his time now dating his new love, hanging out at his favorite bar and playing a lot of golf. It was a fun spring for him but he was burning through cash at a very fast pace. He was sitting on his regular stool talking to a golf buddy who was telling a story about a job offer he had received that he was seriously considering. Smitty was reminded that the last time he listened to somebody talk about a job in this place he ended up working in the oil fields; on this very barstool he thought. He was even thinking about the oil field job as the guy spoke and shared his plans to return there in the summer or fall. The guy was all psyched up about this job opportunity though so Smitty patiently listened until he said “so what do you think Smitty? You want to go in on this?” Smitty wasn’t even sure what all the guy had said but he wasn’t doing much so he said “OK”. A couple weeks later the guy came to him and told him they were all set. He had found an investor that would cover expenses for the project and all they had to do was sell the package. Smitty asked him to refresh him on what exactly they would be doing and what this “package” actually was? After reiterating the details to Smitty his buddy says "we leave tomorrow for our first town". Smitty was so reminded of his previous sales experience with working towns. Another sales job he thought; this never seems to end. Somehow (boredom he surmised) he had gotten himself into another one.
Surprisingly it turned out to be a fun sales experience with nothing to lose because expenses were being paid by his partners investor. It was a simplistic sales angle where his partner and he set up in a hotel with an array of inexpensive prizes like pen sets, imitation gold bracelets etc. spread out on bright red and gold sheet on the bed. They would have always had a couple big prizes like a clock radio and a portable TV which of course they never gave away. They would then pay a couple local kids to drop a few hundred scratch-off cards with the prizes listed on them. Everything they needed to set up and distribute the cards was provided to them by a photography company in Texas. The hotel tab was paid for by the investors AX Gold card. There was really no expense involved for Smitty and his partner except use of their own car. In each town they set up recipients of the scratch off cards were instructed not to scratch off their card or it would become invalid. The instructions simply told them to call the hotel and ask for Mr. Jonathan Jones to make an appointment to claim their prize. It also clearly stated that they were not required to listen to a sales presentation to get their prize unless they were interested. The whole thing worked quite beautifully. It was a low pressure sales deal with a good product and smooth sales pitch. Smitty and his partner took turns in the hotel/motel room and people came to them. Most of them did not mind a quick presentation of the photography services once they got there. We would just give them a nice presentation about our photo service and about 1/3 of them would give us $50 and commit to buy $300 worth of pictures over the next 10 years. The secret that the company and we knew of course was that they would only redeem a few of our coupons for custom enlargements from our “Image Technology Center in Houston Texas” and then the booklet would get dropped in a drawer and forgotten for all time. Coincidently, our commission per sale was $50. We normally had several people in each town who would pay the whole $350 on the spot. We always had a few extra Albums in the car to give to these gracious citizens. We got an extra $25 for these sales, which we called “Cash Ups. After a couple months of this the job became so easy and so much fun Smitty knew it could not possibly last. For one thing, they were making less and less sales in each town and they both knew why but couldn’t stop it. They spent entirely too much time in the bar and both of them began dating some of the local girls and hotel staff. After a while their investor lost patience with the volume of sales they were making and pulled the plug. It was fun while it lasted Smitty mused.
Back at the home bar again Smitty began thinking about heading back out west to work. He also began to think maybe he should consider getting a good job and settling down. Maybe he should forget the oil fields….maybe. He began thinking of using his education to find a good regular day job with benefits; all the things that Mary wanted him to do. After putting in a few applications for office jobs he realized that this was not right even though he was crazy about his newfound love. He had to return west. He was a Caser in the oil fields with a good job, good pay, good benefits; he had to go.
Smitty stayed until the beginning of summer and then packed his car for the trip back west. He was hoping he could get back with his old company, but if not he knew he would find something. He was at the door of his parent’s house with his last box to load when the phone rang. He never quite got why he went back to answer that phone that day since it was his parents not his, but he did. Surprisingly, it was for him. It was a company he had applied to for a job several months before. Something inside of Smitty took over and before he even realized what he had said, he replied to the caller “yes, he was still interested”. He had an interview for a good job with a manufacturing company. “How did that happen and why did he say he was interested”, thought Smitty.
Chapter 23. Production Controllers Assistant
This job was the beginning of a lifetime of jobs for Smitty. He had no idea what was about to befall him when he went for an interview for what turned out to be the first of many jobs around manufacturing. The job he was applying for required a four year college education but Smitty only had his Associate Degree at the time. The Employment Counselor and Smitty both pretended to misunderstand the college requirement (lied) about the college degree and he got an interview. It was actually the second interview before the question “what college did you graduate from?” came up. Fortunately by this time the interviewers were impressed enough with Smitty that they forgave the education requirement “over sight”, and gave him a chance with the caveat that he go back to school and get his degree. (which he did five years later) This was to be his longest ever job to date, lasting 5 years 8 months. It established the foundation for everything Smitty did for 35 years after that, and despite the low starting salary it was a great opportunity for him. It opened up the professional door for him and he walked through it never looking back. He learned about manufacturing methods, inventory planning, purchasing, cost accounting, master scheduling and statistical analysis. He was promoted several times and worked in different departments acquiring more knowledge each time. After a few years he knew the business inside and out. He attended many continuing education seminars, finished his bachelors degree, and became certified in production, inventory control and purchasing. Smitty was putting a foundation under himself that continued to pay off for the rest of his working life. After a while he began to focus on the procurement end of the business exclusively; he realized very quickly that purchasing touched all elements of the business, dressed better, went out to lunch more, attended seminars, and played and promoted golf outings. In short, the purchasing folks seemed to be having more fun than the rest of the departments!, so as soon as he saw an opening Smitty became a Buyer.
Smitty was fortunate enough to start in Purchasing working for an experienced older guy named Harry and also a seasoned purchasing secretary named Joyce. Both had been with the company over twenty five years. Harry joined the company right after his discharge from the Army Air Core where he was a bomber pilot during the Second World War. Harry started out on the manufacturing floor operating various equipment, then moved to production control and later became the organizations one and only Purchasing Agent. He was a big man with huge hands and body mass without an once of fat poised perfectly on a six foot six inch frame. He had grown up working hard everyday on his Fathers farm. Smitty got the impression from the minimum amount that Harry talked about his childhood and personal life that “fun” was not a very big part of Harry’s life. He had worked; on the farm; in school, in the Army, and now at the Fire Alarm factory. However, despite his rugged looks and serious manner Harry was basically a kind soul with excellent patience. This was extremely lucky for Smitty because he was in a hurry to learn everything and move up the ladder. Harry’s temperament and length of time with the company was perfectly timed to give Smitty the training and ultimately Harry’s job. And then there was Joyce; she was the epitome of organization. She was the “Radar O’Riley” to Harry and Smitty; always seeming to know what was needed in advance; sometimes to an almost mystical level. She was or had become the perfect fit for Harry over the years. She was serious just like him but kept a guarded dry sense of humor that Smitty both envied and mimicked from time to time. She became Smitty’s new “Ellie” like back in his hotel administration learning days. Only now he was learning purchasing and how dry humor worked. His first Christmas season in purchasing Joyce looked over from her desk and said; “Smitty it is time we decorated the office for the Holiday” She then proceeded to reach in her top right desk drawer and pull out two plastic figurines; one of Santa and the other a snowman. She put one on the corner of her desk and the other on the corner of Smitty’s desk. Then, without another word she returned to her typewriter and continued working. This ritual went on every Christmas for five years! Harry never seemed to notice; he was always on the phone. Smitty found the procurement function fascinating. He could use every skill he had accumulated to date and was always challenged to learn more. It was a perfect place to gain a perspective of the entire functional company. Harry taught him patience and how to be thorough. His mantra was “go slowly and do it once right”. His style was akin to the adage: “measure twice cut once” probably a carryover from his farm days Smitty guessed. The important thing is that before long and after a whole lot of screw-ups Smitty began to appreciate Harry’s methodology and follow it religiously. In short, he became a very good Buyer. Harry sent him off to seminars on basic purchasing and advanced contracting. He allowed Smitty to buy everything the company needed rather than restricting him to the simpler commodities. In this manner Smitty got involved in all aspects of the job. Harry taught him about buyer/seller relationships and preserving the source of the supply lines. When Smitty was pushing too hard for savings he would remind him that the other guy has to make money too. When he was giving too much business to one supplier Harry would remind him how important the second source was. When he was assuming too much, Harry would ask him if had gotten another quote from someone we hadn’t tried before. From Harry he learned business balance, law, fair play, how to develop long-term relationships and common sense. Working with Harry was like working with a really good father. He was tough and fair all at once. Harry came to admire him which taught him a lesson in and of itself and that is – give people a chance, pay attention to them, you can learn a lot. Smitty continued to move up in responsibility while working with Harry. He always gave him more to do and he was always preparing him for when he retired. He promoted Smitty to Senior Buyer and finally Assistant Purchasing Agent. Smitty finished college and became a Certified Purchasing Manager during his five years with Harry and Joyce. By then they had become like family to him. Harry and Joyce were both getting close to retirement and Smitty was seriously thinking about what it was going to be like being the boss and having a new secretary. The prospect made him anxious, scared and sad all at once; a combination of emotions he had never experienced before. Fortunately or unfortunately Harry somberly informed Smitty that he had decided to work for three more years. Smitty’s anxiety got the best of him at this news and he decided to look around for a senior purchasing position with a larger company. He had already reached the maximum salary for his position and he knew he was making almost as much as Harry. As reluctant as he was to leave Harry and Joyce and the company he had come to know inside and out, maybe it was time for him to move up in his new career. So he put together a resume and sent it out to all the larger companies in the area. It wasn’t long before he was contacted by a large appliance manufacturer looking to fill a Corporate Purchasing Agent position. The job offered a much bigger salary, a nice office and unbridled business travel to supplier locations and manufacturing facilities around the country. It was the kind of job Smitty had read about and one he would have to buy a whole new business wardrobe for. On his second interview he was offered the position; off to the clothier he went. He also felt like he needed a more business like car so having just finished his book he decided to give Lee Iacocca a chance and bought a new Dodge Aries K. He considered it his “business mobile”
The day Smitty left the fire alarm company was the saddest and most exciting of his life. Saying goodbye to Harry and Joyce was like leaving his parents to go off to the military or college. They were both so proud of him for getting his degree and certification and landing a job that both knew was considered big time in the local area. Christmas was only a month away so Joyce said; “I guess we should decorate one more time” as she pulled out her Santa and I took out my snowman. Harry finally noticed and we all smiled with tear filled eyes.
When Smitty moved to the next job he was responsible for thirty six million dollars worth of purchase annually; a huge jump from the million he had previously managed. It was a move up in life he just had to make. As it turned out Harry decided to retire at 66 instead of 62 so Smitty would have had to wait four more years to move up there. He had made the right decision but he could not help but think longingly how much he loved that job. There were days on the ride home he would get tears in his eyes because it had been such a good career day. He wondered if there would ever be another job so good.
As Smitty drove out of the parking lot that day, as he had done for the past six years, he looked over at the building where he had learned so much and uttered a very loud “thank you”. He had learned another lesson in life but it wasn’t very enjoyable at the moment: sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
Smitty went back to visit that small town and factory twenty-three years later. He drove by the company where he had spent almost six years of his life and where Harry had spent forty of his. It was boarded up but the name was still embedded into the concrete atop the main entrance. He drove around the building three times. After that he went to see if Harry still lived in the same place. Sure enough; he was 83 years old and still lived at the same address not far from where we both worked. Smitty knocked on his door and Harry answered. He looked the same but despite Smitty’s attempts to tell him who he was Harry could not remember. Harry looked and sounded the same but his memory was gone. Smitty thanked him for the many things he had taught him when they worked together and left him as he had twenty-three years before; with tears in his eyes. Smitty decided not to look up Joyce after this. Best to leave the past in the past he thought.
Chapter 25. Corporate Purchasing Agent
After a short vacation Smitty showed up for his new position Monday morning at 8AM in one of the three new suits he had recently purchased, along with shirts, ties and a shiny pair of wingtips. As he was parking his “Business Mobile” he was thinking: well, I look the part, now I just have to learn and be the part. The receptionist greeted him at the gleaming front desk of an enormous reception area with a big smile and said “I bet you are our new Purchasing Agent; Mr. Gildee is expecting you’. She must have had some magical button hidden somewhere because a moment later Smitty’s new boss was there shaking his hand and ushering him to what appeared to be a recently renovated office. His new boss was a straight forward kind of a guy. He used short sentences to communicate with words that were right to the point. After shaking Smitty’s hand a second time and showing him the office he simply said “will this work”? Smitty said “fine”. Mr. Gildee then turned and walked away; over his shoulder he said “9AM my office; and call me John”. Smitty showed up in front of John’s secretary’s desk at 8:55. Her name was Hilda and she was wearing a pair of headphones; she smiled and pointed to Johns door which was open. There were four chairs in front of his enormous desk arranged in a semi-circle. There was also a couch, chair and a coffee table. Smitty had never seen an office with furniture, lamps and artwork before. There was even a mini refrigerator, microwave, and a coffee maker. He was astonished by the size of the room and furnishings and the look on his face must have said so because John immediately said “it’s a bit much isn’t it”? Smitty made no pretense as he continued to marvel at the room. At that moment three others entered the office whom John quickly introduced as the other three Purchasing Agents that worked for him sometimes, but mostly they worked for themselves and filled him in once in a while. For Smitty’s benefit he explained that this Monday morning meeting was the one and only meeting they normally had and it was usually brief. With that said he looked at us and said “Good morning gentlemen; travel this week?” One of the guys commented “you have Smitty traveling already?” There were a few chuckles then everyone got serious and laid out their weekly plans. John made a few notes in his planner and the meeting was over in less than 15 minutes. Smitty was basically in shock at this point; he had never been in an environment like this and felt very lost. After the other agents funneled out John came from behind his desk and said “you’ll get used to it, let’s get a second cup and I’ll show you around the building”.
This was the beginning of a life Smitty never dreamed of. John turned out to be the best wheeler-dealer he had ever known. He was like Norm from his hotel days but had a lot more of other peoples money to spend; in fact tens of millions of dollars! He wielded buying power like a mongul warriors sword. Smitty never heard or saw him much again except for the brief meeting every Monday morning. He was assigned three million dollars worth of commodities to manage the purchase of, issued a corporate American Express card and turned loose. He created his own relationships with suppliers, traveled as he saw fit, and solved his own problems. When he needed advice all he had to do was chat with John for a few minutes on Monday morning; John always had a quick answer or a strategy for resolving whatever Smitty was struggling with. In fact, John seemed to know everything that he was working on and the status of his projects. Apparently John was more plugged into all four of his agents activities than Smitty could imagine. Of course all of the staff was ambitious and ready to jump on every cost savings that came along. Smitty was the junior member of the group and was learning from John and the other senior agents how to squeeze every dime out of every deal. He was responsible for about three million dollars in annual purchases, which paled by comparison to the most senior guy who purchased all the electronics at more than twenty million. Regardless of Smitty’s paltry millions of buying power he was overwhelmed with the way he was being treated by those he did business with. He had been in the procurement profession for many years but he had never felt the power of his position until now. He was learning so much everyday it was like being in some advanced business training environment. He was involved in things like managing product re-engineering efforts and production line quality control. He traveled to his companies production facilities on a regular basis and worked with staff. It occurred to him after a few trips like this that he was expected to provide direction and support for the local operations staff; particularly as it related to procurement contracts. Smitty became skilled at contract negotiation and supplier relations. He spent a great deal of time traveling to supplier facilities and gaining an understanding of their production facilities and processes. He was absorbing how various businesses worked at a rapid pace. In just a few months he transformed into a fast moving business savvy person; even a little demanding at times. His view of the world around him began to change. He now looked at everything he did from a standpoint of dollars saved or benefits gained. He learned from John that the secret to getting your way was all about the money. John was notorious for holding a suppliers invoice hostage until they agreed to his demands. It was a hard core approach that Smitty was not totally comfortable with but it did work. There were times when John would even negotiate an invoice settlement for less than the amount billed. Smitty was not quite able to go that far but over time he did get tougher. He felt like he was years older in just a few months working this new job. He couldn’t imagine a better job or career than he had going now. He had an expense account and a nice salary and office. John bumped his purchasing responsibilities upwards of ten million dollars after just a few months so he felt like he was doing the right things. The benefits were like nothing he had experienced to date. He basically paid for nothing. The job was a steady stream of lunches, travel, golf outings and other perks all revolving around his decisions to award contracts worth millions of dollars. He could basically do anything he wanted as long as he showed up in the bosses office every Monday morning at 9AM. John, he learned, did not believe in Win/Win. He believed that somebody always lost and it was not going to be us. He relished this idea and it was infectious. Soon we were all an extension of him. The four of us were referred to by the rest of the organization as “Johns Raiders”. After only nine months on this Job Smitty felt like he owned the world; but there was a burning issue that continued to haunt him; was this really who he was? He had learned a lot from John and the other agents but down deep he knew he had something else to offer in a different way than he was presently doing. John had certainly transformed him into a much tougher businessman and had grown, but he also knew that John’s style was not really his. Besides this, he was fully aware that while he was eating steaks and lobster and drinking martinis his family were home eating beans and franks and wondering where he was most of the time. Basically, the job offered great perks but not that great a salary. He also felt like he had a lot to offer others and often thought about moving into a management role. He even dreamed of becoming an executive like John some day. While he was sitting in his office having this daydream he was disturbed by a phone call from a pesky salesman from Atlanta who seemed to want to talk about the weather more than what he was selling. His name was Earl and he called frequently. He had a strong southern drawl and asked Smitty if he was ready to move South. This certainly got his attention because it was currently about twenty degrees outside. Smitty thought the idea was absurd until Earl started laying out the specifics of an opportunity to start-up and manage a purchasing group in Atlanta. Earl described a company that was growing at such a rapid pace that there was no time to build an infrastructure. The organization, if you could call it that, was just reacting to the surging demand for their products. There was no professional purchasing department but the company was spending millions of dollars everyday. Those currently spending this money had no procurement training whatsoever. They were employees pulled off the manufacturing floor, given a desk and told to call suppliers and buy what production managers ask for. Everything was a rush and they were paying top dollar for goods, services and shipping. There were no contracts, negotiations or haggling. Earl made it clear that they were so in need of a professional buyer to lead them they would most likely agree to any terms to get one. Smitty decided to send his resume. Four weeks later after only nine months on the job he and his family were headed to the Peach state. Smitty was reminded of a statement one of his very positive hotel regulars used to say: “If things are going good, expect them to get better”.
Smitty accepted an offer with the Atlanta based company and showed up for work January 7th. He remembered the date well because it snowed seven inches on Peachtree Whatever Street where his temporary apartment was located. The company had offered him $15,000 more a year than he had been making plus a signing bonus of $3500. He was also provided a full pack executive relocation package that included three months temporary living expenses. The benefits and profit sharing package was incredible. Smitty felt like he had died and gone to heaven. Even though his title was Senior Buyer, he was reporting directly to the Purchasing Director, had his own group of six Buyers, and was considered part of the management team. He hadn’t yet realized that “no title, no office” meant “no respect” within the new world he had entered.
Smitty was never into a job like the one that was now before him. His group of direct reports needed a lot of polish and he was up to the task. He would get them all working on their purchasing certifications and train them himself everyday. He thought of John; he would make them “Smitty’s Raiders”. He quickly found out that this new company was very different than the traditional industries he had previously worked in. He now worked for a company that was referred to by a new term he had never heard before; ‘High Tech”. Until now Smitty had never given much thought to where he came from or the kind of organizations he was part of. He was a certified procurement professional and had eight years experience working with a well rounded group of commodities. He felt confident he was up for any challenge that might come his way. He soon realized that there was a whole lot he did not know. Although he thought he came from the big-time corporate world, he had no experience working in an environment as hectic as this new one. First of all; everyone was new to the company because, like him, they had been quickly recruited due to the organizations fast growth; which had basically gone from a garage operation to a billion dollar company in five years. Smitty himself had gone from buying ten million dollars a year to thirty six million. Plus, he had a staff of people reporting to him that seemed to need guidance constantly. He also had a string of new management people to report to coming in weekly. His management changed three times in the first two months. The company kept adding layers above Smitty until he felt like a Junior Buyer again. The people that hired Smitty were gone a few months after Smitty came on board. The only responsibilities he had for his group, which had been reduced by three was to get them trained and procurement certified. Even that went away after a few more months, as the new VP of Purchasing brought in high level procurement professionals that specialized in “High Tech”. Two new Directors came on board, and soon after Managers that used to work for them at previous technology companies. The company continued to grow at a ridiculous pace. Smitty had to admit that the environment was fun. The money was great and despite long hours the work was interesting; and as always, Smitty was again learning, learning …. He thought this was the beginning of teaching and leading but it seemed it was just the beginning of learning and following. Soon, he became accustomed to his new role and set out to be the best he could be. He forged relationships with suppliers as always, and accomplished all the goals that were presented to him by the ever-changing management team. Soon he was humming along and getting the job done. He was a bit perturbed at the snide remarks his bosses threw his way about his cheap suits, short sleeve shirts and his “business mobile” Dodge Aries, but he took it and tried to improve. After six months, most of the staff around him were MBA’s that had held management positions in other companies. They had much more experience and education than Smitty had ever imagined. While he felt slighted most of the time now he did come to understand that there was a sort of “management level club” that he did not belong to and never would. Despite his efforts, he began to think that he might never have what it takes to move up in management. For sure he now knew he needed at least an MBA, and it better be from a recognized school. So he kept his head down, made his quarterly goals and bonuses, and bought some better suits, shirts and ties. He did his best to enjoy what he later realized was “a high tech ride”. Business was booming and the founder and president had no problem sharing the wealth. There were parties nearly every Friday night at the headquarters building. There was even a Company Chef who traveled around the world collecting recipes to bring back for the staff to try. The company picnic was the equivalent of going to the circus. There were two stages with live music all day long, mimes and stilt walkers, faces painting, hot air balloon rides, an arcade tent with every video game on the market. The food was housed in multiple tents by cuisine; one containing only deserts. In short, it was the Mother of all company picnics. The Vice Presidents were all driving Mercedes. The term Yuppie and Over-achiever were introduced to Smitty. Everybody was trying to get ahead; a better title, a better office, a bigger salary. There were more new hires everyday. Smitty heard that at one point Human Resources was holding new employee orientation for 10-12 people every day; one of them was Smitty’s own wife who had taken a job in one of the production facilities nearby. There were a lot of fun times for Smitty in his position as a Senior Buyer. He was responsible for tremendous annual expenditures and his social life reflected it. He was continuously wined and dined by suppliers that wanted to do business with the company. He had to turn down ridiculous offers like an all expenses paid trip to the Olympics, TVs and other extravagant gifts that he could not even consider taking. Seats behind the Atlanta Braves dugout or other local entertainment were the exception though; and of course lots of dinners and lunches. He sat at his desk everyday thinking “life is good” while at the same time thinking that there was something very unrealistic happening. He knew from his years working in traditional industries that there are always good times and bad. He thought of how good things were going for this company and wondered when the ride would be over…?
As it turned out, Smitty’s premonition came to fruition six months later when his wife came home from work at 8AM in the morning just as he was leaving for the office. She said her production supervisor met her at the door and told her she was being laid off immediately. She said she apparently was not alone because there was a mass exodus going on in the parking lot when she reached her car. By the mix of work and dress clothes she said it looked like production and office personnel were affected. Smitty spent a half hour consoling her before she suggested he better get to the office and find out if he still had a job. He arrived there at 9AM to find people all around his area loading up newly formed boxes with personal items and heading out the door. He went to his office and sat for a few minutes trying to compose himself. Five minutes later his boss showed up in the doorway and said “you’re OK Smitty, it’s just a purge; happens all the time in this industry”. Smitty had never heard the term “purge” before and he certainly did not feel “OK”. His yuppie boss made it sound like everybody was fine and those that were left would go out to lunch to celebrate their good fortune. Smitty quickly told him that his wife was affected and had arrived home before he left to come to work. His boss was at least kind enough to tell him to go back home for the rest of the day; saying he would call if there were any further developments regarding the purchasing department. This did not give Smitty a warm fuzzy feeling but at least he could escape the mounting desperation surrounding him. There were a couple of his buyers with tears in their eyes and a few others that just seemed to be in shock. The whole scene reminded Smitty of a Zombie movie he had seen once. The unfortunate employees that got the axe seemed to be moving in slow motion toward the main exit ushered by reluctant looking security personnel who probably figured they would be next. He felt guilty as he headed out the door without a cardboard box. He walked quickly hoping no one would engage him in conversation. Fortunately or unfortunately everyone was apparently so in shock that conversation was non-existent. Approximately three hundred employees were let go that day followed by another couple hundred over the next few weeks. Apparently middle management came last because the purchasing ranks suddenly dwindled to Director, Manager, Smitty, and three other senior purchasing guys. After the dust settled and despite a deep sadness Smitty felt he would never shake off, he could not help but feel that there was some poetic justice in all this. Particularly when he heard that many of the Mercedes driving VPs were gone. It quickly became clear thanks to a very unforgiving media that competition in the industry blew the company away. The organization was being crucified by magazine and newspaper articles describing the rapid rise and fall, including the extravagant parties, cars and travel that became the norm there. The inexperience of the fake executives was exposed and most of Smitty’s critics went out the door with their cardboard boxes. A new older CFO was brought on board and started putting some reality back into the operation. Smitty thought that perhaps the company might actually start acting and eventually being a real professional organization instead of a trial run for freshly graduated yuppies with MBAs. Smitty knew he could not stick around to see if this would come true though; he knew he would not recover quickly from the “purge” he had witnessed. . He began looking for a way out that would help him forget about this awful experience.
Anticipating the worse, Smitty began working longer hours and learning the newly introduced computer system. In just a few months he had it pretty well mastered. The rest of the staff seemed to show no interest in getting better at it but he saw the potential. He soon found himself the go to person for any issues or training the purchasing staff needed including management. He felt like he had found a niche for himself and hoped that it would lead to something in the future. It wasn’t long before his boss asked him to demonstrate how he was using the new system’s features to streamline purchase order and quotation processes. After that he began working on a supplier evaluation process, then a requisitioning process, then a preferred item and supplier list. Then the Inventory Control department solicited his help with integration to the purchasing system. Next, Accounts Payable was integrated and Smitty was asked to lead the integration to procurement effort. Smitty found himself doing less purchasing work and more systems work everyday. He had become the department’s systems guru. One day his boss ask him if he would demonstrate his use of the system to a couple sales people from the software company. Smitty enjoyed doing this because he was very proud of what he had achieved. He never imagined the impact of doing this demonstration until a few weeks later when he was asked to create and conduct a training course in house for purchasing staff members. Smitty did not know anything about creating a training course but he put together some screen prints of the steps he was using and scheduled a conference room. On the day of the training Smitty was surprised to see that in addition to the regular purchasing staff the VP of Materials Management and the Controller were there; and his boss was there with the two sales people from the software company. Smitty hardly expected such a big audience; he was extremely nervous but went through the steps with everyone and answered everyone’s questions without hesitation. A couple weeks after the training Smitty got a call from one of the software company’s sales people asking him if he would be interested in a job doing training for the software company. He said he had cleared it with Smitty’s management and if he was interested he had their blessing. This offer was the break that Smitty needed to leave the company on good terms and begin the process of forgetting the horrible experience he had there. Little did he know that what he had witnessed was just the beginning of a steady decline in the morality of business; or maybe he was just a naïve young man from a small town? Either way Smitty was glad to get the hell out of there. As he was walking out the door his last day (with just his briefcase; no cardboard box) he thought back on all the people that awful day with boxes in their hands and tears in their eyes. One husband and wife team was even let go. Smitty thought about his own wife and wondered how close he and her were to this scenario. All those people Smitty thought.. those that helped grow the company from the first building to five buildings during an annual average growth rate of 250%. As it turned out, the profits from the good days had simply been mismanaged. Had even half of the money been put into new product development and marketing research, or even invested properly, the organization might have avoided that terrible day. Instead, most of it went into the salaries, benefits and golden parachutes for self serving yuppies. It was a damn shame. Smitty climbed into his “business mobile” and drove away thinking about the best thing that happen to him on this job; he got so spend two hours having lunch with his boyhood idol Johnny Unites who was traveling the country promoting one of his suppliers
This turned out to be the best and most fulfilling job Smitty ever had. Later in life he even looked back and still felt the same way. Even more remarkable was that he knew it was the best experience he was ever going to have while he was having it. As he was reporting to his new employer he thought to himself; I have truly joined the Yuppie ranks. Fortunately he had been intimidated into buying better suits and shirts during his last experience so all he had to do was hide his Dodge Aries K in what appeared to be a massive parking garage detached from the building he would be working in. The software company was in the heart of Atlanta’s upscale Buckhead area. It was housed in a beautiful twelve story office building. Smitty parked his business mobile in a remote space as deep in the parking garage as possible away from other cars and trekked to the elaborately landscaped front entrance. When he entered the lobby he felt like he was being interviewed again rather than reporting for work. The lobby reception desk person took Smitty’s name and called his new boss. She came down the elevator from the ninth floor without delay and took Smitty’s hand like he was a long lost relative. He had been very much at ease when she interviewed him a few weeks before and he felt the same way as she led him to the elevator and up to her office. Her name was Barbara. She was originally from Alabama and still retained some of the accent, which when coupled with her exposure to Georgia speak, produced a kind sounding welcoming voice that made you want to do whatever she ask. This was Smitty’s first female boss so he did not know what to expect. As it turned out, he didn’t really notice anything different between Barbara and any of the other managers he had encountered. If anything, she seemed a little less Yuppie and more down to earth. Smitty liked her immediately and those feelings never changed throughout his time there. After a brief chat in her office she showed Smitty his office then escorted him around and introduced him to as much of the staff as were currently in their offices. She also showed him the education facility which was located on the floor below. After the tour she took him to lunch on the same floor and introduced him to other teachers who were on break from classes they were currently engaged in. The facility was fantastic. There were fully equipped classrooms, meeting and conference rooms and a full service cafeteria and coffee shop. Other floors in the building were devoted to sales, development, human resources etc. Every floor of the building was full of activity. The environment felt so positive to Smitty he had tears of joy in his eyes as he walked to his car at the end of that first day. How, he thought, did I arrive here in life? He couldn’t wait to get home that night to share the experience with his family. He was now a full time Teacher. His job was to conduct software application seminars on a weekly basis to customers who had either purchased the company’s software or were evaluating it for purchase. After spending nine years on the purchasing side of the fence it felt to Smitty like he had joined a sales organization now. Even though he was teaching purchasing, he definitely realized that he was no longer in his career. This was never as evident to him as it was a month after joining the company when he relocated the phone on his desk to the credenza behind him. For the last nine years he had spent over half his days on the phone; now it never rang and he rarely had occasion to use it. What a different world he mused; nobody calling and inviting him to lunch or dinner; no ballgame tickets; you think somebody would call; after all, many of those people became personal friends over the years. At least he thought they were friends? After a couple months he realized that his previous life was all about business. How naïve to think otherwise he thought. Another of life’s lessons; he had heard it many times before but had never really understood; “business is business”. He was even happier now; this was a good step forward. Even if he went back to his purchasing career he would be a better person because of this experience.
Although Smitty was somewhat intimidated by the apparent polish of the experienced staff with whom he worked, he quickly picked up the presentation skills required to become effective in the classroom. His early sales training helped him transition to the role and his hands-on manufacturing and purchasing experience afforded him credibility with the audience who were mostly hard line purchasing guys. Harry came to mind the day he conducted his first class. Most of the audience were older than Smitty but because all of his purchasing mentors were older he had no trouble relating to his students. He also had the advantage of all the supplier visits and evaluations he had done as a buyer. He had a pretty broad knowledge of many of the different types of companies represented each week and leveraged it wisely. In turn, he was also learning from the companies represented about industries he was unfamiliar with. . All in all, it was a tremendous learning experience. Smitty found out that teaching was the best way to learn and grow.
After a few months of conducting classes every week Smitty got comfortable enough with the material and audiences that he began using some humor and techniques that helped relax the attendees and make the classes fun. He loved every minute of everyday while he was doing this job; and because he loved it so much he worked very hard at getting better at it everyday. It also didn’t hurt that he was making the most money and had more time off than any job he had held to date. Occasionally he even got to travel to customer facilities and conduct in house training. It was just the right amount of travel so he enjoyed the occasional trips. He even got the opportunity to travel to Puerto Rico and Columbia, South America to evaluate operations and conduct training. This made him brush up on his high school Spanish which paid off many times later in his life. The other instructors in his department were wonderful people and the whole atmosphere of the company was positive without an excessive amount of politics. Smitty felt better than he had ever felt in his life and was sure that he had truly found his calling in the teaching profession. Although it was wonderful to feel this way about a job, it brought on a feeling that Smitty carried around with him everyday. What if it ended? Would he ever be as happy again if this company had problems or God forbid a “purge” like he had previously experienced?
Smitty was in job heaven for two years but like all things it came to an end. The inevitable downturn came and the ugly term “purge" rose its head again. He was back to the horror he had experienced just a few years before. The “zombie box walk” was taking place when he arrived at the office one day. As before in his life he was luckily spared, but the experience was still painful. The guy that he had learned most everything about teaching from was let go. He had been with the company eleven years and was far superior to Smitty in seniority and talent. Maybe his salary was too big or he had pissed off an executive or two along the way? He was a bit sarcastic; maybe that did him in? Smitty wondered this as they met in the hallway teary eyed. Anson had been a great mentor and coworker. Many others were let go that day. Smitty was protected from the purge by being transferred to the marketing department for six months. He then returned to teaching as if nothing had happen; but in his mind a lot had happen; he had changed; for the first time in his life he felt bitter contempt for the corporate world and it never went away. When he left that job six months later a thought planted in his brain by his Mother many years ago surfaced; “there are no guarantees in life and nothing is forever”.
Fifteen years and eight jobs later Smitty ran into his old mentor. Coming off another brutal layoff, which had become a common occurrence in his life, he landed a temporary contract job at a company and was surprised when he bumped into him there. He was now the VP of Development. Smitty tried several times to get him to have lunch and catch up but for no apparent reason it never happen. He did manage to have a conversation with him in the company parking lot one day and told him he had used the training and presentation techniques he had taught him many times over the years, and had even established his own training company. The Mentor replied “he didn’t remember much about that, but he was glad somebody got something out of it.” Smitty only stayed with the company for a couple months but was left wondering about this. He thought for sure they were very close fifteen years before but maybe that was just in his mind. He never saw his old mentor again.
Chapter 28. Purchasing Systems Specialist
At this point in Smitty’s life he began to wonder if there were any companies out there where he could actually find a permanent home. At best, he was disillusioned with the work world; but mostly his experience to date had left him pretty disgusted with corporate America. He had wonderful experiences, but there were so many terrible things mixed in. He could not stop his brain from constantly running back through all the jobs and pondering the outcomes. After a few months of this he decided to take a sabbatical and try to clear his head. He moved to the countryside back in Ohio and tried to find a job teaching part time in a small local university. Unfortunately, not finishing his Masters Degree came back to bite him again; he could not even get into an associate position without it. After a couple months of burning through cash he gave up and went back to the city to look for work. Thanks to his software teaching job he had contacts all over the country including nearby Columbus Ohio. After a few calls he was able to secure some job leads and project work. In fact, after just a week he realized that he could probably make a living doing in-house training and consulting work for companies that had the software system he had learned working in Atlanta. He started to get excited again about the prospects of operating his own consulting business. The whole idea took him back to his maintenance company days. He had established a company before why not do that again he thought. The only thing he was short on was capital? That’s when his phone rang and one of his past students, a Senior Director of Materials for a large hospital offered him a full time job as a Purchasing Systems Specialist. Smitty explained that he was in the throws of starting up his own consulting business but he would take the job as long as he could continue that work on the side. The Director agreed as long as Smitty didn’t consult for any other hospitals. This was perfect for Smitty; it provided the start-up boost he needed to develop his business. It also offered him a fall back position because he was right back working in Purchasing. In just a few months Smitty was conducting software training and supporting several local companies in addition to his work at the hospital. Because he knew the inventory, procurement and accounting software so well his daily work was easy. By this time in his life his human relations skills were pretty polished so he knew how to get people to do what he wanted. After about a month on the job he had his daily work down to about an hour. The rest of the time he enjoyed myself, talked to people and generally had a good time. He got pretty bored after the 2nd year and he couldn’t seem to find a path that would move him up or into something more challenging. He had built up a nice consulting practice on the side working with a couple banks and an insurance company. He had even taken time off and worked with a couple clients in DC and Miami. He was beginning to think about going full-time with the business. What he needed was one good big project to get started. He had no sooner had this thought when an old acquaintance called him and ask if he would be interested in doing some work for a big publishing company in New York City. As reluctant as Smitty was to give up what he felt was a permanent home at the hospital, this sounded like the chance of a lifetime so he went for it. He gave his notice and two weeks later he was on a plane to the Big Apple. As his plane was descending to LaGuardia he couldn’t help thinking “If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere” He hoped this was the beginning of an exciting and profitable career as an independent consultant.
Chapter 29. Independent Consultant
For the first time in his life Smitty was making over a hundred thousand dollars a year with the potential of two hundred. He learned quickly that big money meant long hours and heavy handed corporate politics that made everyday a challenge. Smitty’s Midwestern demeanor just did not match up to everyday life in a large New York City organization. He understood and had experienced his share of bizarre organizational behavior but what he had stepped into now was mind boggling. There seemed to be a war going on between the different departments which represented different publications. It was suppose to be one company but it felt more like multiple companies competing against each other; and they competed on everything. Each group thought they were in charge of everything that went on including what computer system was going to be used and when and how it would be implemented. They had meetings that ended in shouting matches and everyone going back to their own departments refusing to cooperate further. Smitty and his partner were caught in the middle. Although they had been granted authority from the highest management level it did not matter much when staff would not show up for meetings or software training. No matter how much executive pressure was applied, the people would just not cooperate. Smitty couldn’t even get a training or conference room booked because they were all located within the various departments which politically meant the rooms were only for that specific departments activities. He also couldn’t use the corporate facilities because they were reserved for executive activities. He spent the first month trying to get a room to kick off the project; most of it staring out the 22nd floor window of his work area while people around him were whispering “who is this guy and why does he have a window”? When the project executive was presented with this dilemma, the issue was finally resolved by giving Smitty a twelve by twelve foot room in the basement that had previously been the smoking lounge before smoking was banned in the building. The room would smell like cigarettes for ever unless it was completed fumigated, painted and refurnished. Smitty knew that in the current political environment that could take months so he cleaned it himself and switched out furniture one piece at a time from other parts of the building after hours. After about a week he finally got a flip chart and an overhead projector but getting computers in the room was another thing. It took several weeks before connections were made and two old PCs were delivered. Meanwhile Smitty prepared and scheduled the project kick off. He could only host about eight people at a time in the tiny room so he invited the manager from each of the nine departments in hopes of getting things rolling. He anticipated a no show audience so he asked the executive sponsor of the project to send out the meeting notice. Two department managers showed up; the rest claimed they could not find the meeting room. The two that did show left almost immediately protesting that they would not meet in a room that looked and smelled the way this one did. Smitty’s frustration had now reached a higher plane. He went to his own project manager and partner in this endeavor and simply said “I don’t think this project can be accomplished”. After summarizing everything that had happen so far his partner promised he would get the project moving. He told Smitty to sit tight until he came up with something. A week later his boss met with him and informed him that they were going to use what he referred to as “the slam dunk method”. Basically the plan was; we would implement the new system without department involvement. He garnered executive authority and the full cooperation of Information Systems to turn on the new system and turn off the old system abruptly and let the departments blow up and go crazy. The idea was that they would then have to cooperate and learn the new system because they would not be able to get any information unless they did! To Smitty this was the most outrageous idea he had ever heard but he was not in charge; he voiced his opinion but the plan went forward. Several warnings were issued to the departments indicating that in one month their existing system access would be cut off. They were further directed to Smitty’s extension number to schedule training for their department on the new system. When Smitty read the announcement he knew that he was about to enter into a living hell. The company was pretty much being run by the middle management ranks. These were all battle hardened ladies that grew up in or around NYC. They scared Smitty. He had never worked with people that said exactly what they felt before regardless of how rude it came across. He was yelled at, belittled, tricked, and abruptly thrown out of meetings and offices; even when it was his meeting! He arrived everyday before anyone and left after everybody had gone home in fear of someone accusing him of not doing his job; which seemed to be a favorite of the not so nice ladies. Even though he was not running the project Smitty was center stage for everything and so he was the convenient whipping post for all the staff and perceived as the one that was making everyone’s life miserable. He was on the verge of quitting the project all the time and his boss must have know this because he always delayed Smitty’s invoices and kept a big balance owed.
So despite the awful training facilities, equipment and brutally uncooperative crowd Smitty went on to train over two hundred people over a two month period and stayed on to support the new system and users for several months. He even served as the acting Accounts Payable Manager for a few months while the company recruited a new one; the past individual unfortunately falling in battle. Smitty had caught so much grief from department management at this point picking up the gauntlet for this job didn’t change his daily horror story much. Even though everyday was a challenge and his phone and email were always loaded with complaints, he plugged on hoping he could find a way to escape an environment he had come to loathe. If there was anything good about the experience it was Smitty getting good exposure to financial systems in a dynamic environment; “dynamic” meaning “crazy”. He was always a little weak on General Ledger and financial reporting and this project really got him up to speed in this area.
Smitty spent almost eight months working in NYC and the while the project sucked the life out of him, he did enjoy being in the city for a few months of it. The company provided black car service for transportation, a generous meal allowance and they put him up at the Marriott Marquee in the theatre district. After six weeks he accumulated enough travel points to fly first class a lot and move to the Marriott’s concierges level. When Smitty looked back on this later in life he figured that is why he stayed so long despite the grueling work environment; well, that and the fact his invoices for over thirty thousand dollars were always in arrears. Maybe, he thought, this is as good as it gets for a project in “The Big Aaple”; a phrase he began to use more and more sarcastically over time.
After almost eight months of NYC Smitty had come to hate the place, the name, the commute and most of all the maniacs he had to work with each day. He despised the city so much that when given an opportunity to stay over New Years he declined, even though his room on the forty second floor was directly adjacent to “the ball”. He returned to the project reluctantly after the holiday and tried to resume work, but his heart and mind could not continue. He ask for the monies he was owed and escaped quickly. As his flight was gaining altitude he gazed out the window at the New York City skyline and thought of the movie “Escape from New York”. "The Big Apple" he drolled. All the glitter and glamour of that first couple months had faded leaving a bunch of buildings jammed together, crowed streets, noise, smog and people with strained looks. Great Deli’s though!
Now what? thought Smitty as he sat in his home office staring out the window. He was no longer sure who he was. So much had happen. Maybe he could get his old job back at the hospital? He started making calls to everyone he knew and had worked with in the past. The hospital needed an Accounts Payable Manager but Smitty had really only had that one experience with AP in New York. Perhaps he could exaggerate that enough to get a shot at that. He had always hung so close to procurement and materials management it felt strange to even consider anything else; but then again he had successfully done many other things without much experience. What the hell he thought; I’ll try. Based on his previous work and a few references there he got an interview and was selected for the job. The only caveat is that they were not ready to actually hire anybody until the new budget was approved. Smitty had no issue with that, in fact he would enjoy the time off. He had plenty of money in the bank so he decided to take the family to Disney for a nice well deserved vacation. When he returned from the Magic Kingdom, he continued to enjoy the time off; he worked out everyday, took long walks and bike rides and did his best to forget about the NYC project. After several weeks he began to wonder when his new job would start. He followed up on it to find out that there was a management change in process but they still planned to hire him; it would just take another month or so. They hoped he could wait that long before taking another job. He assured them he would wait until they were ready; he was still enjoying the sabbatical. Unfortunately, the delay went more than a month or so. At the end of three months Smitty decided he better start looking for another job. He was burning through his savings at a fast pace and started to get worried about being away from the business for too long. He had heard of people being stigmatized for large gaps in their resume and he did not want to get anywhere near that. So once again he began contacting every company he thought would be a good fit for him. What he discovered, was that everybody seemed to be having budget problems. They all wanted and needed to hire someone like him but new employment was frozen. This is when Smitty looked seriously up from his world and realized that the country was heading into a recession! He was so busy working and looking for work he hadn’t been paying a bit of attention to the big picture. He thought of his college courses in Micro and Macro Economics; damn he got stuck in his own micro economics and now his bank account was becoming more micro by the month. It saddened him to see all that money he made in New York dwindling. After five months he had burned through almost everything he had made during the last few months there. Then finally the phone rang and he was offered a job working as a systems liaison in a purchasing department for a large manufacturing firm. Unfortunately it was ninety miles away but he felt he had no choice but to take it. He wanted to wait for the local hospital job but he just could not afford to. He had to get to work. He signed the offer and acceptance agreement and was scheduled to begin work the following Monday. The day after he faxed back the job confirmation the hospital called and ask when he could start for them. The hiring freeze was over; they would fax over the offer for him to sign. Smitty paused for so long the Human Resources lady on the other end of the line asked if he was still there. Smitty took a deep breath, cleared his throat and said “sorry, I’ve already accepted a position with another company.
A week later Smitty reported to his new boss in a large purchasing department. As he was entering the offices he was thinking “I’m back home in purchasing, and even though he wasn’t going to be responsible for buying anything he still had a title of Purchasing Agent and his office was smack in the middle of the department. It was a good feeling. It was also a good job with great money and benefits. Plus he really liked manufacturing companies. He had started his career around them and always felt most comfortable in this environment. He accepted the fact that he would have to move again but at least it was only ninety miles and he had brought the family back to their home state. It shouldn’t be hard to make one more small move; or so he thought. Reality was, nobody including himself when he thought about it, wanted to leave good old Columbus Ohio. He was pretty much stuck at this point; he had cut off his nose despite his face by turning down the belated offer by the hospital. Now, he was just going to have to suck it up and commute ninety miles to work. He immediately knew this was not a long term solution but he would take one day at a time and see how things turned out. What turned out was Smitty loving yet another job very much. It was a great company and he had hit it right at a peak time. Fortune Magazine had even voted it the number one place to work the year he joined the organization and the year after; which was exactly how long Smitty stayed with the company. He liked to think it was all because he had brought his extensive skills to them but had to admit a few other people helped. Several other wonderful things happen in Smitty’s life during his two years there. Despite the commute he was able to work on his MBA courteous of a very liberal program the company offered. He was also able to finally bone up his technical skills thanks to a very progressive Human Resources department that allowed him to transfer from the Purchasing department to the Information Technology group. The biggest challenge Smitty had faced in his computer systems career so far was that he was not taken seriously by information technology types. He knew he would never become a true technology consultant with no technical background. It was just by chance that he was having morning coffee with one of the senior programmers from IT when the programmer complained he had been in IT for eighteen years and needed a change. Smitty smiled and said “that’s how I feel about my career; I wish I had more IT and you want less of it!” That is when Smitty made a statement that radically changed his work life. He said jokingly, “we should trade jobs” The two of them went on laughing about it saying they would just show up at each others desk the next day and maybe nobody would notice! They went on like this for several days coffee sessions when Smitty’s programmer friend told him he had shared the idea with his boss who seemed to think the idea was not as crazy as it sounded. With this in mind Smitty decided to carefully run the idea by his boss. Amazingly Smitty’s Director thought it would be good to have a purchasing practitioner within the IT group and he wouldn’t mind having someone more technical in his group. What started out as a joke was actually taking on some realistic momentum. In retrospect, Smitty believed that the only reason the idea was even considered was because everyone knew that Human Resources would never allow it and therefore nobody was on the hook for squashing the idea. Everyone was shocked when HR turned the whole thing back to the department Directors saying “if you think it is a good idea we are OK with it". What happen then had to be unprecedented in the work world. Smitty and his counterpart in IT traded positions! Overnight, Smitty became a Senior Programmer Analyst and his associate became a Senior Purchasing Agent; neither one of them having any experience in these fields. It helped both their careers tremendously and it ultimately saved Smitty’s career.
Senior Programmer/Analyst. Now that Smitty had maneuvered his way into a technical position all he had to do now was become technical. Since he was a "senior" at it he must be good right? Wrong. This was without a doubt the biggest challenge he ever faced in a job. He had to cram information into his head like the “Great Imposter” before performing dental surgery. After a few weeks in the position he realized that no matter how hard he worked at it he would never be able to pass for a Programmer; least of all a Senior Programmer. Then, just as he was about to give up and throw himself on the mercy of the HR court, a good Samaritan in the form of his new supervisor came along and took pity on him. Smitty will never forget how patient and kind this individual was. He saved Smitty’s reputation and helped him learn so much so quickly he looked back on it later in life as a miracle.
Six months after the ”big Purchasing – Programmer switch” the company decided to outsource all of their Information Technology functions. This was Smitty’s opportunity to get back to Columbus and get a position as a technology consultant. After all, he was now a Senior Programmer Analyst with an award winning fortune five hundred company! He found a position with a well know consulting company back in Columbus and left the company just before his old job was eliminated. He was thankful to make an escape again without the "zombie box walk". While making his last long ninety mile commute home he had plenty of time to reflect on the last two years and the previous fourteen before that. He hoped beyond all hope that this new career is going to be the one he can stay with for life. He thought about a couple of this early jobs as a Donut Pan Washer and Window Washer and was reminded how you can get stereotyped by your title; perhaps this would work for him this time; after all… He was now a Senior IT Consultant!
Chapter 31. Consultant, Senior Consultant, Principal
Smitty had tried many times to get a job. Now he just needed to move to a management position as quickly as possible before anyone realized how weak he was technically. So,following his new organization's guidelines exactly, he worked his way from Consultant to Senior Consultant to Principal and into Delivery and Project Management in less than a year. He had to pay some additional dues with long hours and knowledge cramming to accomplish this, but it was worth it in the end. He was making better money and he had left any questions about his technical abilities far behind. He was now running projects and teaching others how to do so. He supervised and coached new younger associates who had no idea that he was learning more from them then they were from him. It was an ideal time for Smitty to polish every skill he had acquired to date. After a couple years he had learned to run large projects and had many team members reporting to him. He had completed certifications in several project management methodologies and taught project management classes for the firm. Smitty had more titles at this company than any of the places he had worked so far. In addition to having the titles Consultant, Senior Consultant and Principal Consultant, he was also Engagement Manager, Delivery Manager, Career Development Manager, Project Manager and Coach! He only had one level to go and he had his sights set on it; Director. He was feeling more and more like he was qualified and would be good at helping run the organization. Once again, not completing his MBA came back to bite him, so he went back to the program in the evenings to finish it. It was a very ambitious plan to spend long days with the company work and three evenings a week on his Masters degree. After three months enduring this schedule he was blindsided by a health problem that his Doctor clearly defined as stress induced. After painting what Smitty thought was an exaggerated picture his Doctor ordered a week of bed rest. Bed rest! Smitty could not imagine how he could do this but his Doctor was adamant so he took a week off and did as he was told. After a few days of this however, he got extremely board and thought making a few phone calls to keep up with some of his network would not hurt. In the process of catching up with people Smitty stumbled onto what he could only describe as his “dream job”. He was headed back to Atlanta to move up in management with his old software company. It was the opportunity of a lifetime. A chance to use all that he had learned in an environment that he knew quite well with people and a city that he really missed. The rest recharged him and gave him time to plan his next move. He thought of his Mothers words many years ago; “the best time to look for a better job is when you have a better job”. In a few weeks he was back off to the Southland’s Hotlanta.
Smitty was immediately disappointed in this totally expected dream job. It was thrilling to be back in Atlanta again; particularly working for the old company that he loved so much, but it became readily apparent to him that it was very different now. True, some of the same people were still there and the software hadn’t changed that much but there was an air of make believe. It seemed to him everyone was just marking time. He wanted more than anything to be the one that might spur things on so he worked as hard as he could to promote the company and it’s products. The working environment was quite nice so he spent a lot of time in the office on weekends and after hours trying to come up with strategies that might grow the customer base. Unfortunately, he was out of his element in what was more of a sales position than the software expert role he was accustomed too. Despite this, he completed additional training in marketing and read every bit of marketing material he could get his hands on. After a few months he even felt like he knew how to do the job; but there didn’t really seem to be a job. The company just did not seem to be interested in improving the software and without a substantial investment all the product management in the world was not going to secure more customers. After about six months Smitty found himself sitting around the office most of the time with nothing to do. He was enjoying the atmosphere and people he knew, but the job was just down right boring. He filled his days doing research and trying to figure out something to make really old good products and new bad products more acceptable to end users. He maintained a software enhancement list and communicated with key industry people in hopes of a resurgence in company growth. At the nine month mark Smitty realized that the company was basically in survival mode. They had not kept pace with the ever changing software industry, and apparently upper level management totally understood this and planned to take the remaining customers maintenance dollars and invest it elsewhere. Smitty suspected that it was only a matter of time before his group would be downsized or eliminated. The daily mission of his product management group was to reduce the rate at which customers were giving up and moving on to another software solution. Smitty tried to make the best of this very unpleasant situation, but all he could think of was the previous “company purges” he had witnessed; how he hated that word. He knew it was coming but unlike the other times he didn’t think it was possible he would be spared this time. He was right; almost at his one year anniversary he got the word that his position was being eliminated. Fortunately he had already cleaned out his office in advance so no “zombie box walk”. He had known his boss for fifteen years and even mentored him into the business. It was unfortunate the duty of delivering the news to Smitty fell to him. Both were fighting back tears that day. Many other people were let go that awful day, many of them very close to him. As he said his goodbyes and was walking out the door he was reminded of a key lesson in life; “things are never the same when you go back”.
edit from here
Smitty was fully reminded once again about being stereotyped by job title when he got a call from one of his past students offering him another Product Manager position. Never one to say no to a job he took the position site unseen over the phone and reported to work the following Monday. He’d only been unemployed for a week so his work schedule habit was unaffected; in fact, he could get up a little later because the new work location was fifteen miles closer. Actually, it was a better position with more money and better benefits. He wasn’t sure about being close to sales again but the job was right there in front of him so he felt compelled to give it a whirl. It was at this point that Smitty had his first “feeling” about his ability to get jobs. He didn’t dwell on it; the thought was fleeting, he did not realize until many years later what that feeling meant.
This time stereotyping worked in Smitty’s favor. The job offered nice quarterly bonuses, plenty of time off and a terrific stock option plan. He was able to move up and away from the Atlanta rat race and get a new home practically on a big lake. All in all, being purged for the first time was working out pretty well for him. He bought stock in the company and made a nice return on investment which he then reinvested for an even better return. He bought a nice cabin cruiser secured a dock close to home. He felt like he was on a good roll and the general economy was rolling along with him. The company was growing rapidly and he was poised to make enough on his investments to pay off his house and boat quickly. He was feeling so settle and strong that he even started a savings and retirement plan; which was a huge step for him because he had never really given any thought to “settling down” until now. The only small problem Smitty had recognized was his disdain for the marketing end of the software business. It wasn’t long before Smitty’s boss noticed he was not much into the marketing end of his responsibilities. Smitty just could not quite understand how he could say the product did things that he knew it didn’t do and probably wouldn’t do for at least six months to a year; or never. He knew too much about how the software worked and how business used it. He was beginning to argue too much with the product management people above him about this but caught himself in time to go to his boss and ask for a transfer to product engineering. He felt like he could make a difference there; maybe even close the gap of what they were saying the product would do and actually helping make it a reality. Surprisingly, he not only got the job but an increase in pay! He was given the job of Senior Application Engineer. Ah, back to Senior again he thought; and he always wanted to be an Engineer. Now maybe he would get to run the train! Smitty jumped into his new role enthusiastically and was soon have the time of his life. He loved the new job. He was able to spend his days figuring out how the software could work to business operations requirements. He was exactly where he belonged. He thought back on all the positions and pondered about the best qualities of each of them. When his thoughts returned to the current job offer he concluded: “no manual labor, no sales or marketing, no make believe work, no project management, no people management, no suits and ties, no travel, no long hours, few meetings, and no real stress. It’s “full time pay for part time work”. His Father would be so proud. He paused for a silent prayer that this would be the last job he would ever have. Hopefully this was his last work/business lesson: “Never give up trying to be happy in your work.
Chapter 34. Senior Application Engineer
Somehow Smitty always knew he would have Engineer in his title someday. Finally away from Product Management after two long years his new position was everything he thought it would be. It was a terrific opportunity working with a wonderful group of highly motivated individuals; some he knew from previous employment. The company had given him exactly what he needed at exactly the right time in his life. Just when he felt totally burnt out and kind of trapped in a low-level management position he was freed! He was excited about his work again and felt good coming to work each day. It also didn’t hurt that he was living close to work and the job didn’t entail much travel. He had also burnt out on travel the last few years so he was additionally relieved of that chore. He knew there would never be another job as good as his teaching or hotel management years but this work was a solid 3rd for him and he was thankful for it. After a few months in the position he realized that his life had hit a perfect plain. He had purchased a nice house and boat fifteen minutes from his work in a beautiful setting; the work was easy, the pay great; hell even the weather was nice in northern Georgia. The company even provided free Yahoo and Mountain Dew; and they had a ping pong table; Smitty’s favorite game! He had arrived. The company was doing very well. There were new products and exciting functionality on the horizon, and he was a big part of it. He felt creative for the first time in his life. Instead of just working a job, he was living the job. He liked and respected everyone he worked with. There was no pettiness and very little politics going on. Everyone was happy where they were and with what they were doing. Thanks to a terrific surge in high tech software company growth everyone was also making great money. All the employees were also making money on the company’s stock. It seem like every desk Smitty visited somebody was making thousands of dollars on their investments; a few had even made close to half a million dollars. The amazing thing was that the folks earning this money were not executives or management people but programmers, analysts and engineers like Smitty. He had purchased company stock at eight dollars a share and sold it at eighty. There were so many companies to invest Smitty felt like he could make a lot of money by waiting and watching for the right opportunity. It only took a few weeks before he spotted a company that he believed would net him a huge gain. Everybody was watching web sites like MSN and placing buys and sells so Smitty decided to do the same. He had a broker but it was much simpler to just watch things online yourself so that’s what he did. He found out what the call sign was going to be for the company he was interested in and he watched for their IPO. If they came out at twenty dollars or less Smitty had set aside twenty thousand dollars to buy. He watched MSN religiously each day ready to jump on as much stock as he could afford. An entire month went by but the company had not yet gone public. Then one day in the ping pong room he shared his trepidation with a fellow engineer who quickly replied that he saw where they had already come out. He thought they came out around eighteen or twenty dollars; something like that. Smitty was in shock as he almost ran back to his desk; his friend in tow. He looked at the MSN for the call sign. It wasn’t there; his friend was mistaken thank God. Behind him and also looking at the screen his friend said “go over to the Yahoo site and look for it, I’m sure they IPO’d. Smitty switched sites and searched for the call sign and there it was! They came out over a week before $18.50 a share. They were now at $220! Smitty almost cried that day. His boat and house were going to be paid for. Over the next few weeks the stock continued to rise. He had missed the opportunity of a lifetime because he relied on a website instead of using his professional stock broker; his biggest lesson yet: “let professional people do their job whether it be plumbing, painting, carpentry or buying and selling stocks”. After a few days of feeling sorry for himself Smitty snapped out of it and chocked the experience up to “oh well”. At least he had a great job making good money. He would just have to watch for another potential investment and use his broker for sure. There were plenty of opportunities showing up everyday, he would just have to wait a little longer for the right one.
So Smitty consoled himself with the good thoughts that after all the employment changes in his life here he was with a great job, house, and boat; all in all life was good. He maintained his positive attitude and continued to look for an investment opportunity to replace the one he had lost. After a month of research he believed that the next time any online auctioning companies went public he would jump on one and make his fortune. This happen just a couple months later and Smitty put all of his investment dollars into what he believed was a sure thing; and it did start out that way. Just like many of the other staff members he was watching his investment take off. Once again he had visions of paying off the house and boat and living happily ever after. Then one day it happen; a thing that was being referred to by the media as “the dot com bust”! It seemed to Smitty lone day everybody was cheering like they were at a home game rout, and the next day they were crying like babies. Stocks were dropping at such a rate everyone was in shock. Most seemed to think it was a temporary downturn; but after a few weeks the picture was clear. Smitty’s Stockbroker referred to it as “a six month phenomena we may never see again in our lifetime” Taking his advice Smitty sold his stock quickly before it went to nothing. His dreams were crushed but he wasn’t alone; people all over the country were right there with him. Not only were high tech stocks plunging, many companies were going under; particularly startups like the one he was working for. Less than a month later the layoffs began. They weren’t even calling it a purge this time; staff was being reduced because they just did not have enough work to do. Smitty sat at his desk each week waiting his turn. He cleaned out his office so he wouldn’t have to take the zombie box walk when his time came; which it did in the last round right before they turned the lights off and locked the doors for the last time. The company went completely out of business. He could not believe it; what he consider employment bliss gone in just two years. After a few days of depression he began making calls to see if he could find somewhere to go. He was shocked to find out that everybody he knew was out of work. The enormity of the downturn began to sink in. He had lunch with a group of twenty two unemployed acquaintances not a single person had a line on a job. After that luncheon Smitty decided to take the only logical path to solving the problem. First, he would find a good bar to hang out at where there was a lot of construction workers. He figured if high tech was in the dumpster maybe he could find a low tech job. Once again his Mother’s words echoed in his brain “a job’s a job”.
It wasn’t long before Smitty met a guy at what became his favorite watering hole that built swimming pools and tennis courts. He did jobs for wealthy folks who paid him well for custom work. Smitty hadn’t done any actual manual labor since he was an oil field roughneck over twenty years ago but he figured why not try.
Smitty spent his unemployed days sitting at a bar talking with and listening to construction workers and local contractors. He soon found out that the going rate for laborers was about $8 – 9 an hour. This was a little shocking at first because he was a little more used to the $45-50 an hour range but he began to rationalize that working construction would at least cut down on his drinking and get him in better physical shape. I mean hell, he thought, I could save more than $8-9 an hour just by staying out of the bar each day. Following this line of thinking he rationalized that his net pay would actually be more like $16-!8 an hour when you considered the savings on booze. Plus, he could drop his spa membership and drive a lot less. By the time he added it all up he had turned a nine dollar an hour job into a twenty dollar an hour job. He later became quite proud of myself for coming up with such a great idea! Smitty really hated having the title laborer but he quickly realized that titles weren’t part of the world he was considering entering.
After he made the decision to enter the labor market he found himself immediately facing the disturbing fact that there weren’t that many labor jobs to be had and he was old, out of shape and had no previous experience save one story about helping build a screened-in porch 10 years before. Despite sharing the best stories of his painting, plumbing and sub-contractor days with his soon to be laborer cronies at the bar each day, he got the feeling that they (a) figured he was full of shit or (b) was not capable of doing anything anymore. After a couple weeks he realized a better strategy than sitting around the bar bullshitting was in order. What he needed was a good solid contact in the local labor world. It was either that, or he could take a chance on the local Hispanic crowd accepting me as a fellow “Stand-and-Wait” on one of their popular street corners. Somehow, he could not see himself huddled into the back of a speeding pick-up truck with a group of labor ready Mexicans. Not to in anyway take away from the work ethic or gardening talents of this resourceful segment of society, but like his other pursuits in life he had a burning desire to personalize his labor experience. If he could just befriend one older contractor and explain himself honestly he thought…. someone who actually believed he could do construction work and would hire him on a trial basis. He was not foolish enough to believe he would magically adjust to construction work nor was he going to give up his unemployment check without a trial run. After several weeks of bar flying he met just the kind of person he was looking for. Someone he could be straight honest with regarding his terrible physical condition but would also listen to his sincere desire to give manual labor a try. His name was Tom and he totally embodied all that a construction worker should be. He was strong and tan from working outside and he had a bearing about him that said “I’m a real man”. He seemed to have an unlimited amount of energy which Smitty later marveled at when he was working along side of him. Tom became Smitty’s friend over time.
When Smitty’s new drinking buddy Tom offered him a job helping him build clay tennis courts Smitty thought “hell yes, after all, I’m able-bodied”. He later found out that this was absolutely not true. There was nothing able bodied about him; maybe his fingers were in shape from using a keyboard and his vocal chords worked quite well from slinging bullshit most of his life, but other than that he had no physical strength whatsoever. When he arrived at the construction site on that first day he never considered the possibility that he might be physically unable to perform laborious tasks for extended periods of time, which he and Tom quickly determined was about fifteen minutes. Regardless of this discovery Tom was patient and kind and helped Smitty break into labor gradually. What an exhilarating feeling he had that first day; a real construction site with porta-pottys and everything. His new friend and boss was there to greet him and quickly began to teach him the business of building clay tennis courts from the ground up which he quickly learned meant digging a lot. Clay courts actually have plumbing that runs underneath them! He never knew that. In fact, he never knew there was such a thing as a clay tennis court until that very day. He was amazed at how much detail was involved in constructing such a playing surface. There was digging, and grating and digging and leveling and digging. Since he did not have much experience operating a Commercial Grader or Laser Leveler his assignments usually had to do with digging. He was pretty good at digging for the first half hour or so. In fact, he was consumed with the work and determined to show his boss who referred to him as a “computer jockey” that he could excel in the ditch digging arena. After about 45 minutes at his new found talent he began to feel a little twinge in his lower back. At first he thought a bug might have crawled up inside his shirt for an early morning meal but after about 5 minutes he realized that it was more than that. Like a good new troop he went and talked to Tom about this. He was quite helpful and told Smitty that based on his experience the best thing to do was to switch to something else for awhile until the pain in that area subsided a little. Smitty readily agreed with Tom’s his on-the-spot diagnosis of his condition and enthusiastically requested a new assignment. He was amazed at how quickly he was able to find something to do that did not aggravate his existing condition. His new assignment consisted of moving mounds of dirt and rock from one end of the planned court to the other using a wheel barrow. Of course, there was a little shoveling associated with this but the wheel barreling kind of broke up the exercise so that his back would get a breather from time to time. He was able to do this for nearly an hour before his entire back began to feel kind of hot. Fortunately it was just about this time when Tom came by to see how he was doing and suggested they take a break. Considering that he had been at it for almost two hours and was feeling very close to death at this point he agreed that maybe a few minutes rest was in order. After about the fastest 15 minutes he could ever remember it was back to work wheeling and shoveling. Somehow Smitty made it through a long hour until lunch when he fully intended to tell Tom thanks but he was quitting before he ended up in the hospital. Before he could tell Tom the bad news he came by and suggested he and Smitty go across the street to a supermarket and eat in the deli. Smitty thought this would be a good setting to tell Tom he had enough; he would even pick up the lunch tab and tell him to forget about any pay for the work he had done; it certainly wasn’t much. Smitty had never eaten at a supermarket deli before and was quite surprised at the robust menu they had there. He had never really never thought much of these eating places in the past but today it looked like a four star restaurant to him. Mashed potatoes, meatloaf, vegetables, macaroni and cheese, chicken, pies, cakes. Man, they had everything and he had not felt this hungry in years. He really loaded up and was pigging out so fast he totally forgot about the conversation he had planned to have with Tom. While he was eating Tom began talking about how the job was moving along good and he really appreciated Smitty giving it a try. He said he knew how bad Smitty was hurting and promised to give him an easy afternoon ending early on his first day. After this Smitty didn’t have the heart to tell Tom he was giving up so he finished lunch and went back to work. True to his word Tom took it easy all afternoon with lots of breaks; and sent Smitty home at three instead of four. The temperature had reached 92 in Georgia that afternoon and Smitty never felt anything as relieving as his car air conditioner on the way home. Somehow, he made it through that first day and hot backbreaking afternoon and three weeks more before thank God he got a job offer that fit his skills and physical capabilities a little better. He was a little sad to leave the construction world though. Tom and he had become quite close and most of his initial pain had subsided; he was actually getting in physical shape but 10 bucks an hour for digging and wheeling barreling got quickly trumped by a $45 and hour desk job. Another lesson learned; know your limitations.
Miraculously, Smitty was the first in his out of work lunch group to find a job. This time was a whole different twist though. Apparently because he had “Manager” in his title quite a bit the last few year he got a call to “Manage”. He hoped it was not a management position connect to sales or marketing because he would hate to break his perfect record of saying yes to job offers with a “hell no”; particularly in a big time employers market. Fortunately it was a straight up project management position; even better it was a Program Manager job which meant he would have project managers reporting to him. He like the idea of leaving the detail work to junior project managers. In fact when he thought it over it was what he should be doing; after all, he had been a Principal Consultant with a big consulting company and had run many projects, why not. The only thing that concerned him a bit was he had realized five jobs ago that he wasn’t the management type. Once again Smitty could not say know to a good job with great benefits, even though he knew from day one it wasn’t a good fit for him. As he sat down with his new boss on his first day trying to give her orientation dialog his full attention his mind could not help wandering to the thought; how did I get here; two dream jobs ago I could not imagine this! After suffering two terrible layoffs in a row and watching a company go from exciting and strong to out of business Smitty now found himself working on a contract basis for a large payroll and benefits provider. Payroll and benefits; he didn’t know anything about this area of business; yet here he was managing managers. Well, he thought; they offered the job and I accepted it so I must be able to do it. He set to work to learn, learn, learn again at a rapid pace. In just a couple weeks he had established a master project plan encompassing all active and planned projects on the horizon. He quickly realized that program management wasn’t hard at all. All you have to do is establish an unreasonable schedule with outrageous target completion dates, then bug the shit out of everybody everyday in hopes of reaching goals and getting your bonus. Great job except for the fact that most everybody hates your guts and tries to hide when they see your coming. Not exactly the job for a gregarious kind mid-western guy but Smitty did his best. Despite his efforts though it wasn’t long before he got extremely bored with sitting everyday staring at and updating a project master plan. He also had a very familiar bad feeling about the job which came to him after the first month; he felt like an Insurance Man again! That was it he thought; people hate to see me coming and they don’t want to talk about what I want to talk about. Yep, I’m back in the insurance business eighteen jobs ago! Smitty wondered if he would have to leave this job and go pump gas again! With this fear in mind Smitty decided that know matter how bored to disliked he was he was going to stick with this job no matter what. The company was mostly about electronic data interchange which he knew a little about but he would learn damn it. Providing guidance and good methods for others was right up his alley with all the experience he had gained over the years. He knew if he did things right in this position he would be offered a permanent position at some point and it would most likely be at the Director level. He figured this was a pretty good place to be; particularly for a guy that was digging ditches a couple months ago. Coincidentally, after being on board for a couple months Smitty found out that there were a couple people he had worked with years ago when he was a teacher at the software company nine jobs and twelve years ago. Turned out that both were Vice Presidents at the company. Smitty found out later that this was why he got the call for the job. He should have know it wasn’t his great resume; he had wondered about this since being hired. Sneaky little devils he thought. It was comforting to Smitty that others who had come down the job path before him. However, when he spoke with them he found out that they had only one or two jobs since he last met them. What slackers he thought. He then pondered over the fact that they were now VPs and he was only a Manager? Three months later, Smitty’s phone rang and was ask if he would come to Ohio for a job interview. Smitty couldn’t believe it; he had been trying to get a job at this particular company for ten years. He had even worked as a contractor there before moving to Atlanta. Although he could not imagine changing jobs again after just a few months, he figured he had better at least go to the interview and see what it was about. The company had a large footprint in Columbus Ohio and he did have children and grandchildren living there. Even before he flew up for the interview he could feel the magnetic pull of his home state and family. As he imagined it was a wonderful job in a very modern setting located in a terrific location. If he got the job he could easily live in the country and commute to it in thirty minutes. When he returned to Atlanta after the interview he couldn’t help but get mentally prepared for a possible job offer; which came a week later. He said yes of course; why break a perfect record. Smitty hated to leave his home and boat but hell he didn’t get them paid for anyhow. As he pulled out of his driveway on moving day he said out loud: “oh my God; Ohio – Atlanta – Ohio – Atlanta – Ohio; I’m a damn gypsy! It couldn’t get any crazier than this but at least I finally get my retirement job. It’s a perfect fit in a company I’m familiar with around many people I have know for years. If only Smitty would have had a crystal ball at this point he would have never ventured back north! What he thought was finally an end to his trail of jobs was just beginning.
Chapter 37. Manager, Contract Systems
It took Smitty over ten years of networking to land this job in the purchasing department of a large mid-western bank back much closer to his home and family. It was a solid organization with a terrific growth record and a modern work environment. He was closely acquainted with a number of people that worked there including his own son. He had tried numerous times over the years to get on with the company but the stars had never aligned. He always felt that a job with this company would be the one he would retire from. He believed that fifteen years before and he still did; in fact, it was mainly why he left a rather good job and moved back North. Strange how things happen he thought; just when he was feeling lucky in his new position he got a call from an old co-worker that felt like the time was right for him to join the bank and informed him that a position was open that would fit him perfectly. Although he had only been in his current contract job for a couple months, he could not ignore this opportunity to move back to Ohio, put down some roots again and make the run to retirement with what he so hoped would be his final job. The salary and benefits were excellent and they even offered a pension plan, a rarity these days. Finally, back to some semblance of order, Smitty thought. He would be close to his children and now grandchild. Smitty felt like he was totally making the right decision for all the right reasons. The company even bought Smitty’s home in Georgia and financed his new house in the Ohio country side. It had been a long journey with too many jobs and moves but Smitty had finally found the exact right position in the perfect company and location. He was able to bring all his procurement and systems experience together now and he knew he could make a huge difference in his role there and he set about to do just that. He went back to his old standard work schedule seven-to-seven everyday. He put his head down and learned everything about the systems and system users quickly. In just a few weeks he was comfortable with the job and knew how to improve things. Then, at the two month mark something happen that he could have never imagined in his wildest thoughts. Even though based on his job ride so far he had come to expect almost anything he was totally blindsided and baffled buy this one; his new boss was insane. Not just insane in the comical sense but really actually nuts; like needing therapy bonkers. Over the years Smitty had many supervisors and co-workers he didn’t necessarily see eye to eye with but he always managed to establish an acceptable level of communication and mutual respect. There were times when he wanted to punch a few passive aggressive types lights out but he coped and things usually improved. This was not to be the case here. He had never ever dealt with an actual psychopath before so none of his Carnegie wisdom was working. He understood her project management methods because he had learned them himself; “set unreasonable schedules and then bug the shit out of people to fulfill them”. He could live with that, but this was a person who insulted people, pounded on desks and threw little temper tantrums. She tended to dominate conversations, interrupt people when they were trying to talk to her and acted at all times like the world revolved around her intellect. She even walked aggressively; wearing solid heeled boots planted firmly with each step. The staff was in complete agreement that she had missed her calling by seventy years; she would have made a great Gestapo Colonel in WWI. Each day Smitty tried to figure out a way to communicate and cope with her to no avail. He finally went to her superior and talked to other higher level people he knew. What he found out was that they were afraid of her. Apparently, her baring was intimidating even those above her in the organization. They didn’t know how to deal with her anymore than Smitty did. After this Smitty knew that his long sought after retirement job might be ruined by this person if he could not find a way around this nut case. The only saving grace was that her boss knew the situation and was also trying to figure out how to deal with it. She had even told Smitty to hand in there because she would not be around that much longer. So Smitty did his best to avoid her but she was in his face regularly, making un-reasonable demands, insulting the staff and creating bad feelings wherever she went. She ran over people and made them cower when she walked up to their desks or into their departments. Smitty went to Human Resources to get the situation on record. Everyone he talked to was aware of the problem but all assumed her days were numbered and the issues would go away then. Smitty hoped and prayed that something would happen soon for fear she would drag him down with her when she fell. After all, he thought, she hired me! He had no sooner had this thought than she showed up at his desk with a ridiculous assignment that had an impossible target completion date. Smitty knew it was a setup. That was when he made a huge political mistake; he lost his temper; a no-no in the workplace. He had no choice but to accept the assignment but the first chance he had he let her know how ridiculous her actions were. She began her slamming around and tough guy act and Smitty gave it right back to her. He had taken it upon himself to be the one to stand up to her and tell her exactly what everyone thought. He thought back to early management training from his Mother; “you can’t call yourself a Manager if you’re not willing to put your job on the line for what you believe in”. Well, Mom may have been a little too strong on that one because after he laid it on the line to her she went on a campaign to make him look bad in everyway she could. She may have been crazy but she was not stupid; in fact she was very smart. She knew her politics even if they were misguided. Smitty continued his own efforts to leverage support from his own network. He even made a good contact in another department that tried to help him get a transfer out of the department was in; thus freeing himself from the crazy lady until she was let go. Unfortunately, his timing was off; in just a few short weeks she had taken steps to let him go which was her prerogative since she was the hiring manager. Smitty made another trip to Human Resources and met with her boss but they all turned their back on him. Unless he could get a quick transfer away from her it looked like he was doomed. The thought of his long sought after retirement job going down the tubes due to one individual’s mental problem was more than he could cope with. Finally, she attempted to fire him but he knew that her boss would protect him because she had indicated this the two times Smitty had with her. However, to his surprise she did a 360 on him and backed the nutcase when push came to shove. Smitty knew he was finished at that point. He found out later through his network that Corporate management had never really approved of her hiring Smitty. She had ram-rotted the whole thing through HR using her Gestapo manner. HR would not put a stop to the firing because Smitty was still on a hiring probation period as a condition of employment; he was unaware existed at his entry level. It was all Smitty could do to hold his head up and request the backstabbing crazy lady’s boss to at least let him leave with a little dignity intact. He guessed she felt guilty enough to let him leave quickly. He was devastated the day he walked out of there and knew he would never look at any job the same way again. On the drive home he wondered if he would ever trust anything anyone ever said to him again regarding employment. He found out a couple months later that the psycho lady was let go; probably to the cheering of a great number of people. If only he could have hung in there somehow? He had a happenstance meeting with one of his co-managers shortly after the debacle and confirmed that she had indeed hired him by running roughshod over and around everyone including her own VP. This explained why she had not supported him when the attempted dismissal went down. The crazy lady had pulled off the hiring of Smitty while there was an upper level management change going on and just bugged HR and everybody involved until she got her way.
This was the first time Smitty had ever thought about killing a person in his life. How do people like that woman get jobs? You would think they would get flagged at some point but then Smitty thought a minute and realized from his own experience that getting jobs is easy; holding them was another thing altogether. This was the second time he had a hint of what was to come but did not fully recognize it at the time. If there was any lesson learned from this devastating experience Smitty thought it had to be: There are crazy people out there, watch out for them.
Out of work again Smitty sat quietly at his desk and pondered over the many jobs and all the ups and downs he had experienced to date. He knew from the number of purges, layoffs, company downturns and now outright firing that there had to be something important that he could take away from it all. He decided to make a serious study of everything that he had done to see if he could find a common thread that he might use to his advantage going forward. He examined the job descriptions, hiring processes and interviews he went through. He went all the way back twenty jobs or so and analyzed everything he had in his files and all that he could remember. While looking at one of his job notebooks he found a matrix tucked into the back page that he had long since forgotten. It had been provided to him by one of those post purges companies that help the purged employee find a new job. Smitty remembered this one in particular because he had taken advantage of their offices and attended a number of sessions there. The matrix had to do with finding the right career by using a combination of test results and life experiences; he remember thinking at the time that it was a good approach for someone beginning their career. He dismissed it at the time because he felt like it was for beginners, not an experienced professional like himself. Now he was thinking what am I if not a beginner? He looked deep into his office files and found the rest of the package that supported the matrix and began filling in the blanks as though he was a young person trying to figure out what career would be best for him. The methodology took him back through his basic interests, provided a test to see what he might be good at, and slowly worked its way to providing him a list of careers that fit his intellect, ambitions and likes. He tried not to think about or influence the process by his age or experiences in life; he wanted it to be truly raw like he was just getting out of school and starting out in life. When he finished the process and reviewed the results he was surprised that the career paths recommended were not even close to what he had been doing the last twenty years. In fact they were almost the opposite. Basically the methodology had produced the picture of a person that was not that ambitious but a willing to work hard. Not a management type or someone with a desire to move up in the ranks; but more of a follower. A person that is easily satisfied with regular work on a regular schedule with no responsibilities other than doing what he is told. The list of career possibilities presented included almost exclusively light manual labor careers in maintenance of some kind like pest control, lawn and garden work or general construction jobs like carpenter, electrician, painter, plumber, roofer. There was a general section that stated “this individual would be happy working as a bus driver, janitor roofer, factory worker. He/she is not a career minded individual but is more interested in living in a carefree way; working because it is necessary.
Smitty spent the next several days thinking about the results of the analysis and wondering how much of this was really true of him. What if it was right on the money? He thought back to when he was the happiest in his work life and it was when he was working regular jobs with regular schedules. Could it be that he had just drifted off the path little by little without realizing how far away from his basic self he had migrated? He almost stayed in the Air Force. He really liked the maintenance work until he became the boss. His favorite job before he got on the businessman trail was working in the hotel and restaurant where he was serving others.
Damn, I’ve been doing things that are not natural for me for twenty years. This last few weeks of unemployment and analysis of the last twenty years of jobs brought him to a startling conclusion; what that he now understood had been hinted to him before; he wasn’t good at the jobs he had landed, he was just good at landing jobs. By having so many jobs he had gotten extremely skilled at writing resumes, finding jobs, interviewing and getting offered work. This is why he could never turn down a job. His real job ended the moment he got the job offer. That was the game he had been playing without realizing it. He wasn’t very good at any of the jobs because he didn’t really want or need responsibility. He would have been just as happy working in a factory on a production line doing the same thing everyday. It’s the picture he watched during his youth; all his family going to work and returning home each day. It was a paycheck; it had nothing to do with career, it was just a job; that’s all he ever wanted; a good steady job!
After some more analysis, soul searching and a rather long discussion with his wife Smitty decided he would go to work in a factory. He knew the pay was going to be horrible starting out but maybe he could get enough overtime for a while to adjust to the change. After a one week search of the local area he set his sights on a Japanese auto parts manufacturer. He knew he could get a job there because he realized now that his number one talent was finding and securing employment. He was tested, interviewed and hired within a week. He was oriented and provided with a uniforms in less than a week, then assigned to a production line where his job was to use a pneumatic wrench to put metal covers on catalytic converters. The only downside to the job was everyone had to start on the graveyard shift 11-7 until they achieved some seniority. Smitty figured he could deal with this for a while; he had worked the nightshift at the hotel years ago and kind of enjoyed it. Plenty of daytime golf he thought. So eleven to seven with two ten minute breaks and a half hour lunch period; not a problem he surmised.
So Smitty settled into his new chosen profession of Factory Worker. He was wholly committed to the analysis results he had acquired and joined labor ranks. His new company was a very clean, efficient, fast paced operation paying ten dollars an hour to start. Not much money but good benefits and opportunity to make more as he added more skills like welding or machining. He figured as soon as they realized what he was capable of he would probably get a shot at moving into the office and away from labor. He had even talked to them about this during the hiring process and they were receptive except they indicated that he would most likely have to do a year in production first. He thought he would actually enjoy a year or even more working the production lines. Easy work, regular schedule he thought, piece of cake.
The first thing Smitty realized after just a few hours at the company was that there was suddenly nothing unique about himself. He hadn’t thought about that until that minute. In every single thing he had done in life so far, however odd, he had always felt somewhat unique. Now he suddenly felt like prisoner 078432. After a week of training he was assigned to catalytic converter line 2. His job was to put aluminum covers on the converters after taking them off a moving conveyor belt and placing them in a holder. He was taught to use a pneumatic socket wrench that was suspended in the air in front of him on a bungee cord. After the first 4 days his right wrist, fingers, arm and shoulder were in severe pain. He figured he would eventually work through this so he pressed on hoping to get through day five and get a two night break to heal up. This kept him going right up until the company announced they were going to mandatory overtime and he had to work Saturday as well.
Smitty was familiar with Japanese companies, having visited and evaluated a few during his Purchasing Agent days, but experiencing one first hand on a daily basis was something different. Everybody wore the same uniforms no matter what their role or position. There were no assigned parking places or special offices. It was truly a collective approach. Everybody was equal and focused on the goal of producing product as quickly and efficiently as possible. Smitty like the concept but he quickly learned that it was a pretty hectic operation. Everything seem to be running a little faster than he felt it should. The focus on accomplishing things rapidly was countered with rework and bottlenecks created by the difference between fast workers and slower workers. He had spent so much of his work life doing analysis work he could not help but notice these type of issues. He kept telling himself that he was just a production line worker but it was hard for him to not recognize flawed processes. Each day he wondered why nobody else seem to notice these things. He asked himself; did they not care? were they satisfied with the way things were running? Were they making so much money they didn’t feel a need to improve? As Smitty stood on the line putting aluminum covers on catalytic converters each night his mind wandered into how he would lay out different processes like his. During his coffee and lunch breaks he attempted to chat with other workers regarding the way the line he was working could be improved. They all seem to think these things were being worked on by someone else. However, when Smitty went through company orientation he was told that “continuous improvement” was a big initiative. Now that he was several days into his new job he felt compelled to point out to his supervisor what he was sure were obvious improvements to the flow of product on his line. He soon found out that this was the wrong thing to do. After his talk with the supervisor during the next coffee break one of his line co-workers approached him and told him flatly to mind his own business and do his job. Smitty was completely blindsided by this; he actually felt somewhat threatened. After he got home the next morning and thought the incident over he realized his mistake; this was not a professional environment like he was accustomed to. He was a simple worker on a production line that working fine. The other members of the line had been there for several years. Who was he to question how thing were being done; he was brand new. He would apologize during the next shift and hope all would be forgotten; the last thing he wanted was to create an issue with anyone at this point. The next shift he said he was sorry for disrupting things and explained that he had previously worked in an analysis capacity and didn’t mean to upset the applecart; and further stated he would run any thoughts by the rest of the line team before bringing them up to management. Unfortunately, Smitty’s apology did not do it. After a couple days he realized that he was being frozen out by the other team members. Not only did they not talk to him; the one guy who had told him to mind his own business began loading up his work station in a way that it appeared Smitty was not keeping up. Even some of the other workers began to feel a little sorry for Smitty, which he was having trouble dealing with. Also, after the first five nights Smitty started having a problem with his hands and wrists. They had warned him about this during orientation and gave him exercised to do to get through it. They also stated that he could ask for a different job during his first thirty days if he couldn’t get past any pain he experienced. Smitty felt like he could get used to his job if only his asshole team member would quit loading him up and then complaining to the supervisor that he was holding up production. Smitty had also found out by overhearing people talk in the lunchroom that although the company professed to allowing new employees to switch to different jobs it was not really acceptable to the people working the lines. The formal verses the informal system Smitty remembered from his many years of training and experience. During the second week the overall picture crystallized for Smitty; he was a stranger in a strange land. He didn’t belong and everybody knew it. He couldn’t just magically become a factory worker. No matter what his career methodology analytical study results were, he hadn’t counted on not being accepted by his peers. He was not one of them; he was educated, experienced and worldly. No matter how he attempted to fit in people saw right through his disguise. Smitty had also realized in very short order that he was old, tired easily, and had no patience for this atmosphere. The people around him were living everyday in a world that he knew nothing about. It hadn’t take them or him long to figure out that he was not meant for factory work. A few people even thought he was a spy for management! He kind of wished he was a spy, it would have made the job much more interesting. He lasted ten nights. He might have made it longer if he asked for another job but he knew that wouldn’t be right. He didn’t belong there. He turned in his uniforms at the end of his shift, wrote them a letter of apology and requested that his pay for the two weeks be withheld to help cover the time and expense of on-boarding him. They paid him anyway. What was I thinking trying to take a job like this with my experience and at my age and why did they offer it to me? Because I am skilled at getting jobs not doing jobs….he thought. Smitty drove away thinking that he had just given up an income when he had not other prospects; his Mother had taught him better; but he also remembered her telling him that “desperation is not the mode you want to be in when job hunting”.
Chapter 39. Janitor, Cook, Bartender
After saying goodbye to the nice Japanese folks Smitty did the only thing a man in his position could think of; go to a bar and drink himself in to a stupor. The problem was that there are not too many bars open at 8 o’clock in the morning; not even his trusty VFW club. With this thought in mind he decided he’d drive by there anyhow; maybe somebody would be cleaning or mowing and let him in; he was a big tipper. The door was locked but he went around back and when he got there he found one car in the parking lot which he recognized as Steve’s the club manager; he luckily caught Steve taking out the trash. He greeted him jovially and ask him what he was doing there so early in the morning. Steve laughed and said “hell I have to do everything around here”. Smitty told him he had just bailed from his factory job after two weeks so he was pretty much available now if he needed any help. Steve bit like a hungry bass and jumped right on Smitty’s meant to be casual statement. He ask Smitty if he would be interested in helping him out around the club and although every fiber of his being was saying no thanks his mouth came out with an involuntary “yes”. He couldn’t believe it; now some unknown force had taken over him and was controlling his response to job offers. Why the hell would he take a job at the VFW club; it just didn’t make a bit of sense. I need to find a good psychiatrist, he thought; but then he reasoned; this is a record though; I’ve been out of work for less than two hours and I have another job already! Since he was probably going to be hanging out at this place for God knows how long he may as well get paid something while he was at it. So Smitty went to work on the spot helping Steve clean and prep the club for the normal eleven am opening. He then accompanied Steve shopping during the afternoon after which they came back to the bar and drank for free the rest of the day. As Smitty was starting on his third gratis beer he was thinking this is a pretty good job! He went home to break the bad news and good news to his wife; I quit my job this morning at seven am but I got another job at eight fifteen! So Smitty showed up at the VFW club every morning at 8am and helped Steve clean and prep. After a week Steve gave him a key and Smitty was on his own each day. Steve would show up right before opening and Smitty would have the place ship-shape and ready to go. Smitty did such a good Job Steve pretty much let him do anything he wanted. Smitty started several projects cleaning out clutter storerooms, painting and organizing the place. Sometimes he went shopping for supplies by himself. Under Steve’s tutelage he started doing a little cooking and bartending. He found he could make a little extra money working the bar when needed. Steve paid him his regular hourly rate even though he was getting tips because he was not actually on the books as a Bartender. However, when the daytime Bartender quit a month later Smitty started tending bar weekdays. This meant that he had a forty hour week going in no time. The club also had gambling which he became quite proficient at promoting. Not only was he getting nice tips from the big winners when he was working, after work he was allowed to play the games himself. He didn’t cheat and write down the winners he gave out but he had a pretty good feel for which games to play based on those he gave out through the day. He was pulling down at least an extra hundred every week and sometimes more. This job just keeps getting better and better he thought. He also found that he liked the quiet mornings each day. He began to think that Janitorial work and bartending might be his calling. He had excellent early training from his Grandmother and Mother, a cleaning lady and a beauty expert and he was able to do two of his favorite things everyday; drink and bullshit. So $10 an hour plus tips. Not nearly as hard as working on the assembly line and much closer to home. He did however have great respect for those that came in the club wearing their white uniform, and he always gave them a beer on the house. The job was certainly a far cry from the forty to fifty dollars an hour he used to make but he had already reserved himself to a life of poverty when he took the factory job. At least now he was enjoying himself while making poverty level wages. After a couple months working at the VFW Smitty was completely comfortable doing anything that came his way there. He even installed a security systems and converted the bookkeeping over to a computer which he himself provided. All was going quite well for him despite the lower income which he was adjusting to. Then his phone rang one day and a Recruiter asked him if he could come to Detroit and watch over some projects while the Project Manager went on maternity leave. $48 an hour just to attend her meetings and take notes for three months! As usual Smitty had to say yes. He just didn’t seem capable of turning down a job offer particularly one that was just temporary. He could bank some money then maybe get his job back at the club after. Turned out this was just not meant to be. Smitty looked back many jobs later and thought; when you are down and being kicked maybe the best thing to do is just lay there and see if you can get used to the pain.
Ah Michigan, land of the gray skies and orange barrels. Also the heart of the American automobile business which little did Smitty know at the time was going to rejuvenate his lost career. Apparently something had gone awry with a contractor assignment in this company’s IT department and they needed somebody in a hurry to fill the void; they basically hired him after one phone interview. They were offering a three month contract to manage a few projects while the regular project manager was off on maternity leave. As much as he hated to leave his janitorial, burger slinging and bartending position he figured he wouldn’t be missed for a few months while he made the equivalent of a years worth of income. So three days after the phone call Smitty found himself sitting at a desk in the IT department of an eight billion dollar a year tier one auto parts manufacturer. He had always loved manufacturing so it was an interesting assignment for him. He quickly found out that they were totally serious about him just babysitting the absent manager’s projects. All he really had to do for three months was keep the project files up to date, attend a few meetings and just keep the momentum of the her projects going. Since Smitty was an administrative type by nature this was a snap for him. In no time at all he had everything ship shape and planned to kick back and ride out the contract. Other than a slight longing to shoot the breeze with his bar cronies back home he felt Of course the three hour drive to Detroit every week was kind of a drag but he found a nice hotel and settled in. After about a month of this routine though he started to get a little bored with just sitting around and attending a few meetings. Nobody really demanded anything of him or even knew him for that matter, which meant he had about six hours a days to kill. After a whole month of this he was beginning to look for ways to fill his long days. He decided to use the time wisely to organize all of the tools and methodologies he had used at various companies and projects over the years. He did not realize it at the time but this effort began something that radically affected the next ten years of his life. After spending a week or so going over his past project work he chatted with the Project Manager that was on leave and her boss and shared a few ideas regarding the use of some of the tools and templates on the open projects he was tending to. The had no issues whatsoever with Smittys ideas so he began introducing some of the tools at a few of the project meetings he was sitting in on. The other team members liked his ideas and changes also. In fact several of them ask him for copies of various templates and wanted to hear more about his project management methodologies. Although he never really fancied himself as a great project manager he did have a lot of experience by this time and had accumulated a large file of project management stuff. Within a couple weeks Smitty had become the department go to guy for just about any template, tool, spreadsheet, presentation graphic and methodology. Other Project Managers were asking him to sit in on their meetings. The Vice President of the department had him building PowerPoint presentations for his high level strategy meetings. Smitty found that he could be quite dynamic when the end state of a project was not his responsibility. He wondered if that was where he had gone wrong over the years as a Project Manager; he just needed to teach others how to do the job. When he thought about, this made perfect sense; if you are mediocre at something the best way to improve is to teach others how to do what you cannot. With this in mind he began to using everything he had learned over the last twenty years sharing it freely with those around him. It came as somewhat of a surprise to him how readily people accepted his ideas and were looking to him for leadership; after all, he was just having some fun while waiting for his three month assignment to be over. Then, the most amazing thing happen, the department Vice President came to Smitty and asked him if he would like a full time job as the Program Manager, Supply Chain Technologies; with a promised promotion to Director shortly thereafter. What a surprise! Smitty was so complemented by the fact that somebody actually appreciated him after the last few years of corporate beatings he had taken he jumped at the chance. The money was awesome and the pension plan was incredible. He couldn’t believe his good luck. An officer position with this company would set him up for the rest of his life. He would be able to achieve the dream of retiring from a solid manufacturing company. He would have an office again, a parking space, the respect he once had and lost. He never gave any thought to the fact that he lived a hundred and fifty miles away. He would just have to relocate that’s all. As he was signing the wonderful job offer he thought; wow, boredom is a helluva motivator!
Chapter 41. Program Manager, Supply Chain Technologies
When you least expect it a really great opportunity can just pop up. Freshly off the nice win of being one of the first people in the department in a while to actually put a project into production, Smitty was feeling pretty good about himself. He had a two week holiday behind him and he had a shiny new job at Corporate Headquarters with good pay, good benefits, even a retirement program again. There was hope after all. All he had to do was figure out how and when to relocate to Michigan and he was off to the races. Smitty looked for all the signs of a company that would have layoffs and downsizing on its horizon and he didn’t see any. Although, he had been tricked many time before; by now he knew nothing was for sure but he at least had hopes again. After some thought he decided it would be best to try an apartment on his own for a while before selling his house and moving. The last thing he wanted to happen was another surprise job loss, particularly when he was living in a place that’s economy was based on a generally down turned automotive industry. Even though the company had no history of layoffs and most people there reassured him that a job there was a job for life Smitty decided his best world was to stay optimistically cautious. It did seem like most everyone that worked there had been with the company for over ten years; many had been there twenty or more. Smitty reasoned that was why his new ideas and methods were so well received; these people were set in their ways. He was concerned that his being on board as a full-time employee would reduce the receptive nature of his co-workers he decided to continue his effort to introduce change. He knew from his past experiences and a great deal of change management training that ideas from a consultant are more readily considered valuable than if they come from a fellow worker. He also knew that there were people within and outside of his new department that had there own sacred cows. So Smitty set about doing the exact things he did as a contractor and which seemed to please everyone. After a few weeks of surprising cooperation Smitty began to get a little suspicious. This can’t be right he thought; people just don’t accept change this easily. Day by day he attempted to meticulously manage each project and project manager in a professional manner introducing tools, techniques and templates as appropriate. Part of his job was strategic in nature which was new to him and he was struggling somewhat with that. Otherwise things seemed to be moving on quite well. His new boss was promoted from Sr. Director to VP on schedule and the group looked to be pretty solid. Smitty settled into his new temporary apartment with plans to relocate later on as he got settled into the job and his wife finished up her teaching obligations in Ohio. However, after about six months he began to get a bad feeling about the company and his group. Fortunately he had recently learned the hard business lesson: “There are allot of crazy people out there, watch for them”, he recognized that his newly promoted boss was one of them. As time went by he realized more and more that his VP seemed to be playing some kind of management game he was unfamiliar with. It almost seemed to Smitty like he was playing good cop - bad cop except he was doing both roles alternatively. Smitty was finding it more difficult everyday to communicate with him and satisfy his ever changing demands. He knew he needed to understand the guy better so he forged a couple relationships with staff members who had been with the company for a long time in hopes of getting some tips on how to deal with him. What he found confirmed his worst fears; the guy was screwy; did know what he wanted; was over his head in the VP position and would most likely be let go soon. Damn, this sounds familiar Smitty thought. It was long before Smitty experienced the craziness first hand. The guy threw a temper tantrum and chewed Smitty out right in the middle of the department with staff all around. Then he was at a meeting when the VP got belligerent with the Chief Information Officer. He tended to be argumentative and demanding in a way that Smitty just could not quite grasp. The man was hung up on revising PowerPoint presentations to an outrageous level and did not seem to like taking suggestions from his direct reports. Slowly, Smitty could feel the gap between his and his boss’s management philosophies widening. He knew he had to get away from the guy quickly or his newly found dream job was going to be another casualty. He quickly put together a strategy to try to save himself. The first thing he did was delay his relocation plans and move from his apartment back to the hotel where he knew the CIO stayed. He knew the CIO and his VP did not see eye to eye so he thought if he could get to know him casually he might open up a little and tell him what was going on with the out of control VP. Secondly, he began making as many trips as possible to the a division of the company which was also where the CIO lived. He also befriended a long time Director there that was also having problems working with his crazy VP. Smitty hoped that all this would lead him to a transfer from corporate and away from PowerPoint Man. After about a month he was starting to gain some ground with this strategy while at the same time his boss seemed to be getting more crazy and confrontational. Smitty could feel the pressure to get the hell out of there before something bad happen. His VP had even warned him that departmental cutback were possible which he didn’t believe but was still concerned about. The VP might be setting him up because he assumed that his efforts to go to the division had probably leaked out. He felt like he was going to have to up the game in order to get a transfer soon. If he could just get to know the CIO at a level above casual hellos and small talk maybe he could get things moving faster. Watching and waiting at the hotel was certainly not the best way to get quality time with the CIO. He did not want to come across as stalking the guy but he needed to know when he was around if he had any chance of getting to know him better. After a couple weeks Smitty got lucky; one of the Directors he had gotten close to informed him that the CIO usually drove over to corporate from where he lived. With this information Smitty only had to find out where his parking space was and check it each day. Now, all he had to do was keep an eye on the parking space and hang out at the hotel bar and restaurant in hopes of having a chat with him sometime. In just a couple weeks Smitty was seeing the CIO more regularly, saying hello in passing, and having brief conversations. Then, in the most natural way his golden opportunity arose; he was seated at the bar getting ready to order dinner when the CIO came in and sat down right next to him. He was going to have dinner with the man! They talked about everything; the CIO opened up about the VP and was more aware of the situation with him than he could have ever imagined. The CIO even told him “you didn’t hear from me but you are going to the division. Smitty was thrilled. Just a few days later he got an email from the Senior VP of the Division stating he would be bringing him on after he talked to Smitty’s boss. The CIO and Senior VP Smitty thought, I’m in; this time I will escape the crazy person. Smitty swore he could feel a healing sensation throughout his body as he shook off the memory of his terrible previous experience with psycho lady. Smitty was elated; he was going to escape with his dream job in tack and get away from the another nutso before getting taken down with him. He then did his best to keep up good communication with his soon to be ex-boss and not make any waves while waiting for formal word of his transfer to come from the Human Resources department. A week later word came; he was summoned to HR. He had to admit he had a cocky bounce in his step as he headed to the HR offices; his plan had worked. When he arrived at HR his boss and a human resources associate greeted him, ushered him into a private office and told him his employment with the company was terminated immediately. It turned out that his boss had simply told the Senior Divisional VP and the CIO he could not transfer and then pushed his dismissal through HR without any resistance. No one came to Smitty’s defense. Some politics unknown to Smitty were in play and he was fired; packaged as a general layoff of course. He had been with the company for eighteen months and still gets a pension payment every month from the experience. His dream of achieving Director with a big corporation and building a million dollar retirement plan was gone in a flash; finished off by another crazy person who was let go six months after Smitty. All the others continued on with the company Senior VP eighteen years, CIO twenty five years, befriended Directors twenty plus years. As Smitty headed down the highway back to Ohio he thought; close but no cigar.
Chapter 42. Senior Project Manager
Back at home sitting at his desk, dog at his feet and unemployed again Smitty wondered if he could get back on at the VFW club; that was such a relaxing job he thought. Then he thought back to one of his early business lessons “stereo typed by your title”. This had worked for him and against him over the years; hopefully this time it would be for. Program Manager of Supply Chain Technologies; almost a Director position should carry some weight with recruiters he surmised. He decided to cast it out into the vast Internet ocean and see what kind of bites he could get. Previously he had pretty good luck when he did a resume blast; he’d try that again. What the hell, it’s only ninety bucks he thought. Within a week he was getting so many calls and emails it was overwhelming. Apparently there was a glorious employee market going on. There were good salaries, signing bonuses and full relocation packages being offered. Although Smitty couldn’t imagine relocating again he figured full time travel for a few years might be OK. Before he could respond to any interview requests though he got an interview request by phone from a company he had partnered with during his previous employment. The best part was; the organization was only a couple hundred miles away and he would be based from his home office. This sounded ideal to Smitty so he decided to at least meet with them and discuss the job expectations they had emailed him. They arranged a casual lunch meeting just to get acquainted. Smitty was told the only agenda for the meeting was to see if he might be interested in the job. To Smitty it sounded on the phone like he already had the job if he wanted it. The VP already told him on the phone that he had talked with someone Smitty had worked with in the past and he was highly recommended. Smitty felt so complimented by this he practically decided to take the job even before the meeting. Premature yesjulation he mused.
The next week Smitty showed up in beautiful Grand Rapids, Michigan and met what he figured was going to be his new Director and VP. After a nice lunch, they offered him the job and Smitty tucked what he roughly calculated was his fortieth yes in life. I’d really like to get to fifty he thought. He was so happy to land on his feet so quickly and not go through too much savings that he completely forgot to ask his new employer for a little time off before starting his new job. He would do that as soon as he got back to his home office. He was thinking a couple weeks off with a job to go to would be wonderful when he made the call. They were not only will to do this they even asked told him to take more time if he needed it. Smitty thought this was a little strange at the time but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth; he took a full month off and enjoyed every minute of it. A month later he reported to his new boss and began yet another good opportunity as a Senior Project Manager for an established software company. He felt lucky. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately his work mostly required him to travel into what was considered enemy territory by Ohioans, but he was now tagged with having automotive industry experience so he was assigned related projects mostly in Michigan. Smitty was good with this though because he figured the combination of “Manager” and “auto business” could provide him with gainful employment for quite some time. He accepted the idea that he would be traveling for his work and that had joined his old software business fraternity. He couldn’t say he was thrilled about either of these things but the money and benefits were good and of course he hadn’t forgotten the old “a job is a job” lesson. He wondered to himself if and when these job and work lessons were going to stop. After too much more thinking he had a revelation: “Unless you are rich, being gainfully employed doing something you do not hate is the next best thing”.
So back to the ranks of what Smitty had come to think of as a make believe world; head down, getting paid. He no longer had any expectations of his future in this job or any other. He had finally given up dreaming and accepted the fact that it was just another job in a long string of them that would probably go on until he was found dead in a hotel room somewhere. Somewhere though deep in his soul Smitty mustered up enough hope to work hard and learn his new job. He liked his new boss; she was smart, fair and compassionate. She knew the business and had realistic expectations about project ups and downs. In fact she was one of the better managers Smitty had met over the years. After about a year Smitty was settling into his position well. He was managing nine projects that required an acceptable level of travel. He was concerned about the number of acquisitions his company was making, but so far the rapid growth of the company had not affected his work. He might even get an opportunity to move up as the organization grew; a thought he didn’t think he would ever have again after so many let downs in the past. He wondered about this for a few minutes before dismissing it as absurd. Was he nuts? This company like all the rest will go to hell and take him with it. I’m not falling for it this time, he thought. Smitty knew he just needed to focus on the work, collect his salary and wait patiently to be purged, fired, laid off, downsized, rightsized or whatever they were calling it these days. He had ten more years of jobs to get and lose and he was jazzed about making it an even fifty.
Smitty had been on his new job for 495 days when news came that he was being transferred to the newly formed Auto Division. He had been selected from among six Senior Project Managers to run the biggest global project the company had ever had. The company’s fast growth had finally arrived at his doorstep. The job required 100% international travel which he had trepidations about, but earnings potential and exposure to international business was very attractive. This was a huge decision for Smitty so he decided to go to the driving range, hit some balls, and think about it. After about a hundred balls and thoughts about the job he found himself mentally on the edge of just asking for a different assignment; let one of the younger Managers take this position he thought. He would have killed for an opportunity like this twenty years ago but at 56 it just sounded very tiring to him. As he was thinking this and walking out a few yards in front of him to pick up a few balls he had duffed, he spotted a rather new looking ball deep in the turf. Instead of hitting it he leaned down and picked it up. To his surprise it had the logo of the company he was considering doing the project for! He changed his mind about doing the project right there and then. He was not a superstitious person by nature but he had to take this as a sign. This was as weekday at a very small course in a farm community of six hundred people; what are the chances of him finding this particular golf ball. He just had to take it as a sign. He was given a terrific opportunity to run a large global project so he transitioned all of his projects to new project managers and began his new position. He began traveling extensively with the new project sales and service team. He visited multiple countries and attended many meetings over a three month period. He wasn’t real happy about all the travel but it was a terrific opportunity for his to get international project management experience and the earning potential was significant. Although the contract was not signed yet it looked like a solid 2-3 years work and after running a program that big he would most likely be able to write his own ticket for future projects.
In many ways he was very proud of his new role. He felt like he had joined the executive ranks even thought his title was Global Program Manager. Maybe he would get that Director title someday after all.
After several months of traveling and giving presentations Smitty was informed rather abruptly by his boss that project company executives in New York whom Smitty had recently visited decided they wanted a wanted a “stronger program manager”. Smitty later equated this to them wanting John Wayne and Audie Murphy had showed up. Considering he hadn’t really done anything but facilitate meetings, which he knew he was very good at, he found it a little despairing that he had already been fired! He also found out that the contract for the project hadn’t even been signed, and despite his understanding, he was not formally assigned as Program Manager yet. So how do you get fired from a job that you don’t even have yet? Smitty thought. Then he was reminded that he was back in the software business, the only industry he knew of that could create a situation like this. A couple months after this Smitty found out the contract never did get signed and the project was cancelled. Even though he had been selected from six candidates for the job by his own company when the project began, he had apparently done a poor job of impressing the NY execs. Sitting in his home office stunned by the news and now projectless, he was thinking maybe he had gone too far when he shared his “golf ball” story at his last meeting with the executive board. He had even whipped the golf ball out of his pocket for effect! He thought it was a pretty dynamic presentation at the time but now that he had been fired he surmised that their takeaways from the tale could have been; he’s undecided about this project or he’s too old, or he would rather be retired playing golf, or he is an idiot for telling us this story. In any event, Smitty was off the project, transferred from the division where he was doing well and had no current projects to work on. Fortunately his VP, who had originally got him into this mess, had enough mercy or guilt to help him pick up new projects and get busy again. Admittedly though Smitty was having a little trouble getting motivated to manage multiple projects all over the place after feeling as though he was running a big important global program. He floundered for six months before the VP called and asked him if he was serious about retiring; apparently the golf ball story was rattling around his head as well, Smitty thought. Smitty continued for a couple more months nursing the few projects he had and attempting to reach an acceptable level of billable hours but his heart was not in it. His VP must have know this too because he called again a month later and informed Smitty that he would have to let him go. In some ways Smitty was relieved. The good news is that he had enjoyed spending most of the last six months at home bonding with his dog. The bad news; he didn’t have enough money to retire. When he thought back over the events leading up to his demise on this job he realized it is best not to talk about retiring unless you can actually do it.
Since Smitty had basically been at home for six months the transition from having a job and being unemployed was fairly seamless. Now he just sat at the same desk, dog at his feet staring out the same window. The only real difference was now he would spend his days trying to find work as opposed to doing work. Pretty much the same routine, he thought. So he planned to spend his days on the phone and working his email fully confident that he could get a job anytime he wanted. By now he knew just what to say to recruiters and how to work them. He had become an expert at getting a trail going that he knew would lead him to another good job. The best thing was now he didn’t care about the job itself. He had but one goal now; get a job. It didn’t matter what it was or where it was located or what the title was; and to a certain degree the salary and benefits didn’t matter either. He was solely interested in the challenge of getting another position to add to his trophy shelf. The speed at which he could get another job also mattered. He knew he could not break the standing two hour record but it might be possible to could notch a one or two day turnaround into his gunstock.
Smitty began looking for another job right away this time. Usually he would take some time off when losing a job but because Smitty was already used to being at his desk at home he just got up at the same time the following morning and went through what had become his normal routine. Coffee, take dog out, go to desk. Before his second cup the phone rang and a recruiter ask him if he would be interested in project management position in Columbus, Ohio. Since he was living 35 miles from there he said absolutely. The recruiter said he would have the company’s hiring manager call him then. Less than ten minutes later Smitty gets a call from a Senior Director with a third party consulting company that is providing a lot of project staff for the actual company. He tells Smitty they need somebody right away and asks if he can do a phone interview right now. Of course this is not a problem for Smitty because he is unemployed and sitting at his desk at home. The Director says “great, we’ll call you back in ten minutes”. Exactly ten minutes later the call comes in as promised. The interview lasted about the same amount of time ending with a job offer on the phone and one question “can you be here tomorrow” It was an all inclusive contract position but it paid $90 an hour! Smitty couldn’t believe it. How can this be, he thought.
The next morning he reported to the company, went through a quick on-boarding process, set up his laptop and files at a borrowed desk and begin going over the project information. After the first week of familiarizing himself with the environment and getting an understanding of the tools and methods in place he realized that there didn’t seem to be anything for him to do right away. This seem very strange to him considering the rush they were in to get him there. At $90 an hour this did not seem right at all. Smitty thought he better take a proactive approach and talk to his new Director about this. The Director informed Smitty at this point that he was not actually Smitty’s boss and that he was only responsible for getting him on the project. He was a contractor himself who had been with the project for a year. His only job was to make sure there was enough staff to cover the clients requirements. He further explained that there were about two hundred contractors on the floor he was on; basically the entire group was furnished by consulting firms like his. He told Smitty that there was some confusion regarding which client projects he would be assigned to and advised him to just be patient and someone would contact him. Then he said something that Smitty will never forget: “just keep your head down, this is an easy money project”. After the first week when Smitty got a little more comfortable with the surroundings he became amazed at the continual flood of contractors coming on to the project. Even more astonishing to him was that there seemed to be no place for him or any of these people to sit and work. He was working in an open cubicle at the end of a modular desk with two other consultants. There were rows and rows of two and three people sharing a single desk in a very large wing of the building without much separation between work areas. The result was a constant hum of voices and people moving about and around each other. Since his services as a project manager did not seem to be of immediate need he was asked to join a group of programmers in a large conference room that had been set up for project work and to accommodate those with no work area. He later found out that half of the people in the room had no assignments. Like him they were just waiting. When he walked into the conference room there were about twenty people sitting shoulder to shoulder at a conference table with laptops and bunched of wires in front of them. He tried to maintain a positive attitude but all he could visualize when he looked at the scene was a group of rowers in the bottom of a slave ship. As he was trying to scope out a place to squeeze into the melee he realized that he could not possibly work in this environment. He walked out of the conference room wondering how and where he was going to spend his time. He had no supervision; in fact nobody seemed to even notice his presence. There were so many people wandering around he realized he was just blending in. With this in mind he decided that the place to hang out was the onsite coffee shop. There he could at least have his own table; there was WIFI and his cell phone was basically his office phone. So that is where he set up shop. There was nothing for him to do but other than developing an addiction to cappuccinos he was comfortable. After about a week of coffee shop duty Smitty went took an early lunch, drank three rum & cokes and never returned to the job. On the drive home he thought maybe he should call his boss but he hadn’t been assigned one yet. He figured they would never miss him and assume that in all the chaos he was just a mistake that fell through the cracks. He put a new lesson in his job search tool box: never accept a job without a personal interview. He was starting to lose track but he thought this was somewhere around job forty three and title forty eight. He was going to have to write all this down sometime.
When Smitty got back home after leaving his job after only two weeks he again settled in at his desk wondering if they would call him after a few days absence. They didn’t. He couldn’t get his head around the fact that he sat around the house collecting a paycheck and bonus for six months, then ended up getting a ninety dollar an hour job in just a couple days, then quitting it two weeks later. He felt sure at this point that he had entered into some alternate reality. In fact, when he thought about his adventures the last five years he was sure of it. This just couldn’t be real; he had become delusional; that’s all there is to it. Did I really become a Senior Manager at a leading financial institution where crazy people were in charge, followed by going to work as a Janitor, then get hired by another crazy person at a huge corporation? What are the chances of encountering two certified nutsos in such a short period of time. Smitty petted his dog, walked around the house, petted his dog some more and made a decision. He was definitely crazy now, so he was going to do what all insane people do when the chips are down; move. “So put me on a highway and show me a sign, and take it to the limit one more time” The Eagles lyrics were stuck in Smitty’s head. Even though it was still a little hard for Smitty to believe he could land such a good jobs, basically get promoted, make all his bonuses and get offered the Global Program Manager position for a multi-million dollar project and three months later it all evaporated right before his eyes. He was definitely becoming highly proficient at getting jobs now but keeping one was looking more and more like an unobtainable goal. Could he actually get serious about a job ever again? He knew in his heart of hearts that he was past caring about jobs, companies, paychecks, benefits; all of it. What he really wanted was to get himself in a position where he didn’t have to ever work again. Unfortunately, spending came much easier to him than saving, so making money seemed a necessary effort. So he thought to himself, where could I find a job that I am actually capable of doing without too much effort”? Then it came to him; why Florida of course! Nobody worked hard there right? So Smitty decided to turn the clock back ten years. He would forget all about the jobs found and lost. He would go to Florida and start anew. A do over he thought. Only this time he would not get hung up on caring or hoping for some job longevity. He would just find a job, then another, then another until he was old enough to get social security. What a plan he thought; if I would have started ten years ago with this approach I could have saved myself from a tremendous amount of stress.
So, Smitty circled a date on the calendar and informed his wife and children that he would be going back into a basic systems consulting role and they would be moving to Florida.
With this in mind he went back to working his phone and email again only this time he targeted the sunshine state. Following the path of millions of losers that came before him he found a job in Florida, sold everything he owned and headed down interstate 75 to the Promised Land. From the first moment he crossed the border he just knew there was no place in the world like Florida. As he prepared to take the next exit to the welcome center memories of childhood visits to the sunshine state flowed through his mind. The beach, The Waltzing Waters, Cypress Gardens, The Kapok Tree Inn, Alligator Farms, Stuckey’s. He thought about the little motel in Tarpon Springs where his family stayed when he was a child. He had vivid recollections of the open spaces where his parents would pull the car over and have an impromptu picnic. He remember the smell of it; the relaxing feeling that can only come from being on this pristine peninsula.
Suddenly he was shaken back to reality when he spotted the most beautiful old Cadillac Sedan Deville which seemed to be moving rapidly into the space he was occupying in the inside lane. He supposed the driver was also interested in visiting the welcome center. Fortunately, Smitty was just able to brake enough to avoid collision as the white haired gentleman cut him off. That was close Smitty thought; I’m gonna have to pay a little closer attention to this traffic. He nearly ran me into the back of the home made trailer full of lawn maintenance equipment in front of him. Fortunately he was able to swerve to the left just in time to miss the smoking dump truck while at the same time avoiding being rear-ended by the minivan on his tail. He was actually quite proud of his maneuver as was the driver of the Maserati which passed by at about 95 miles per hour on the inside berm. Smitty appreciated the wave the sports car driver clearly through his way. Beautiful car; he thought; really held the road as it crossed the four lanes in front of him and powered to the outside lane effortlessly. Smitty was thinking at that moment how wonderful it would be to drive one those things or one of the Harleys that were behind him. Too bad he missed that welcome center exit because he really would have liked another look at that Deville. He would have made it too, but by the time he got his vehicle back under control the exit sign was completely blocked by four tractor trailers, two RVs and a really big Uhaul truck. He never realized until that minute that U-haul had a truck that big. Whoever was lucky enough to get that baby really had it all. He wished he had more time to look that sucker over, but due to the constant swerving and braking his attention had to stay focused on the road before him. He could help but admire the payload that guy was supporting though - there were at least six bicycles, a stroller and a huge gas grill hanging off the back of it in front of the SUV it was towing. Big family he guessed. It looked like they were going to make the welcome center exit; Smitty figured they needed the break more than he and his small family. He figured they would just stop at the next Stuckey's; they didn’t have to pee that bad anyway. About an hour later Smitty began thinking that they might have missed a few opportunities to exit the interstate by riding in the center lane. He was pretty sure there had to have been at least one exit in 60 minutes. There sure is a lot of truck traffic for Saturday afternoon he thought. He decided it might be best to just get behind one of the trucks in the inside lane no matter what speed they were traveling so he could see a little better. Sure enough he discovered a whole lot of signs and exits he had been missing. It was slow going, but there was a whole world of stuff over there. The family was enjoying the view so much in fact they hardly noticed the fumes entering cars cabin until one of the kids passed out. To be fair to the trucking community, it was probably a combination of their smoke and the humidity which had ambled up to about 90% now. Smitty was really quite amazed that the air could be that damp when the air temperature was 94? He got an answer to this when the road began to look kind of foggy. Since he had never seen fog at 2:30 in the afternoon before, he assumed that one of the Semi’s brakes had caught on fire; which seemed to be confirmed a few moments later when one of them slowed and seemed to be pulling over to the side of the road. He was lucky enough to find a small break in traffic that allowed him to pass safely in the outside lane. He thought he had executed the lane change legally and efficiently but the semi driver must not have thought so, because he really laid on his horn as Smitty passed. He checked his review mirror just in time to see another truck stop to help him so that was good. The thing that surprised him the most though is that the smoke really hadn’t cleared that much? There must be another truck with issues he surmised. In fact; the smoke seemed to be getting thicker. At this point he really had to go to the bathroom so headed back to the inside lane again determined not to miss another exit. He was pleasantly surprised to find it clear for a change. He zoomed off the highway and headed to the truck stop. Too bad there’s no Stuckey’s he thought; maybe later……
He was having a tough time finding a place to park the car. He was thinking this must be a very popular stoop when he heard a really loud noise followed by a series of booms and bangs. He stopped the car in front of a handicapped space to let the family out and noticed a really big cloud of smoke out toward the highway. This was followed by a thick wash of smoke that blanketed the truck stop. He found out later that a wildfire had gotten out of control and the smoke from it found its way to the area. Combined with the air temperature and humidity a smoke cloud had enveloped the interstate reducing visibility to zero. The resulting confusion and traffic accidents were horrific.
Smitty and family got back on the road about six hours later and continued their journey deep into Florida. It was pretty quiet in that car for the rest of the day. They continued to be amazed at the volume of traffic that surrounded them constantly and seemed to consume every bit of available oxygen. Fortunately, they were almost to their new home in Tampa! They all began to get excited again about this adventure in a new land. They never did make it to Stuckey’s, but their excitement and enthusiasm was beginning to return. As they pulled onto their new street and headed toward their new home they all began to cheer. They were all deep in the throes of this jubilation when they saw their first alligator! What a thrill! Smitty had to say that he did not expect to see one so soon and definitely not in the street in front of their new home and driveway; but there he was, a big scary looking thing! They were so entranced by the creature that they almost didn’t notice the pick up truck behind them who was now honking rather rudely. Smitty pulled over to let him pass only to find him stop right in front of him. Some impatient driver he thought….Now he is getting out of his vehicle and waving at Smitty to stop. This is getting ridiculous he thought; I haven’t bothered this guy. At this point the guy tells Smitty to back up a ways because he has to get this alligator out of the road. The guy didn’t look very official or anything so Smitty told him that he lived there and was trying to get in his driveway. The man seemed annoyed by this so Smitty didn’t press the issue. The guy scowled, turned and walked back to his truck and he and his passenger proceeded to lasso the alligator, tape his mouth shut, then pick him up and throw him in the back of their pick-up truck. The whole affair didn’t take more than five minutes! They turned around in Smitty’s driveway and waved as they sped off. Well, Smitty and his family had just never seen anything like that before. They couldn’t stop talking about it. Had it not been for the snake they discovered in the hall closet when they began unloading their stuff from the car they probably never would have stopped talking about that gator. Smitty really wished he had gotten a business card from that Alligator guy. Since he had never faced a “snake in the house” situation before he was a bit stymied at this juncture. In Ohio he had confronted a few large spiders once or twice but a snake was definitely out of his expertise or bravery area. This situation sure did put a dampener on the big move in they had planned; Smitty couldn’t help but think that when the movers brought the furniture in yesterday, that snake came in along with them. In some ways, this was wishful thinking on his part because he did not want to even imagine that the snake made its way in there some other way. That thought gave him an idea though. He would call the moving company and tell them about the snake; maybe they would know someone that he could call about it. They ended up being quite helpful. Not only did they have the number of someone who would get the snake out of there they promised to call a guy for him. Fortunately for Smitty they called back right away and said the guy could come out immediately; there was however a $100 minimum charge for the visit. At this point Smitty was thrilled to pay the fee so they could get on with the move in. It was years later before Smitty found out that this entire snake thing was a scam cooked up by the moving guys. The snake’s name was Benjamin and after his name he had produced many a hundred dollar bill for the “working people” of Florida or more accurately the “people working Florida”. This was the first of many such con-games that Smitty and his family eventually learned abounded in the sunshine state. Besides having a scam artist on every corner, as months passed they began to understand the environment they had moved to. They discovered that lovely Florida was pretty much a swamp that had been drained and filled in where houses were then built. They quickly became aware that it was not only crowded with people it was overrun with creatures. Besides all the scammers, deadbeats, thieves, perverts and murderers they also encountered many non-human species which they could not help but make a list of:
Really large bugs
Lots of really small bugs
A shitload of medium size bugs
Many miscellaneous size and color bugs
Bugs that ate other bugs
Bugs that ate every kind of plant, grass, dirt and aluminum siding
Seasonal Bugs
Bugs that only came every four years
Bugs that live in the water
Bugs that live in the trees
Bugs that live in the trees but swarm every so often
Bugs that eat grass
Bugs that eat the bugs that eat the grass
Creatures that eat the grass-eating bugs
Little bugs you can’t see that deposit acid on your skin
Birds that come to your door begging for food
Birds that bully other birds
Birds that never shut up
Birds that come in giant flocks and defecate all over everything on the ground
Birds that fight among themselves
Birds that go underwater
Birds that surround you at the beach
Snakes that go really fast on land with their heads up
Poisonous little snakes that bite and unload all their poison to toxic level
Colorful little snakes that hide in the garden
Coral snakes that will kill you
Giant snakes that can devour small animals
Really small Deer
A monkey that has been on the loose for years
An Alligator that roared like a lion
An Alligator that ate a poodle
An Alligator that tried to eat the tire of our car.
An Alligator that…..the list goes on
Big fat creatures that people swim with
A Dolphin with a mechanical fin
Surfing Dolphins
A shelter with nothing but abused lions and tigers
Underground roaches that can render your home uninhabitable
Already disillusioned with Florida Smitty only had one choice; put the trip incident behind him and start his new job. He decided when he starting looking that he did not want to continue managing projects, programs or people. He felt like a return to plain old consulting work would be a much easier job so he wrote his resume in such a way that it downplayed management and emphasized software implementation skills. After a few weeks of networking Smitty found and was offered a consulting position in Florida. The firm he was recruited for was looking for someone to handle software implementation projects in Florida. They even reimbursed him for his moving and travel expenses which he thought was great considering he planned on moving to Florida anyhow. He was quite proud of himself for not only putting the move and job together nicely but he actually hit the target date he had randomly circled on his calendar a month before; in fact he hit it right on the nose! I may be crazy, but I’m still efficient he thought.
So Smitty reported to his new company office in a very upscale part of town. He was met by a single employee that had flown in from Baltimore to meet him, give him a key to the office, show him how to work the coffee machine and wish him luck. She left at noon and he never saw her again. nice part of town. He settled in with the goal of learning the new software package he would be working with as rapidly as possible. In just a few weeks he had the basics down and was ready for an assignment; hopefully shadowing someone with plenty of experience. Although he was hired as the Senior Consultant for the firm for all of Florida he knew he had much to learn before he could operate independently. He immediately purchased a new vehicle to use for travel around the state and proceeded to get Microsoft certifications for the software he would be implementing. His first assignment came a weeks later and was only a hundred miles from his home in Tampa and as he had hoped he was coupled with a fellow that helped him learn the ropes. Even though his first client was somewhat difficult he could not have asked for a better introduction to the business, company and systems. Unfortunately, after this assignment the firm had very little luck finding him an engagement in Florida. In fact, his next assignment was in North Carolina followed by Vermont, South Dakota, California, Washington State and Vancouver BC. This went on for about a year before he started looking around locally for a employment. He hated to leave another company so soon but by now he was used to changing and did not feel any allegiance to any organization at the point. He had signed up for a consulting position encompassing the state of Florida and the company was just not holding up their part of the bargain. After a year he pretty much had the entire office to himself and he would certainly miss that but at the rate of out-of-state assignments he was afraid he was going to be on the road for a long time; something he was trying to escape. He would miss his nice office, reserved underground parking space and awesome coffee machine but he wasn’t spending enough time there to enjoy it anyhow. He would particularly miss the guy that hired him because after having so many terrible bosses he was a breath of fresh air. He had a charismatic way about him that Smitty liked and he was totally in touch with the reality of implementing software. He was a male version of his female Director a couple jobs before. Two crazies, then two sane ones; I’m evening things up he thought. If only the company could get him booked on more projects within the state he would have gladly stayed with the company for as long as they would have him. After a couple months of inquiries Smitty found a firm that had a Project Manager opening in the Tampa area. He agreed to take the job a week before his current company found him a project in Miami. He had to stick with his sick ethic of saying yes to job offers so he changed firms and moved on again. This turned out to be a big mistake; going back into project management was the wrong thing for him to do; what was he thinking. He had successfully escaped that role, which he felt he was never that good at, and damned if he didn’t jump right back into that fire to escape traveling. Little did he know at the time that this decision would ultimately end his career early and lead to a chain of events that he could never have imagined, and that he would come to refer to later in life as “the dark years”. He had accomplished a “do-over”, turned back the clock fifteen years to a consulting role he was good at, then threw it all away just like that. The crux of it was that he had really come to hate airplanes and hotels and this ended up costing him dearly.
This familiar title took on a new meaning for Smitty this time. His actual title within the company was “Manager” which in retrospect he realized later that he did not quite grasp the significance of at hiring time. In fact, for six months he thought he had accepted a Senior Project Manager position with the company. This clearly illustrates just how absolutely slip-shod his perception abilities had become by this time. Instead of improving his interview and job acquisition skills with age he was apparently losing them rapidly. At least he didn’t accept the job over the phone as he had a few companies ago, but he sure didn’t pay attention to the company hierarchy or culture during the interview process. He quickly learned the organization’s project management methodology and project administration procedures, but looking back later he realized that he was completely clueless about the political forces at work within the firm. As it turned out all his initial perceptions of the organization he had joined were wrong. He thought the company was a small entrepreneurial operation with a laid back attitude and with his age and experience he would be accepted without question; even revered he naively thought. He mistakenly thought that as long as he was doing his job the company would basically leave him alone to get things done however he deemed necessary. He looked at the firm more as his agent rather than an employer. As the first year passed he realized that this was not the case at all. As soon as the big project they hired him for was over he began to feel the pressure to “join the group”. This included requests to do small useless projects and go into the general offices to work instead of staying in his home office. He tried to adhere to the pressure but he knew he was just too old to go into the office everyday between projects and suck up to the management team who were all twenty years younger. He knew almost immediately that they were all trying to get out of doing field work and become executives and shareholders in the company. He had been around that block many times and become a total cynic by now. He also knew that management would figure that out pretty quickly and his days would be numbered if he could not get another big project that took him away from the bullshit office politics that he was encountering daily. He began to feel like he was back in his freshman year of college and forced to join the fraternity or be forever banished. At first he thought this was just his imagination but soon enough he felt it for real. He soon realized that the firm was not capable of keeping employees with his experience and age; in fact they were basically discouraging it. They probably did not realize this when they hired him even. He looked and acted much younger during the interviews and hiring process plus they needed an experienced older person to land the big project they were courting. It was hard for Smitty to believe that he had even fell for the pat lines the hiring team had spewed while he was being brought on-board; statements like “you will never be fired for making a mistake” or “we are family” etc. Smitty had heard this Human Resource and Marketing rhetoric dozens of times during his career but he had still fallen for it. He actually believed that he could be honest and direct with them and this false perception on his part ultimately led to another job loss. Suddenly, he was a bad dog and the pack turned on him. Of course the “ladeeda” generation managers could not actually fire him so he was “laid off” due to lack of work. What pussy’s, Smitty thought. Now, two years later, they are still paying unemployment compensation for him – go Obama! He really needed a vacation, although 99 weeks was a little more than he had figured on. Along with millions of other Americans he was blindsided by a melt down in the real estate and banking industry that produced one of the worse recessions in history. Also, unfortunately Smitty had just closed on a home that cost him $335,000 the value of which he watched dropping on a daily basis. To make matters worse he was rear-ended in a multiple car accident that got him started on a drug that he couldn’t tolerate and involved in a law suit that turned out to be a legal/medical scam. After six months of unemployment he was sitting at his desk in his previously busy home office gazing dumbfounded out his window at the “Two Men and a Truck” van loading up his next door neighbor’s belongings. He guessed if things don’t change pretty soon that would be his scenario as well. Next, the house next door joined the ranks of empty homes in his neighborhood. Another cheap meal is being offered up to the already circling real estate vultures. He watched silently as the parade of bargain hunter home buyers came and went. Ah, the “short sale”. The short sale is what his own banker brought up to him a few days ago after five months of asking for assistance to try to keep his home. He knew during this conversation that the term “short sale” was code for “it’s all over, pay us what you owe or get out”. Smitty now had a continual butterfly moving around in his gut and sleepless nights staring at the ceiling fan as he recounted all his jobs, homes, and lost fortunes. He thought of the movie Gone With The Wind and tried to muster up some of the wherewithal of Scarlet O’Hara. Hell he had more money in the bank when he was a teenager than he had now! This thought blew his mind. He would have to sell the Mustang he had coveted all his life. Perhaps unload the property he had wisely put in his Daughters name years before. The thought “I’m losing our home” kept creeping into his every thought. “So now I put our house up for sale and watch the vultures circle closer to what used to be our home but is now just another cheap piece of real estate for sale. The eighty thousand dollars invested will be sacrificed, our dream of living in the same neighborhood as our family gone, and the prospect of ever owning a home is forever dismissed. Despite our strongest desire to spend our “golden years” near our Florida family we will most likely leave this state which has taken so much from us.” After Smitty’s layoff, he reduced his expenses in an attempt to show the bank that he could afford his home if they would work with him. This backfired; after five months of spreadsheet mania he was told he did not qualify for what was being referred to by the government as “The Making Homes Affordable Plan” because his expense to income ratio did not fall within some magical callused guideline that passes down the verdict with a simple calculation. So as a result of doing too good a job of reducing expenses and creating the perfect budget it was the old: “show them what they have won Bob” - they get to sit in their home and watch strangers parade through it debating whether or not it is worth $135,000 less than they paid for it! And the banker says “you might try a short sale” like they are at the grocery deciding between whole wheat or white bread. This was our lives, and that of millions of other Americans; our neighborhood, our home. This is where many of us planned to live out our lives; this was our dream – a simple 1600 square foot patio home. Smitty was astounded that even though he could make the payment just as easy as the Vulture he was not allowed in the game. Hell, it was his house; he had already anted eighty grand, shouldn’t he be included? We have excellent credit, we have the income and we already live here. Why can’t we benefit from a “short sale” to us? The vultures get to come to the table but we don’t, even with an $80,000 reservation. Why is this? Smitty deduced that he was not thinking like a Banker or Investor:
So let me try to see it from their angle Smitty thought. I am a banker/investor…:
“Let’s see, original loan $335,000 less what the loan has returned over the last two years which is approximately $80,000. If I resell the place to new buyers and get the prevailing value of approximately $200,000 I can probably get close to a 20% down payment ($20,000. That brings my return on investment for two years up to around $100,000. Although the existing loans provide more long term gain because of the higher interest rates, the only good way to show the investors that I am being diligent is to find new buyers and recoup the losses that have accumulated due to the unpaid payments to date; which coincidently total close to the $20,000 down payment that I can get by engaging new buyers. Plus, there is a better chance that new buyers will adhere to their loan obligation since they are starting out with an equitable piece of real estate. Essentially, the old buyer has provided some incentive to short sell the property by walking away from the $80,000 he has invested. I believe that we may even be able to get more than $200,000 for the property in a few months. This scenario will look a lot better to the investors than attempting to work with the current buyers and not showing any gain or recoup of past due payments. Considering the x-factor (I am not sure what this is but my bet is that the bank has an incentive of some kind like a tax advantage or rebate for accepting a short sale….) the best thing for me to do is show the investors that I am diligently attempting to protect their investment. After-all, my allegiance is to the investor not the homeowner so the short sale to new buyers is the best and most lucrative way for me to handle this.”
Is this what is happening?
Two years later Smitty, now living with his Father-in-law in an old house in the “hood”, whiles-away his days staring out the window wondering where his life and career went. The unemployment compensation ride is over. Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy will be coming on in a few hours…….. he wonders if he should take one more shot at getting another job or is it time to hand up the guns.
Chapter 46. Senior Manufacturing Business Analyst
Despite his best efforts to accept his fate gracefully and live happily ever after as a beaten down impoverished failure Smitty got bored with doing nothing and started looking for work. He definitely knew after all he had been through he had one for sure talent; the uncanny ability to get employed. He even thought about becoming a recruiter or employment counselor. Surely his experience should play to something, he thought. During his over a year of doing nothing he had plenty of time to think how he would go after another job if he wanted one. H didn’t really want a job so much as he wanted an adventure. He decided to brush up his resume, get out his job fishing rod and see what he could catch. Sure enough, within a couple months he had two offers on the table for jobs that could make well over a hundred thousand dollars a year! This time he was absolutely sure that it was the hunt that attracted him not the actual job. He was confident at this point that if he could get a face to face interview he could beat the other candidates and land the job. He just had so much more experience than most people and because he had been laid off so many times he had been through extensive training on job hunting. During his over a year unemployed without even realizing it he had formulated a plan to do exactly what he was doing. It wasn’t as though he had a long drawn out process going on; he made a couple of inquiries, sent out a few resumes and bang he was involved in the interview process with two companies. It happen so fast Smitty didn’t even give it much thought. He was more interested and motivated by the process of getting offered a position than the position itself. By now he had become accustomed to living without much income so money didn’t really have anything to do with him becoming employed again. Smitty found it hard to explain to anybody, even himself, why or how he ended up in a position where he had to say “yes” to a job offer. He knew it was an old addiction; he just could not say no to a job offer and this time was no different than the last forty five times.
The road to Smitty’s next job began quite innocently as he started taking calls from recruiters after updating his Monster resume with a few key words he knew would draw attention. His initial plan was to get a few phone interviews under his belt for jobs that he was not really qualified for but would provide good warm up exercises for the real search later. He needed to get plugged back into the ever-changing language and techniques used by the headhunters. After a few of these interviews he was ready to change his resume to his actual abilities using the current lingo. At this time he also attempted to create excitement around his job search; something he had learned along the job search trail – if you can imply (without outright lying) that you are in demand and trying to select the “right company, right fit” some recruiters will get caught up in it. If they share this feeling with the hiring company or better yet the actual hiring manager you are most likely going to get an interview. He had learned that most anyone in the employment industry will tell you that getting an interview is the sole purpose of the job search. He almost totally agreed with this except for mastering networking. He believed above everything else that developing and using a network is almost like landing the job itself because the desired job tends to materialize closely behind the network of people created. Assuming of course that he did a good job developing this network. Over the years he had formulated what he referred to as a “focused network". He felt strongly that most people looking for work associate themselves with previous co-workers or managers they have kept in touch with over the years. Primarily, these contacts have either remained in the previous field of the job hunter or moved on to another level within that field. While there are certainly exceptions to this for the most part it was true. So the first thing he did was to analyze his network and determine if it supported the job he was going after. His goal was to be perceived as an experienced business analyst rather than a management type. He had modified his resume so that it emphasized his analytical experience. He had then carefully chosen references from his network that were of a similar background. He then called and talked at length with them about their job, how they got hired and ask for their advice regarding his job search. He then used this information to refine his resume and the language he would use with the first wave of recruiter calls. He knew that the routine recruiting, screening and phone interview calls were going to tell him what jobs were out there, who was looking and most importantly what companies were specifically looking for.
The end game of Smitty’s job search this time was making a potential employer want the specific skills outlined in their job description combined with his experience, education and IT expertise. After discussions with his selected individuals and initial recruiter contacts he developed a presentation that was designed to differentiate him from other job candidates that had strong resumes but not the clear combination of hands on operations management experience, business operations/systems expertise, and project management skills. He used these three base skills to customize each resume he submitted to the specific job description for the position he was seeking. Now that he was seriously applying for a specific position he would never provide a resume for a position without getting a job description from the recruiter. Ideally, he was looking for the actual employers description rather than a generic one. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference but he had become better at deciphering this over time. If he had gotten to know the recruiter well he would just come out and ask them who wrote the job description. If it was the potential hiring manager Smitty felt confident he could write a matching resume that would get him an interview. Smitty knew that the key to moving along in the hiring process was to get the recruiter to champion you so he came up with every excuse possible to talk with the recruiter and get little pieces of information that could help. After a about a month he had secured to face to face interviews with two organizations vying for his services. He couldn’t believe how easy the process was. He accepted a second offer for 100,000 a year plus quarterly bonuses and was off to yet another job and company. Unfortunately, he had to leave this company a couple months after signing on because the organization was misleading their clients into believing they were experienced in an industry they knew little about and offering a modified software solution to them that did not work well. Perhaps he had gained some integrity in his old age after all; he just could not work for a company that lied to their clients. It was not his first time around organizations that conducted themselves this way so he quickly realized what was going on. Fortunately he had at least reached a position in life that afforded him the luxury of bidding a bad company farewell expediently. As he was pulling out of the parking lot that Saturday morning his brain flashed through all the bad companies and managers he had experienced and wished he didn’t have those memories. Then in another flash a big smile came to his face, then he started to laugh and couldn’t stop. He was still swinging at jobs; like Muhammad Ali and Sugar Ray Leonard, he was having a hard time giving up the game.
Chapter 47. ERP Business Analyst
Now firmly entrenched in his belief that he could get jobs at will, Smitty decided to move back to a warmer climate and get any job he wanted. The difference this time was that he had reserved himself to finding a job with a good company however much time and research it took. He was determined to find a company with a track record of growth without selling out their employees or lying to their customers. Despite his vast experience with the corporate world and the cynicism that had come with it he still believed there were good organizations out there trying to do the right things. So he decided to move back to the Tampa Florida area where he still owned a home and begin an exhaustive search for the company he would retire at. His only requirement other than the honesty he was seeking was that the company was based in the Tampa Bay area and he would not have to travel more than twenty five percent of the time. Salary and benefits were irrelevant to him now so he felt sure he would find what he was looking for. He was determined to stay highly selective and thoroughly research every organization prior to signing on. He would fight the urge to say “yes” to the first thing offered. After a couple weeks of research he came up with a new approach. He decided to only look for temp work. He thought about all the short term projects he had worked and remembered how good a look and feel he got of companies this way. He knew that companies were using the temp to perm approach to hiring these days so this would fit nicely into his plan. Although he felt like employers were over-using this approach he figured he could use it to his advantage in his quest to find a good organization to join. He even thought this approach to be somewhat fail safe. Little did he realize at the outset that it was not only far from fail safe; it turned out to be more like “fail dangerously.
Upon arriving back to his Florida home which had still not sold after being unoccupied for a year Smitty set about to execute his perfect job search. Armed with the knowledge and confidence that he was well qualified to land whatever job was within his skill set, he began the familiar process. His job focused network approach was honed to a razors edge now so it only took him a few weeks to narrow his search to a few select companies, endear himself to a knowledgeable local recruiter, create a competitive environment for his services and get personal interviews. After half a dozen interviews which he was pleased he was able to say “no” to, he accepted a three month contract to permanent position with a local company that only required twenty five percent travel or less. The company offered a decent hourly rate with promises of benefits, bonuses, paid time off etc. They had been in business for over thirty years and had a reputation for being fair to their employees and honest with their customers and suppliers. They even touted themselves as a company with Christian ethics and were heavily involved with charitable organizations and efforts within the community. After getting onboard Smitty found the management and employees all seemed to be very happy and the work environment non-political with open communication and clearly understood job descriptions and work expectations. Management went out of their way to make sure Smitty understood that he would never be admonished for making mistakes as long as he learned from them. His superiors seemed committed to making him part of a team effort. From the very first month Smitty felt like they were grooming him for a permanent position after he had fulfilled his ninety day contract period. By the second month Smitty felt like this company might just be the one he had been seeking for many years. This was a company that actually walked the talk. After 90 days with the company he was offered a full time permanent position and he gladly accepted it. They had checked him out and he had checked them out; a perfectly executed job search with a ninety day fail safe clause; his plan had worked. He had found a successful growing company that cared about doing things right. Despite all the ups and downs of his long employment journey he was at least going to finish his career with a good company filled with honest caring individuals. His confidence in the American workplace was renewed; there are good companies out there, you just had to keep looking until you found one. Smitty realized at this moment that his biggest fault to date was his inability to say “no” to job offers. Had he been more selective over the years he might have saved himself a lot of grief and so many job changes.
So Smitty settled into his new and last job with more enthusiasm than he had mustered in years. He went to work early and stayed after hours. He took advantage of every opportunity to learn everything about the company’s systems and processes. By his fourth month he felt like he was ready to take on more work. He began traveling with a team of consultants implementing new warehouse functionality. The only downside he experienced was the travel demands. During his first month as a permanent employee he was required to travel closer to 70% of the time rather than the 25% maximum his management team had originally promised. In the spirit of open communication he mentioned this and was assured that after all the warehouses were up on the new systems his required travel would return to normal. Smitty took this in stride and didn’t give it much thought going forward.
At close to the five month mark Smitty returned from a nine day trip helping a Midwest warehouse get going on the new computer system. His Manager and VP called him into the office. They had an envelope there that Smitty was pretty excited about because he figured it was a bonus for all the extracurricular work he had performed over the last few months. Instead, it was a pink slip! He was being let go! He was told that this was his last day with the company. Smitty was speechless. They provided a standard line about needing someone who paid more attention to details. Smitty was so shocked he couldn’t even think of anything to say in his defense. He had worked so hard. He had done everything he had been asked to do. He had traveled extensively even though that was not supposed to have happen. He had not received any formal reprimands of any kind. He was never written up for anything serious. He had complained about the travel but that was not something he would be let go for without some kind of warning. This was just not the kind of company that would let a person go without some warning. Smitty was so shocked he didn’t even realize what had happen to him until the next day. He had apparently gone through some kind of mental block for a day. Twenty four hours later he could not even recall all the events after his surprising dismissal. How could a company that touted a Christian culture, fair play, open communication and caring environment have actually treated him this way. He would never get his head around this as long as he lived; it was just so impossible in his mind that he did not think he would ever get over it. Smitty found himself in a chair staring out the window a month later; and he mostly stayed in that chair for the next year. One question just kept running through his mind over and over: how could they do that?
Chapter 48. Consultant/Analyst
A little over a year after Smitty’s devastating experience with the perfect company he received a routine recruiter call asking him if he was looking for work. Despite the fact that he had taken himself off of all the job boards and declined dozens of like inquiries over the past year the calls and emails just kept coming. His standard reply was: “No thank you, I’m really not looking for a job right now” This particular recruiter was a little more pushy so Smitty was required to clearly state “No, really I am just not interested, I appreciate the call, but I am retired now”. The following day the same recruiter called again asking him if he would at least discuss a position that seem to fit his skill-set perfectly. Smitty had heard this pitch many times before but was none the less cordial; replying; “I am happy to talk to you about the job but you indicated during you last call that the position was out of my current state, so even if I was inclined to go back to work this would be a show stopper for me”. Smitty figured this reply would stop the recruiter cold and it seem to do so until the next day when she called again. The third phone call surprised Smitty, which was hard to do considering his considerable experience with recruiters. This time the lady apologized for calling again but wanted to know if Smitty would at least be open to visiting with the company at their expense. Once again Smitty clearly stated that he was retired, living in Florida, had no intentions of moving or traveling and was not really that knowledgeable about the systems they were currently trying to operate. Despite this, the recruiter asked Smitty if he would at least speak to the company’s IT Director on the phone. At this point Smitty became somewhat flattered that they were so interested in him; and after a year of wallowing in self pity he certainly needed the ego boost; so he agreed. The next day the IT Director, who was also the hiring Manager for the position called. Smitty and he hit it off on the telephone more so than Smitty could ever remember doing with anyone during his career. Perhaps it was because Smitty was very straight forward about his skills and reluctance to take on any more projects in his life. In some ways the conversation with the IT guy seemed more to him like a counseling session for both of them rather than the planned discussion regarding the open position. By the time the phone call was over Smitty had agreed to visit the company with the understanding that he was not interested in the position and planned to stay retired. Smitty later recalled that he probably said yes to the visit out of curiosity and admittedly some boredom from not working.
So Smitty visited the company the following week and met face to face with the guy that in one phone call had become somewhat of a friend. After shaking hands Smitty immediately said “I appreciate you paying my way here, but I am afraid I am going to disappoint you. As I told you on the phone, I believe you require somebody with more knowledge of the computer system you need support for. Plus, I am just not prepared to relocate. In short, I’m afraid this is just a “no can do” for me no matter what” With that off his chest the IT Director proceeded to show him around the organization, introduce him to the other team members and ingratiate himself with Smitty. After the visit Smitty had to admit he really liked the company, the people and the product they were manufacturing. If he was looking for a job and was ready to relocate he might, under normal circumstances seriously considered trying this one. But, regardless of his interest the fact remained that they were looking for a full time permanent employee three states away, at a fairly modest annual salary, working on systems that he was not that well versed in. He thanked them for the visit, for paying his way, their kind interest in him and bid them farewell. As he was leaving the parking facility he thought about his experience a year earlier and wondered if this was another chance at retiring on a positive note with a truly good company…….. He dismissed the thought almost as quickly as it came. He would not be tricked again!
A week after visiting what he had come to refer to as the “no can do company”, he received another call from the IT Director asking him what it would take to get him to work for them temporarily until they could find someone. Smitty could not believe it. In his entire working life he had never experienced a company so persistent at acquiring his services. If only more of my career had gone this way he thought. Smitty thought about how he could not say no to job offers in the past; and he thought about all the jobs ups and downs and once again he was inclined to say yes. Only this time he would have it his way or no way. So he told the IT Director “OK, if you pay me my hourly rate, plus prepaid hotel and airfare (no expense reports), I will commute to your location for a four day week through year end.” (Approximately three months) I will write up an agreement to this affect and send it to you”. Smitty felt like this would never get approved and he would be off the hook regarding employment with this company for good. After the phone call he resigned himself to changing his phone number and email to make sure he would not get sucked into anything like this again.
Much to Smitty’s surprise, a few days later he received a call from what he thought was the companies HR recruiter informing him that the company had accepted his consulting agreement and looked forward to getting him started right away! Smitty could not believe they had accepted what even he thought was an unheard of consulting arrangement. Despite this thought, here they were on the other end of the phone asking for his email address so they could send him the necessary paperwork to bring him on board. He wanted to yell “hold it, I don’t want this job” but somehow he just couldn’t do it. Next thing you know he is taking ten pages off his fax machine and looking them over. That was when he noticed that the last page was a W4 request. Since he only worked on a 1099 basis this was a red flag to him. He figured he better contact HR right away to make sure there was no misunderstanding. He called the number back that he had on his phone and much to his surprise it was not the company but the recruitment firm that had initially contacted him about the permanent position he had turned down. He found this odd but didn’t really care who managed his on-boarding as long as his agreement was adhered to. He was pleasantly received by the same lady he had talked to weeks before and told her he was pleased that the company had accepted his offer. He then went on to tell her he would only be working temporarily until they found someone so he would be working on a 1099 basis. The nice lady then informed him that was not possible because her firm only employed people on a W2. Smitty then tried to explain again that he was not fulfilling the position they were apparently contracted to recruit for. That was when the big shoe dropped; the recruiter says “you don’t understand sir, you will be working for us”. This struck Smitty as funny before he realized they were very serious and quickly explained that he had no intention of working for anyone but the IT Director and his company per their signed consulting agreement. Smitty immediately thought that he might beat his Shoe Salesmen job for the shortest employment duration. After a rather abrupt end to this conversation Smitty assumed this job had finally reached a fitting end. Unfortunately, it was not over. Smitty received a phone call a few days later from the hiring IT Director apologizing to him about the debacle and informing him that the recruiting company was demanding their commission if they filled the position by putting him on as a consultant. Smitty, who had established a very candid relationship with the Director simply said “well, you know I was never that enthused about this in the first place but I like you and what your company is doing so before this is dead and buried I will offer this: I’ll pay half the fee but I still need to work directly for you on a 1099 with the rest of the deal in tack.” A few days later the Director called back, accepted everything and asked “when can you be here”. As Smitty hung up the phone he thought;
These jobs just keep getting stranger and stranger. Then he had a deep in the gut sinking feeling; back on an airplane, rental car, hotel working on systems I’m not comfortable with at a job that I tried everything not to land or even show an interest in. I even fumbled over questions I knew so they would be sure that I wasn’t right for the job. I gave them outrageous contract terms. I was belligerent with the recruiting firm. I don’t believe in fate but perhaps I will start now because I am apparently supposed to work for this company.
So despite every part of his being saying don’t go Smitty got on a plane and went back to work; and much to his surprise after a few weeks he was humming along like the old days when he was young and all was well. The organization was a pleasure to work for and the end product they manufactured was phenomenal. They honored his 4 day week schedule and booked paid for all his travel directly without him having to do any expense reports, which he always hated. He had always been attracted to manufacturing companies and this was a good one with a great future. He began to feel like he was in on the ground floor of a company that was going to grow rapidly. The company was also located in a nice size growing southern town that he liked. Soon, he was actually considering relocating and working there for a few more years; maybe even until his full retirement age.
After seven weeks of one of the better assignments of his life Smitty’s boss called to inform him that a new CEO had come on board and fired his boss (Controller) and her boss (CFO). Furthermore he regretted to tell me that the new CEO had ordered all contractors let go immediately. Despite the fact that Smitty did not want the job in the first place he felt a real sense of loss at that moment. He made light of it at the moment because he knew that the IT Director with whom he had become quite close was sick about the entire thing. He even offered to help Smitty get another position with a firm that worked with his company. Smitty thought about this for a moment then said “thanks but I’m retired. To this day Smitty still looks back at that seven weeks and is thankful that he had a chance to do something really great on “his last job”.
Chapter 49. ERP Consultant (the great experiment)
Just for giggles, Smitty decided to see if anyone would hire a washed-up Consultant at the age of 71. Surprisingly, he secured a position in a few months and worked back in his old field for four months. He never really wanted the job, but as usual he could not say no when, to his amazement, they made him an offer. After this, he concluded that he could most likely always get a job if he wanted.
It was Friday afternoon when I sat down next to Smitty. His was a fascinating story that I could not get enough of. I spent most of the day and part of the evening listening to him talk about the many jobs he had over the years. I even returned the next day and spent most of Saturday in that lawn chair next to him as he recounted his life-time work experiences. At the end of the second day he took a deep breath then kind of sighed. He said “so you want to get a hot dog?” I knew right then that the story was over. As we rose to go for food, I asked “so you are retired now?” There was that big smile again; he said “Yes, I guess you could say that”. Of course I still work as a greeter down at the superstore five days a week just for something to do. I’m also a security guard at the mall on weekends and I deliver newspapers on Sunday mornings. Mostly, I like to take time off to attend these car shows though. I’ve always liked cars; I even started an auto parts business back in the seventies that has done pretty well. You may have seen our little trucks running auto parts all over town in most cities. He fished in his wallet and produced a business card that he handed to me as he said “I don’t get involved in that much anymore; it seems to run itself just fine, but I have stayed active with the Mustang parts business online and these auto shows help me promote the business. You would be surprised how many calls and online orders I get for 1965, 66 and 67 model parts, which is the only thing I sell. I’ve been collecting Mustangs for forty years. I got a whole barn full of them. My wife tells me that I don’t have a very good understanding of what “retired” means. I believe the definition of retirement is doing what you want to do when you want to do it while relaxing and having fun. I think I have finally achieved that.
After I bid Smitty goodbye and sat down at the wheel of my car, I remembered the business card the old man had given me. I pulled it from my pocket and looked at it. The card read:" Joe Smith, American Worker" and a phone number. As I drove away I had the distinct feeling that I was not doing enough in life.
Acknowledgements
Many thanks to all those who contributed to the creation of this writing. For starters I would like to thank my Mother whose support for me over a lifetime of jobs never wavered. She also provided the basic foundation on which I stood all those working years.
The second most influential person that strengthened this foundation was Eleanor Gentille (Ellie) described in chapter fifteen, she was a terrific mentor and established in me an attention to detail that I used in every single job going forward.
Now the hard part; there are so many people and companies that provided the basis for this story that I wish I could personally thank, but it never occurred to me during my long career that I should keep a list. I now deeply regret this, as well as not taking pictures of all the people, places and organizations I worked with and for. The best I can do is list the companies and thank each of them for all the experiences, kindnesses, and gainful employment; and recall the names of so many who helped me along the way:
Tom Mcdonald; my friend and cousin who gave me my first job. His sense of humor will be with me until I join him in lasting peace.
Earl; who hired and mentored me at McDonalds during my high school days.
Herb Otto and Bill Carr; my USAF supervisors who helped me grow up a little. Their unending patience astounds me till this day.
Don Springer; my Stepfather for making me a part of his life and teaching me so may maintenance skills. Don was a person with unlimited patience that I will admire until I join him in that big tool room in the sky.
Gary; who hired me as a part-time stockman at a toy store during the holiday season and went on to provide a tremendous bookkeeping and general business management experience.
Todd; who hired and taught me the Jewelry business and most importantly how to toughen up a bit where business and money are concerned.
Norman Hale; owner and general manager during my hotel/restaurant management days for giving me the opportunity to try different roles in the organization and for giving me my first glimpse of big time wheeling and dealing.
Jack Farnsworth; who took a chance on me as the youngest person to ever join his organization. If I would have listened better he would have made me a millionaire before the age of thirty like the rest of his crew. His wife Nina taught me how to walk and talk success.
Larry Proffit; another person with unlimited patience that tried to make an insurance agent out of me.
All the waitresses, bartenders and other staff at the Blue Dolphin Hotel and Restaurant who had mercy on me when I became Maître D’ and Restaurant Manager with absolutely no experience. They could have easily let me fail but didn’t.
Bob Nichols; for giving a Yankee a chance at running pipe in the Oklahoma/Texas oil fields; an experience of a lifetime.
Steve; the auto parts salesman that I replaced for spending more time than he was required to drive me around and introduce me to the business.
Mike Udolph and Clay Davis; for hiring and mentoring me at my first manufacturing job. Together, they afforded me an opportunity that led to an extended career in IT.
Harry Kemp; one of the most important mentors in my life; gave me the opportunity to learn all aspects of the procurement function.
John Gildee; hired me for my first corporate procurement role. Taught me to get what you pay for or don’t pay.
Earl Buice; Turned me on to the Atlanta job scene and helped me get a start with a great company that led to a thirty year information technology career.
Barbara Heath Norris of Management Science America (MSA); my first female boss; the fairest most straight forward person I ever met.
Nick Koch of Koch Consulting for keeping me honest and down to earth when we conducted software classes in Atlanta together and his unwavering friendship and support for thirty plus years.
Todd Tramba of MSA; recommended me for my first position in technology teaching software classes; which turned out to be the best job of my life. There are a string of others that were involved in this also; Charlie Thaxton, Charles Howell, Mark Stevens, Tom Beatty, Scott Waters, Stan Stout, Bill Everett and KayC Bond.
Anson Fields of MSA; taught me how to teach and present software solutions using a methodology I used effectively for many years.
Pat Ready of Ohio Health; the worst student and best boss I ever had. He gave me the freedom to expand my IT experience into my own consulting practice. Others that were very supportive and patient with my lack of technical skills; John Bixler, Gail Morrisey and Janet Cassioli.
Cornel E Grier of C.E Grier & Associates for motivating me to start my own consulting firm.
Richard Naismith of Applied Business Concepts provided my first independent consultant opportunity at Time Magazine in New York City; an experience I will cherish for life.
Raymond Heizer of Huntington Bank; provided a lot of work which helped me continue as an independent consultant for many years. He was also kind enough to give me a reference throughout my career. James Stitzlein and Thomas Helber were also very supportive during my time with Huntington.
Walt Pretko, Annamarie Anderson and Randall Aylesworth of Nationwide Insurance for selecting me to conduct their software training and providing consulting work eventually leading to a long term position with Cap Gemini Consulting.
Joseph Brown, Carol Proietti and Dale Rinker of The National Gallery of Art for their continuing support of my consulting practice and a terrific experience working in Washington DC.
Barry Blum of Rubbermaid Corp. for hiring me and providing me with the opportunity to gain the technical knowledge I needed to broaden my IT consulting expertise.
Chet Fedorowicz and John Jordan of Rubbermaid for helping me through the roughest year of my life learning the technical side of software.
Teresa Anderson of Cap Gemini for hiring me with my limited technical background and helping me formalize my consulting credentials. Also motivating me to build the required project management skills so I could move up in the organization and begin running big projects.
Don Gibson of Geac Software for being a friend and reference for many years and trying his best to get me back to Atlanta with the company that I loved the most. (formerly MSA & Dun & Bradstreet Software)
Larry Rushing of Clarus Commerce for coming to my aid with a job when I desperately needed it. Thanks for trusting in my abilities enough to hire me over the phone.
Tom Cornel of Cornel Construction for giving a tenderfoot like me a construction job after the dotcom bust of 2001 leveled the high tech industry in Atlanta.
Scott Madden of Insight Global for finding me a job when there did not seem to be any available in the Atlanta area.
John Bixler and Gail Morrisey of JP Morgan Chase for the references they have provided over the years including helping me get recruited to the Chase team.
I would also like to thank the following companies for the wonderful experiences each provided during my career:
Riverside Methodist Hospitals, Rubbermaid Corp., Ceridian, Compuserve, Nationwide Insurance, Huntington Banks, Bank One, Carnival Cruise Lines, Time Magazine, Time Life Books & Videos, Florida Power, Puerto Rico Electric & Power, Puerto Rico Auto Insurance Company, Met Life, The FBI, Prince Georges County, Black & Decker, The State of North Carolina, The City of Memphis, The City of Charlotte, Coca Cola, Synergy Computer Solutions, Concur Technologies, ArvinMeritor, Agilysis, Infor, Pepsico, Tectura Inc., Tribridge Consulting.